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Just for fun...

Discussion in 'Ferrari Discussion (not model specific)' started by bpu699, Jul 27, 2006.

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  1. bpu699

    bpu699 F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Dec 9, 2003
    17,825
    wisconsin/chicago
    Full Name:
    bo
    #1 bpu699, Jul 27, 2006
    I am starting to feel that many of you feel as passionately about your ferrari, as you do your wives/girlfriends...sometimes more so. I have also noticed that the same threads keep coming up over and over, regarding ferrari's... And then, somehow, my mind made the questionable leap of beginning to think of one's wife as a ferrari... In light of that twisted thinking, I have re-wriiten some of the most popular thread questions and answers on here...just substitute "wife" for "ferrari", and voila!

    1) So, how much did your wife cost?

    2) Why is the maintenance on your wife so high?

    3) Would you valet your wife?
    ans: Only if the valet took her where I can see her...

    4) Why are the parts on my wife so expensive?

    5) Hey, what kind of fabulousness do you guys do, so you can afford your wives?

    6) Can you post pics of your wife in front of your house?

    7) What kind of lube do you use on your wife?

    8) How many miles before your wife is unsaleable?

    9) I need to service my wife, can anyone help? Any manuals?

    10) Folks don't notice my wife...should I add an exhaust?

    11) I was riding my wife, and some girl made a nasty comment about my manhood...

    12) Every time I am at the gas station, a couple of teen age guys come up and ask about my wife.

    13) I didn't get my wife because she was the fastest, or the most dependable. It all about the feel...

    14) My wife costs alot, and if you can't afford the maintenance, buy a toyota...

    15) I paid cash for my wife. If you are leasing, you can't afford her...

    16) Took my wife to the shop, they want 4000$ each, and the warranty is only 1 year...

    17) Why does my wife leak? And what is it? Can you guys come over?

    18) Trying to sell my wife? Whats a good price?

    19) Found a new wife...what's everyone think? Anyone want to take a ride with me? Can someone go out and look her over?

    20) I am restoring my old wife...should I stick with the same color...

    Anyone else?
     
  2. yellow jacket

    yellow jacket Formula Junior

    Feb 25, 2006
    294
    Modesto CA
    Full Name:
    Charles Lunsford
    #2 yellow jacket, Jul 27, 2006
    Thank GOD you don't have to make payments on an Ex-Ferrari!!!
     
  3. Modenafan

    Modenafan F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 19, 2004
    12,069
    Moorpark
    Full Name:
    Jon
    #3 Modenafan, Jul 27, 2006
    1) So, how much did your wife cost? Too Much

    2) Why is the maintenance on your wife so high? Good Question

    3) Would you valet your wife? Absolutely
    ans: Only if the valet took her where I can see her...

    4) Why are the parts on my wife so expensive? Another good question

    5) Hey, what kind of fabulousness do you guys do, so you can afford your wives? I'm quitting and going to work at K-Mart

    6) Can you post pics of your wife in front of your house? I like you guys too much to do that.

    7) What kind of lube do you use on your wife? Natural

    8) How many miles before your wife is unsaleable? Already passed go.

    9) I need to service my wife, can anyone help? Any manuals? I'll be right over

    10) Folks don't notice my wife...should I add an exhaust? Yes, 2.

    11) I was riding my wife, and some girl made a nasty comment about my manhood...There's a pill for that

    12) Every time I am at the gas station, a couple of teen age guys come up and ask about my wife. Never happens

    13) I didn't get my wife because she was the fastest, or the most dependable. It all about the feel...I would have to agree

    14) My wife costs alot, and if you can't afford the maintenance, buy a toyota...Had I known

    15) I paid cash for my wife. If you are leasing, you can't afford her...Now you tell me

    16) Took my wife to the shop, they want 4000$ each, and the warranty is only 1 year...Sounds like a deal

    17) Why does my wife leak? And what is it? Can you guys come over? Please take a look, I've been able to figure it out

    18) Trying to sell my wife? Whats a good price? I'll take any offer

    19) Found a new wife...what's everyone think? Anyone want to take a ride with me? Can someone go out and look her over? Come on over

    20) I am restoring my old wife...should I stick with the same color...No, I'll try something new on the next one.

    I'm going on 21 years of marriage so it's all just in fun.
     
  4. miketuason

    miketuason F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Feb 24, 2006
    15,833
    Cerritos, CA.
    Full Name:
    Mike
    #4 miketuason, Jul 27, 2006
    Funny stuffs
     
  5. bpu699

    bpu699 F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Dec 9, 2003
    17,825
    wisconsin/chicago
    Full Name:
    bo
    #5 bpu699, Jul 27, 2006
    And to continue:

    22) What do I wash my wife with?

    23) My wife comes with a full service history, she was rarely abused and the last guy was very gentle...

    24) Only 2 guys fit in my wife at once...

    25) I see you have a wife for sale. I am 6'6''...will I fit?

    26) I could have had a wife, but got a boat instead.

    27) Took my wife to the drag strip, did it in 12 seconds flat...

    28) Would you guys leave your wife outside? What about a cover?

    29) Got a lift for my wife, so I can store my other one below it...

    30) My wife left me stranded...

    31) My wife has this weird moan from the left front, what could it be?

    32) I am only 22 and already have 3 wives, you guys are just jealous. I have a jet too...
     
  6. bpu699

    bpu699 F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Dec 9, 2003
    17,825
    wisconsin/chicago
    Full Name:
    bo
    #6 bpu699, Jul 27, 2006
    33) What kind of leakdown number can I get from my wife? Is that hot or cold?
    Ans: Its all in the technique...depends on the operator...

    34) My wifes compressions isn't that good, what should I do?
    Ans: Just add more lube, it isn't worth fixing yet. If she doesn't smoke out the rear when shes warm, youre good...

    35) I lost my job and can't afford my wife, what do I do?
    Ans: Take her to a bad neighborhood and leave her running...

    36) Do you guys take your wife to work?
    Ans: No, it's not PC.

    37) I had to try out 3 wives before I found the right one, be patient...

    Hey, this is fun ;). And for the record, I love my wife :)...
     
  7. Dom

    Dom F1 Veteran
    Owner

    Nov 5, 2002
    8,489
    #7 Dom, Jul 27, 2006
    bpu699: You owe me money for a new monitor. I just spewed my drink onto the screen while reading your posts. Hillarious.

    Dom
     
  8. bpu699

    bpu699 F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Dec 9, 2003
    17,825
    wisconsin/chicago
    Full Name:
    bo
    #8 bpu699, Jul 27, 2006
    Which one did you like? I am always pleased when I can get someone to spit up... ;).
     
  9. show time

    show time Formula Junior

    Jan 5, 2006
    670
    Scottsdale AZ
    Full Name:
    Chris
    #9 show time, Jul 27, 2006
    This is great!
     
  10. JonBrent

    JonBrent Formula Junior

    Nov 10, 2003
    732
    Heaven on Earth
    Full Name:
    JB
    #10 JonBrent, Jul 27, 2006
    38) Should I buy the best one I can afford?

    39) If I can't afford to hire good service personel, can I work on my wife myself?

    40) Why does Tom Shaugnessy keep trying to buy my wife?
     
  11. bpu699

    bpu699 F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Dec 9, 2003
    17,825
    wisconsin/chicago
    Full Name:
    bo
    #11 bpu699, Jul 27, 2006
    40) I heard Tom has the best old wives in pieces in a garage somewhere.

    41) If I have a small piece of wife 0402, and rebuild the rest, is she still my wife?

    42) What will my wife be worth, in 15 years?

    43) Should I use my wife? What if she gets wet?
     
  12. switchcars

    switchcars Formula 3

    Jul 28, 2005
    2,223
    Full Name:
    Doug
    #12 switchcars, Jul 27, 2006
    BEST THREAD EVER!!!!!
     
  13. jhsalah

    jhsalah Formula 3
    Silver Subscribed

    Apr 10, 2006
    2,409
    Philadelphia, PA
    Full Name:
    Jawad
    #13 jhsalah, Jul 27, 2006
    SECOND THAT... THIS IS UTTERLY HILARIOUS...!!! :D :D
     
  14. 3forty8

    3forty8 F1 Rookie
    Owner

    Apr 25, 2006
    2,713
    San Diego
    Full Name:
    Eric
    #14 3forty8, Jul 27, 2006
    My Ferrari keeps asking me what I'm doing in the garage with my wife for so long each evening. I think my Ferrari is getting upset with all the time I spend with my wife... I ask my Ferrari to go for a ride in my wife but just doesn't seem to share the passion. Yet I still love my Ferrari very much!
     
  15. No Doubt

    No Doubt Seven Time F1 World Champ

    May 21, 2005
    72,740
    Vegas+Alabama
    Full Name:
    Mr. Sideways
    #15 No Doubt, Jul 27, 2006
    I want my wife to go topless, so how do I get her top down?

    What if my wife gets wet when her top is down?

    How do I clean my wife if she gets wet?

    Would my wife look better with aftermarket shoes, or keep them OEM?

    My Ferrari is complaining that my wife is too loud, what do I do?

    My wife squeals when I hit the brakes. Is this normal?

    I want my wife to be faster. Should I put her on NOS?

    What would you do if someone stole your wife and wrecked her?
     
  16. DiscoInferno

    DiscoInferno Formula Junior

    May 8, 2005
    281
    Helotes, TX
    Full Name:
    James Humphreys
    #16 DiscoInferno, Jul 28, 2006
    My wife is hard and cracked and was a lot more fun when she was soft and supple. So is it time for the ol' lacquer thinner + Rejuvinator oil routine? Mike C said it worked miracles on his cracked, dried up wife.
     
  17. No Doubt

    No Doubt Seven Time F1 World Champ

    May 21, 2005
    72,740
    Vegas+Alabama
    Full Name:
    Mr. Sideways
    #17 No Doubt, Jul 28, 2006
    My wife was in a hit and run. Someone rear-ended her. Should I call the police or handle it myself?

    My neighbor wants to wax my wife. Should I let her?

    Some local college girls keep asking to take their pictures with my wife when she's topless. Is this normal?

    My wife is taking over my garage. She's got all sorts of new tools. Will my Ferrari become jealous?
     
  18. andrewg

    andrewg F1 Rookie
    BANNED

    Sep 10, 2002
    4,667
    Chester, England
    Full Name:
    AndrewG
    #18 andrewg, Jul 28, 2006
    44) My wife's expensive to buy and run, spends far too much time in the shop, yet still gets beaten in a straight line by the latest Japanese wive's that are faster, more practical & comfortable, yet cost half the price to run ...what gives?
     
  19. bpu699

    bpu699 F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Dec 9, 2003
    17,825
    wisconsin/chicago
    Full Name:
    bo
    #19 bpu699, Jul 28, 2006
    45) Hi! I am graduating next week! Does anyone have a wife I can borrow for a couple of hours? I don't have to be in control, I would be happy just to ride along!

    46) Is there any place in Vegas where I can rent a wife? Preferably a newer one. The cool thing about rentals is you can really abuse them!

    47) I just bought my wife, and I am over my head and upside down. I tried to return her, but I owe too much. What can I do? Should I drop her off in a bad neighborhood?
     
  20. peteskie

    peteskie Karting

    Jan 11, 2006
    128
    Oakville ON Canada
    Full Name:
    Peter D
    #20 peteskie, Jul 28, 2006
    10) Folks don't notice my wife...should I add an exhaust?



    I'm usually looking for a quieter muffler for mine ;)
     

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