My Grandfather is about to pass away

Well we're flying out tonight and i never thought i wouldn't be looking forward to seeing my family and going to England but i'm not. I really don't want to go. Not to mention i have other **** on my mind too which isn't making matters any better.

 

Sometimes life truly sucks. We got back from England 2 days ago. The funeral was nice and everything and i was glad to be back here. Dad got a call yesterday saying his father was very ill and so Dad flew out last night (same thing mum did. Same flight and everything) to be with him. We got a call this morning from dad and Grandpa has passed away. He had cancer and they couldn't treat it anymore. He was a heavy smoker when he was younger but gave up. Dad didn't make it to say goodbye. His flight was delayed and then diverted (i don't think he would have made it anyway). So, i'm picking mum up from the airport in a few hours because she stayed on to be with her mum and we're all going to have to go back to England in a week for my 2nd funeral for a grandparent in the past 3 weeks.


I'm not religious (practicing) but i was christened and everything and go to church over Christmas and Easter but never before in my life have i questioned my faith as much as i am right now. Everyone says that things happen for a reason or that its all part of a masterplan. Bull****

 

Mum just got back. Grandpa passed quietly and peacefully which is good. He just went to sleep and didn't wake up. Granny (his wife, my grandmother) was with him. Unfortunatley, both his sons (my dad and uncle) didn't make it too see him in time and my mum left his side 15 mins before he passed

 

Thanks