WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION??

Smile knowingly that my wife and I have made the right decision in not having/wanting children.

 

That's awesome.

 

"At least you didn't get the plasma."

 

I'd calmly observe the situation, thank myself for not getting married and having kids, bring it to the attention of the soon-to-be irrate parent and wait for the funny part to happen. Then, after the 'dust settles', I'd laugh my rear end off.

 

We did something similar with our kids when they were small.

We covered the floor with rolls of white paper.
Stripped the boys down to their birthday suits. (9months and 2.5yrs)
Poured out some washable paint and let them go for 10 or 15 minutes.

We got footprints, butt prints and handprints! It was hysterical.

Bathtime was fun too!!

 

I'd give them paint brushes and put their asses to work. For someone else.


I had to laugh when I saw this because it immediately brought to mind an episode of my life when I was about 7 years old. I had started building model cars and planes at a pretty early age and would get the testors paints and brushes. I also had a penchant for repainting my Hot Wheels (I was pretty good at it), so one night I painted a few and put all my little paint jars in a plastic ziploc bag with my brushes, x-acto knife and other stuff and left it on the hardwood floor of my bedroom. After dinner I went back to my room and I found the ziploc bag laying mortally wounded in a puddle of ruby red enamel paint. I had not screwed the cap on well and the paint leaked out of the bottle and out of the bag, and onto the hardwood floor. Not one to panic, I calmly went to the bathroom, got some toiled paper and tried to clean up the paint, in doing so the small confined stain became a very large spread-out ruby red murder scene on my bedroom floor.

I knew I was busted.

Soooo, I went to the kitchen and my mom was at the sink doing dishes, and I tugged at her arm to come with me but I could not get up the courage to tell her outright. I took her to my room and we looked down at my handywork, and my mom wanted to scold me but she knew I was so upset about it and she thought it was better not to say anything, and the agony was killing me. So after taking a sponge and some nail polish remover, my mom got the paint off the floor and I looked at her and said "Well?!?!?!" My mom says "Well what?", and I say "Well, aren't you going to let me have it?" She just stood there and laughed about the whole thing and then told me to just be careful next time.

 

Clean the kids up, break a window, call the cops and blame the local high school kids.

 

two episodes with my boys come to mind.
#1. my 3yr old son came into my study and announced that he had pooped! then procceded to show me his poop covered hands. ugggh now i've got ot give him a bath. bath over and he's clean i follow him into his playroom and as i'm coming dow nthe hallway i'm hit with the stench of CRAP! all over the carpet is little poop hand prints and along the walls is poop smeared hand prints. think dumb/dumber movie. he responds before i can and says "see, i draw on the wall" "stinky poop" at that it's too funny to even bother with punishment. he's never done it again though.

#2. once again my 3yr old makes another mess. he manages to get the bottle of baby powder. and whilst he's in the faimily room he proccedes to empty the entire bottle on himself and his younger brother, the carpet, couch and walls. it looks like a white christmas in the house. it was funny and i thought would be easy to clean. OMFG baby powder is damn near impossible to get out of carpet and leather. it makes a fine paste when wet and vacumming it up takes patience and time. thankfully the dyson held up to its name.

i fully expect more surprises in the future, you have to laugh or you'll go insane!

 

i will tell you exactly what i would do....i would turn around, walk right back out that damn door, call the wife....and tell her i was gonna be getting home late from work....so she would walk in on it!!!

 

That's awesome. When I was about four or five, I walked out to our garage, picked up a screwdriver off of the floor, and proceeded to carve my name into the recently painted flank of my dads '63 Studebaker Avanti. He picked me up I received a mild spanking, and then he just had to walk out of the garage. I'm surprised I lived.

 

My son was 6 or 7 years old and was p-o'd because he had been given a timeout and told to sit on the sidestep. Well he had rollerblades on and proceeded to kick the passenger side door of the Previa that was right in front of him in the carport. Repeatedly. By the time my wife noticed this banging sound and came out to investigate, the door was dimpled with about 30-40 nickle size dents. He never did anything like that again, after we were done with the punishment; but he did find other things to do .

 

I would congratulate them

 

When I was 8, I actually did something VERY similar to this...My mom just laughed her a** off...

 

Funny, my 3 yr old boy did the EXACT same thing (the poop story) (except it was at my office) LOL.

 

When in doubt, evade. Always evade!!!
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Kick the ass of whoever left a can of white paint where the little ones could get at it and INTO it.

 

Have to add one more!
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Ahhh, the joys of parenting. Anyone that has kids that age knows that the entire scene could have taken place in less than 30 seconds. My question is - who didn't hammer the lid down?!?