Help Cheering Up 12 Yr old Daughter please!!

Just about every 12 year old girl I've ever known wants a horse. She will be the envy of the neighborhood. And if she just "has" to compete, she can show it or go to the Olympics.

She can learn to take care of it and have resposibility. Join a club where she can make friends. That's what I would do.

I have a son with a learning disability. It is very important that they have successes and feel good about themselves early in life.

Best of luck to you and your family.

Phil

I teach handicapped skiing to people that can't even walk. I am sure she can learn to ski too. She may not be a racer but she doesn't have to. She may be able to transition into snow boarding which is very popular with kids nowadays.

 

Can she go for a jog with you? Just because.

 

Maybe hand eye cordination sports are not her thing.

Im going to go out on a limp and say try water sports...swimming, synchronized swimming, waterskiing, a friend of mine does Rowing...Ballet?

 

Sorry to hear this Jerry. Nothing like seeing your little girl sad and upset.
There has already been some good advice given here, so I wont try and suggest anything. I just hope she cheers up soon. Little girls should not get upset at that age about sport.

 

Did not see it mentioned, but Cheer or a dance team. Whether it be through he school or outside organization. I had a lot of girl friends who did both of those during junior high and into high school. Still has the team element and interaction with other girls.

 

Tell her to go stand in a corner... no seriously.

Take the volleyball, put both hands together and just keep tapping the ball, keep it going in the corner. In close proximity it would be hard for the ball to get away as well as give her quick rapid experience in hand position and what direction the ball goes to.

You can do the same with a wall, bounce a tennis ball just in front of the wall and keep catching it. repeat. It may take a bit, but she'll build quick basic fundamentals. Also doing the same at close quarters with a soccer ball our with a basketball trying to just may on the floor with feet up on the wall and tossing it at an imaginary spot on the wall. This will create musle memory on how to shoot.

Martial arts is good too, but worst case scenario, she can join Lacrosse or fieldhockey and never need to learn the sport, she can just be the onfield enforcer. When I started Lacrosse, I just punished people when they made me a midfielder. After a while being the mvp for taking out the opposing team, the league decided I either change positions or leave, so I went in to offensive side and by that point learned enough about stick handling to be a darned good attackman with no fear. Oh and the insane ability to kamikaze the goalies. Lead my league in scoring for 3 years

 

Yeah. Good call!

Self esteem, discipline, fitness, the ability to kick some "Rosie in training's" ass who laughs at her in school....

all good.

We are actually putting our 6 y/o into a martial arts class this summer to see how it takes.

 

I help train kids in MMA at an undisclosed "818" location. Everyone wants to spar with the 33 year old fat guy, but experience beats enthusiasm everytime.

mom: "I don't pay you guys all that money everymonth to beat up my kid"
me: "well actually, you do..."

Before moving from OC I was offered a coachin position for a high school Lacrosse team too.

 

Jerry,

If she likes to run, Cross Country in the Fall and perhaps Track & Field
in Spring. My oldest, now 22, in her own words, “Ran like a Slug”, but
liked the Field events and the camaraderie. She played Basketball in 8th
grade but couldn’t dribble the ball while running without keeping eye
contact with the Ball (Not Joking). She did get a little better, but her
strength was on defense. By mid season she was a starter. Not because
she could score, but she could keep the opposing teams hotshot from
getting to the basket and never fouled out. She scored maybe a dozen
point all year but she gave it her all. More importantly though, she
exuded a great since of humor and could laugh at herself.
She never pouted, or got down on herself.

As parents, all we can really do is provide Love, support and encouragement.
They grow up way to fast… sigh.

 

I think she should give basketball a try like somebody else suggested.

A basketball is very inexpensive...same goes with setting up a court. It's something you can practice on your own a lot and with friends. I wouldn't even worry about shooting. Dribbling and passing and defense are the key at her age and even older.

Some of the sports some are suggesting are more "individual" type sports and to me you have to force yourself to interact more with others. With basketball it's part of the game and communication is important on and off the court.

I think you also need to tell your daughter that nothing comes easy. She has to work for it and practice.

Also...take her bowling a few times. When she gets pretty good then have a bowling party with her friends. Most likely her friends probably have not bowled much. When they see how good she is...that could be a confidence builder too. Good luck.

Man...I'm glad I don't have to worry about this kind of stuff

 

+1

 

Jerrari
There has been some really good advice here. Like someone else said, Volleyball is alot harder than it looks. I played for many years indoor 4 man as well as 6 man and outdoor 2 man beach in A and Open class. It takes alot of time and practice. Let her know that I suck at setting too. It could be one of the hardest things on a volleyball court to do well.

I would try martial arts, cross country running or softball(not sure if she has already tried). If she can play the violin her hand-eye coordination should be there. Plus, if she strikes out alot you can remind her that the greatest baseball players in the world only get a hit 3 out of 10 times.

I have 2 daughters of my own (4 and 18 mths) and being athletic myself, I'm not sure how I will cope if they are not. I am not a sit in front of the T.V. all day sunday sports fan but I played soccer in college and I think athletics can be an important part of the school experience.

The important thing is that you and your wife love her and she already knows that. So she'll be fine in the long run. You know what, I am going to start another thread. I'll call it "Things that I suck at!" Give it a day or so and have her look at that thread. I bet it is a very long thread if people will be honest. I could go on for days just by myself.

 

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Karts require some upper body strength, I'd avoid taking out my daughter to a sport where she'd develop arms like a gorilla or worse yet, turn in to this

 

our 11 yo daughter has been doing tap dance for a few years, easy to pick up and good exercise, shows, etc...

I used to do Hunter/Jumper stuff when I was younger - it's 99% girls and good discipline, just expensive to start, and very expensive to continue! even makes an Fcar look cheap

Our son, 9 yo, has many of the coordination issues mentioned - regular time with an Occupational Therapist has worked wonders. Also taught me a lot about my childhood (Developmental Coordination Disorder - who knew there was a name for computer nerds? ).

 

I like the idea of golf or a musical intrument.

Maybe yall should try every sport that might interest her and see what she likes. I remember when i was younger i was quite chubby and wasnt very athletic. That's when my father took me to play every sport possible. Thats when i fell in love with basketball and golf. Still play today as a hobby. Golf really is a sport i enjoy to do the most.

But yea, see if yall can try different and see what she likes. It's a start.

Or just do the other option i like to do the most....Play Poker. I kidd

John

 

cheerleading?

 

Jerry


12 and uncoordinated not shocking. I could tell you the list of bones and things broken by my attempts to "Be a jock"

arm
ankle
shoulder
other arm
wrist
concussion
broken nose
fractured sternum
Split rotator cuff
etc
I was never good but i gave it my ALL and then some

have you had her eyes checked lately? seriously depth perception can be an issue.

Also go buy a $10 volley ball and take her to the back yard the effort you put in with her at this age lobbing it up to her and spending that "Quality" time with her will benefit her more than the sport ever will.

just say "come on honey lets figure this out together" and spend the evening with her.

 

+1

Telling her that "maybe it's not your thing" probably isn't what she wants to hear. Parents usually tell kids "you can do anything you put your mind to".

But you can't drive Monaco until you master the basics. If she's going to learn a sport (or a musical instrument, or ...), it takes a commitment to learn all the elements.

The three day x 4.5 hour immersion probably isn't the way to start in sports. Dumping the kid in the deep end only works for swimming.

"Do, or do not -- there is no 'try'" -- Yoda.

 

The main thing with kids and things like this is, confidence.

If they are totally clumsy in all areas of a particular sport, you MUST fine ONE area of that sport and concentrate on it, build their confidence in that ONE area, and once they see they can do well in that ONE area, then tackle another one.

I know a lot of guys that Golf - but they can usually do ONE thing well: drive, hit short, hit medium, chip, or putt, seldom can one do all five, or even three of the five.

Get her to concentrate on receiving serves, or setting, or tapping over the net, something, but just one thing. If you instill the confidence that they can do ONE thing, they 'should' want to move to a different area/aspect of the sport and get that new area down.
If SHE WANTS to do a sport, find her one SHE wants to do, you can't cram a sport down a kids' throat. It may be V-B, Tennis, Golf, Swimming, Diving, Softball, a track or field event, but if a kid has it in their mind that THEY want to do something, expose them to it, but have them understand they will not become an ace in all areas overnight, it really does take practice.

 

Although it has been suggested a few times in this thread before, taking her to the golf range every once in awhile is something she might enjoy. Worst case, the two of you get a chance to hang out at the golf range.

 

If confidence is an issue, stay away from golf. It takes a lot of practice to even hit the ball mildly straight let alone consistently.

 

Is she looking to play a sport for the sake of playing a sport? Or is she looking to play a sport to be part of a team? I think that Golf is a great idea (not to mention that she can play with you) and most high schools have a girls golf team, although it seems to be a bit harder to find grade/middle schools that have these programs (especially in school districts that are forced to make concessions as budgets are being cut...sound familliar Michigan residents?). My niece has payed her way through private college education with her involvement on her collegiate golf team, along with some help from the First-Tee program and she had some of the same issues that your daughter is dealing with. Good luck and keep her involved...she'll figure it out.

 

Some people are just not born athletes. I am one of them. I have tried all the sports I can think of, and I totally suck at them all. Everything from tennis to motocross racing. I wanted to be a good motocross racer SOOOOOO bad. I trained, dieted and practiced at the track for hours every week. I made good progress, but just not good enough to be all that competitive beyond the amateur beginner class.

My new sport is mountain bike racing. I have yet to race cause I'm out of shape. But I'm working on it. I have no desire to "win" anymore. I just want to have fun doing a sport I enjoy.

Maybe try to get her in some type of individual sport. That way there's no pressure from anyone but herself.

 

One thing that I did not see mentioned is rowing. If you are in Michigan there may be many rowing clubs in your area. She could row on a team, in a double or a single. Most rowing clubs just charge you a monthly fee which will allow you access to their boats. This is a good option as you don't have to be heavily invested in equipment only to find that your daughter has other interests. There is nothing like being out on the water. Sailing would also be a great option. You may also want to look to see if there are any outdoor clubs for youths in your area. When I was a kid our city park department offered a great program which exposed us to backpacking, rock climbing, cave exploring and canoeing. I wish you and your daughter the best.