Martial Arts - Father & Son [ADVICE NEEDED!]

Karate is the best way to get in to martial arts. I was in the same shoe as your son when I was young. I was the smallest of the group, afraid of the big boys so I told my parents I want to do martial arts.

You guys will do exercise before and after training just to loosen up and cool down after training. Your son would definitely get the dicipline and focus. As for self-esteem, he would quickly build it up as his rank gets higher knowing he is getting tougher and knowing he can protect himself.

I'm sure both of you will definitely have a great time learning and training at the same time. GOOD LUCK!

Erik-

 

I have to disagree with Viper, but then again I'm biased towards Taekwondo. I too was the small kid , but I was ranked in the top ten of NJ 2 years in a row, I earned my second degree black belt and I was good. I loved it, grew tired of it but that was for personal reasons. He should be fine with the training and bigger kids, he will have to learn to deal with them one day.

Good luck!!!

 

I took martial arts for ~5 years (11 to 16 years old), the first two years being Twae Kon Do at the local YMCA, then after we moved, I started learning The American Open System.

The TKD was very kata-oriented (khata? I can't remember), no-contact sparring (mainly because the Y didn't want to get sued). It seemed ok at first, but then I started realizing that I wasn't really learning how to control my body or focus mentally because it was all very superficial.

Once I moved to the AOS (I started over from white belt), I learned SO much more and SO much faster. That class was more practically oriented (we did very few katas), with light sparring in the beginning, with toughness increasing with my abilities to the point where I would walk out with bloody noses and fat lips. They would have gone lighter, of course, but I found that the harder my training was, the more disciplined, more focused, and more in control of myself. The training was much more intense, my sensei and other instructors pushed me hard, and I had to really think about what I was doing. Having to leave that school was my only regret in going to boarding school my junior and senior years of high school.

I guess the moral of my story is this; obviously go observe different schools before you choose, both the kids and adult classes. You'll be able to tell which schools will be more intense (not necessarily in a physical manner like mine) while still being able to cater to your son, where the high level of intensity may not be as appropriate until he ages a little more. I think you'll find that you'll get much more out of the martial arts that way than going to some feel-good school where advancement in belts seems to be the only objective.

Disclaimer: I know many schools do only kata, and I can see where many would feel they work much better for them. I just happened to find getting the crap beat out of me more useful.

 

Same here. Its good to be ahead learning what you're going to do when you get in a fight in the real world. That's an advantage for me but then again there is no rules when it comes to street fights.. everything goes.

 

I was a TKD kid too (1st degree blackbelt) and would have loved it if my dad was involved with me. Everything you mentioned you will get out of a good school. My advice would be to look at a couple different places and see what would be the best fit for you and your son.

Just for reference, if you go the TKD route, Southern Koreans will be less sparring oriented and more control/technique oriented. Northern Koreans from my experience will be more about sparring and less quality technique. I went to schools taught by both and think from what said you're looking for a South Korean instructor would be the best to look for. Don't get me wrong with a South Korean you will still learn the fighting aspect but will spend less time on it. I feel the way I was taught by the South Korean, I was made a better fighter by their teaching methods since they made you master what you were doing before applying it.

Hope this helps.

Mark

 

I did TKD for about 2 years as a kid -- about 6-8 years old...then from 10-18 i did shorin-ryu/shotokan..took a break from martial arts, and about a year ago, i picked up Kendo...which is tremendous amounts of fun [for the older people ]...but since i started grad school, i havent had much time for kendo, thouhg I plan on going back once i'm done.

 

I started tkd when I was eight. I stuck with it for 2 yrs, but my heart was never in it. I switched to hwa rang do, then kajikimbo, all the while going through the motions, but not really making the connection I was looking for, or that motivated me. When I found RBWI, I was hooked! The live sparring and realistic applications was what I was looking for, and I stuck with it.

You have to find a discipline that works for you. TKD is great for some, it just wasnt for me. Try a few different ones, and see what moves you and your son. My 6yr old daughter and I tried kenpo for a year, and it just wasnt really working for her, so we are trying akido. But that was still a year I spent with her doing something together.

My one recommendation(and this is MY opinion) If you walk in and it says on the wall...We are a Black Belt school... Turn around and walk out.

 

i've been a student of several styles for nearly 40 years now and given the parameters you've given for your goals i'd say any large popular tae kwon do school should do.

 

I agree that the most important thing to do is go to several schools and see the classes, talk to the teachers and senior students, and find out what the goals of the schools are. Then you can choose the right program for you.
For beginners, I think TKD and Karate are fine (I've studied both - thought TKD was a bit more fun). In my opinion, be wary of schools that want you to sign a contract right away - contracts are not necessarily bad (many are), but shouldn't be required until you get a few months of training in. Also, be careful of the schools that guarantee a black belt in such-and-so amount of time or that have a bunch of 8 year old black belts running around. You'll want a school that is serious about the art, not just about money. Good luck, doing martial arts with your kids is one of the greatest things you can actually do together. Hope it works out.

 

Tabled comparison of karate styles.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_karate_styles

Based on your criteria, Gojū Ryū may be right up you and your son's alley.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goju-ryu

 

I was a student of Taekwondo (ATA) for several years along side my dad when I was younger. From a purely practical standpoint, we both found ATA Taekwondo to be very poor. We studied (memorized) forms and participated in sparring, but nothing really translated to the real world well. For example, in ATA TKD sparring, you're not (at least you weren't back then) allowed to punch to the head during sparring sessions. Over time, you learn to ignore hand moves to the face because they're not a sparring threat. You don't have to be a bar room brawler to figure out that's a pretty bad habit to pick up. Another reason that I don't like a major focus on sparring is because a real fight will almost never happen this way. Almost every real fight ends up on the ground relatively quickly and there's no one there to blow a whistle and stand you and your opponent back up to start again!

I lost interest and ended up quitting after a few years. Dad moved on and has been involved with martial arts for more than 20 years, studying Kuk Sool Won for about ten years now. He says that KSW offers a lot of practical applications and physical challenges for him (a lot of complex forms, throws, falls, breaks, etc). Unlike TKD, where someone can achieve black belt status relatively quickly, KSW requires much more time and skill to reach similar status. He's also told me that the workouts were much more intense with KSW, but that's likely more of an attribute to the instructor than the art itself.

That's my two cents. Hope it helps.

 

I definitely agree with what most people have been saying in this thread. Just go watch some schools for one or two classes before you commit. Martial Arts will be a great thing for your son.

As has been said, be wary of the schools that seem to have a large number of blackbelts.

When my brother and I took Karate up in Ohio, the way we advanced was by going to a large 'convention' type deal in one of the larger cities. A lot of schools brought their students to this thing for 'testing'. In my opinion, that is the worst possible way for advancement. There are about 30 instructors there that do one 'station' and then just give thumbs up or down (almost always up... I don't remember seeing anyone that didn't get the next belt).

Try to talk to the head senseis at all the schools to just get a feeling for why they are teaching these classes. Asking the right questions will really give you a sense for why they are teaching the classes.


As for my brother and I (Neurospeed), our second school made us work for our belts. We were there for 7th through 10th grades, and for the last belt we earned before we went to school, we had to spar everyone in the class without a break, and then we sparred the sensei... full contact. Then we sparred each other. It was one of the most gruelling hours of my life physically, but we earned our brown belts. Our having to really work for our belts at that school made getting them all that much sweeter.

You have a great idea, and you if you find the right school, you'll never get tired of it.

I'll leave you with a quote from our sensei that will never leave me:

"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst"

 

i took tae-kwon do for about 3 years, got one belt away from black belt, but dropped out at age 12 to join the boy scouts. i keep thinking about going back, and eventually i will i think. it's a great way to get exercise, and learn how to defend yourself, and a lot of fun none the less.

 

Doody

The first thing I would say is try not to get caught up in the “what style is the best” syndrome that seems to plague most people who are looking into martial arts for the first time. They all have their strengths and weaknesses and performance is usually a function of the individual’s skill in picking up the material and the instructors teaching abilities.

I agree with some here that mentioned to go and observe a few classes before making any decisions, some even offer a couple of free lessons to test the waters. Many schools have kid classes that should definitely be checked out beforehand to see how the instructor (sensei, sifu, etc) conducts the class. How does he/she relate to the kids? Are they actually learning something or are they just going through the motions? Is there a coherent process to how they teach? Is their attention being held (at 6 years of age this can be difficult)? Does he/ she show a good balance between having fun, serious discipline, and positive reinforcement? Talk to the other parents.

Make sure you find out about contracts and fees. Be wary of schools that say “get your black belt in 6 months” or instructors who claim to be 9th degree black belts but are 20 years old. Also be wary of the McDojo, the ones offering 15 different styles taught by one instructor who doesn’t have the credentials to back it up or the ones who have made up their own styles or “ninja masters”

I think it should go without saying that above all it should be a fun and rewarding endeavor.

If you have any questions on styles or in general, I’d be glad to help you out.

 

I hate to beat a dead horse, but you need to visit a few schools and take a few classes. I trained hardcore for about eight years (25-30 hours a week)and have been training off and on for the past two. My instructor has a great attitude and is a wonderful adult teacher. However, he is an ok teacher of the kids. Even though you are admittedly "green", you need to trust your gut when it comes to the schools. I've run into a number instructors who were overcompensating. Listen to your little voice when it tells you something isn't right.

It may sound trite, but the best school for you is the one you will commit to. With that in mind, proximity is important. It's easy to become too busy for the fun things in our life.

As far as styles go, for where you are, it is difficult to go wrong...unless you are a big dude with achy joints, then some of the more acrobatic arts may hurt in a bad sort of way.

Finally, look for a school with a few girls. They bring balance to the dojo. Working with them teaches control and technique. You do not want to be the guy who injure the girl because you muscled through a pattern! If there are no girls, that means the culture may be too chest-thumping to support the balance. That type of attitude usually means injuries.

 

Good points, Nick. I have found this to be true as well. I remember training at a Hapkido dojang, nothing but 20-something year old guys, and guess what? I didn't stay long - not an ideal learning environment!

There are styles to stay away from as a beginner (Hapkido comes to mind!), but Kung-fu, TaeKwonDo, and Karate can give you a great base to get into other styles later if you want. There is a reason that these arts are so popular - they are great fun and accessible to everyone, young or old, boy or girl, rich or poor.

 

My 5 year olds are in Tae Kwon Do. With your kids being 6, you probably won't be in the same class with them. At this age, you want the kids to learn to pay attention to instructors, and your presence would hinder that.

In terms of the training, I do agree that most of the time is studying forms, which I personally don't enjoy.

In regards to this translating as a real world skill, you have to realize that most "fights" last about 10 seconds. THE most useful thing you can learn and retain from Tae Kwon Do, is how to kick. Most opponents have no skill or ability to defend against this.

If you are in a life threatening situation, one side kick to the chest, neck, or face...and you are done. Thats all you need to remember. If you don't practice for a year, you will forget every form you learned, short of the low level yellow and below forms. But, you will know how to throw a punch, and throw some decent kicks. That, in itself, may save your life or that of a loved one.

My kids have been doing this for a couple months, and with daddy's help they throw a mean punch. Quite seriously, it hurts quite a bit when they punch my palm. I am still waiting for that call to the principals office...

 

All kicking aside. Martial arts teaches discipline. This is the intent; discipline is the ultimate secret to success, whatever the endeavor. It is the secret to survival. With a severe back injury, my surgeon asked if I had the discipline to undergo rigorous therapy rather than surgery. As a career US Army officer, I undertook the challenge. Today, I walk. I drive my Ferrari. I know I will be ridiculed for my career choice. Nonetheless, I walk. Whether you agree with the principles, your children can benefit. Let them try it and monitor. Cheers.

 

Tae Kwon Do!

 

Bpu699

No disrespect but I think to suggest that knowing how to kick is the most useful thing you can learn from Tae Kwon Do or any art for that matter is way off base. There are too many variables involved in a confrontation to be relying on a kick to defend yourself and there could be many instances when you don’t even have enough time to launch a kick.

Doody,

As I stated before, don’t get caught up in a style war or listen to others stating “their style is the best” for this or that. I’m not bashing Tae Kwon Do here but if you chose to go that route try to find a more traditional school. It seems nowadays most TKD schools are too commercial and concentrate too much on point system tournament sparring and lose sight of applications. I feel a good school has a balance between physical work, forms, and applications.

As said by myself and many, go to a bunch of different schools (different styles) in the area and observe what’s being taught and talk to the teachers.

 

I took Judo and for a small child that may be safer than kicking/ punching. The workout is great and I don't think I've ever had an injury or sore anything.


Judo is more about taking down people and holding them down with trips and throws rather than bashing and hacking.

 

I completely agree. Most fights begin in very close proximity and become wrestling matches almost immediately. About the only kicking that takes place happens when someone is already on the ground.

 

Guys, I just don't see it that way.

If someone wants to attack you, whether by punching, lunging, kicking, stabbing, what have you...if you can get in one solid punch or kick, its over. Thats all it takes.

One good punch to the face, from someone who KNOWS how to throw a punch, and you opponent is down. Thats it. End of story.

One solid front kick, roundhouse, whatever, to the upper torso and you are down. End of story. A solid side kick to the face, and you are likely dead. When you contemplet the force that a good roundhouse or side kick generates, it is quite amazing.

Fights on the ground happen when niether person knows how to fight, or you are in grade school. Just my personal opinion, as I haven't had to fight anyone since highschool (thank god).

I have though, had a chance to spar quite a bit. And even with head gear on, and pads, with your opponent fighting at 75% (hardly "kill mode"), a solid kick to the head gets you down. You aren't unconcious, but you are stunned. I can old imagine what a kick to the face, in full anger, with the adrenaline rushing, might do. I am fairly certain that you would kill the other person.

I have no strong predilection towards TWD, and if there were karate schools in my area, I wouldn't mind studying that. The message is the same. What you learn and retain from these lessons is primarily how to throw a punch, perhaps do some blocks, and if you can - throw in a good kick. Those skills alone are more than 99.99% of the population is capable of.

If you trully believe that the action is "on the ground", then by all means, practicing wrestling is where its at...