Here we go again, some girl advice needed..

This thread is for you!

http://ferrarichat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=162192

 

Wow Aaron, I wish you the best of luck. Because I am an anonymous internet figure I can afford the chance to be perfectly honest with you...

Simply put, she wouldn't have moved away or taken a job away from you if she was truly into you and really thought you were the one to marry. My college gf wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and was prepared to follow me half way around the globe for me and forgo her own desires. Second, her parent's response comes across as a bad sign to me. Their "If it's meant to be" seems like they are trying to hide you from the truth and are letting you down easy. Again, my current gf's parents are divorced and have both asked me twice on separate occasions if I could hurry up the process.

Now all that said, I don't want to "spook" you out and ultimately it is a private matter and no amount of internet advice will steer you one way or the other...just saying. That said I wish you much luck. I like the goth/punk thing too

 

Aaron, forget the other thread... It takes balls to go through with what you've planned... I say go for it. If things don't go well on the trip, then you'll know not to ask her at the end. But if things play out the way you see them in your heart, then you should definitely go for it. It'd be romantic after a trip like that and you don't ever want to be that guy who says, "what if I would've asked her..."

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

 

Do you know if she's dating and dated someone lately? Who would me moving for you to be together?
Agreeing on the trip with you is a good indication but if this comes as a total surprise maybe she'll freak out.
I hope it all works out but you probably should try to gauge her before you pop the question.

 

+1 !!!

I really think your stance on this is far more grounded than the average guy in your spot. I say do it, just roll with it. Your only helping yourself out by doing this, you won't have to wait to know your answer vs. dragging it out as long as possible.

And good idea on this thread, but ultimately don't listen to anyone who offers different of your own opinion. You seem past the point of debating, let positive and negative feedback motivate you even more.

 

In your gut you know the answer to this better than anyone.

Look at the bright side, if she says no you can pocket the ring money and save on the continental woo-ing trips...

If she says yes you will have the opportunity to argue over which city to live in... ahh, young love!

 

I have a sense that she really likes you but may not be in love. These things are not logical but emotional. It is important that both parties really want the same thing and it would be a mistake to sweep her off her feet with the big trip and then pop the question. Go on the trip , have a great time, talk it over when you come home and see what she says. The idea is to have a long term relationship and not just win her vote for a year or two. If you seem at all desperate she won't go for it. Just because you tried dating 5 girls that is still just a few. If this works out fine go for it. If not , there are 30 million more for you to try.

 

I say go for it. If she says "no" you've got one hell of a long, awkward flight back to the states, but hey, you are probably already aware of the risks.

From what you've said you seem like an intelligent, successful man. I don't think you'd do this if you thought it was a bad idea.

The only thing I see that's an issue is the fact that she moved away from you. That happened to my best guy friend. His gf moved away for a dream. I think that's selfish. If you really love someone you stay with them and look for other options. What's success if you don't have someone to share it with? It's possible she's had time to realize that she made a mistake and still loves you though, and I hope that's the case for your sake.

A sincere good luck to you!

 

She sounds like a great young woman.
So, who moves? You are both mid-twenties, at the critical start phase of work experience and establishing personal independance and self security (very important for smart women - and she sounds smart). Listen to your own last post - you are all about proving yourself as well and I am sure she is also. She certainly doesn't have any pressing practical reason to get married - in fact in a larger sense some would say it is counter productive at this age as she is proving herself.
Do you love each other enough that you would put the relationship before the career? Not her, you. If you will not, you must ask yourself how can you expect her to do what you will not. That is what she is going to think if not actually ask and test you, so think it through.
You've both chosen career before. What's different now? Commitment? A willingness to compromise, even? Did I mention you are both highly motivated, educated and ambitious twenty-somethings already?
As someone said, there are millions more women out there; she knows there are millions of more men - what makes you so special that NOW is the time?
I hope things work out for the best, but I know from hurtful experience that hope sometimes prevents folks from thinking things through from both sides.
Good luck!

 

i say, go for it. look at it this way, u have nothing to lose. but, u will have everything to lose if u don't pop the question now, and she ends up with someone else. thats pretty shiity then. all the best.

 

maybe, u can pretend to get a heart attack or something, start complaining about chest pains, and when she starts getting worried, then u can say, 'u know, i didn't know what i should do to get ur attention, and since i have ur attention now, i suppose all this pain will go away if u would marry me....'

 

If you don't ask you will never know, and you will always wonder.

 

John got it in one! Good luck - I hope she says yes, but at least if you ask her and she says no, you can then get closure and move on; and if you don't ask, you'll never know!

And don't worry about the flight home - you can ask for a seat at the opposite end of the plane to her if needs be...

 

Less likely to say no if you arm yourself with one of these...

http://www.tivol.com/

http://www.harrywinston.com

 

Aaron,

I don't know you or her, but I'll add an opinion to the mix.

What worries me most about your post is the circumstances under which your relationship has continued on over the past few years: occasional phone calls and expensive trips. I wonder - and truly not knowing the two of you or how you interact makes this entirely speculative - whether this has given the both of you a view of what can be called "real life" together. It is easy to 'love' someone you merely like while wandering the streets of Rome or shopping in Paris. Similarly, it is easy to overlook flaws and misinterpret signals when you're only talking once in a while.

It is difficult for me to tell how 'one sided' your relationship has been, but I can't help but wonder how much she calls/contacts you and whether she sees you as a friend who takes her on expensive trips.

I hope my suspicions are wrong and that her moving away is simply a product of her realizing that she needs 'time and space' to figure herself out before settling down forever. However, I have to wonder whether her decision to move away and teach in the inner city (Cincinnati has opportunities to do that) isn't the manifestation of something different. I've seen it happen more than once and been there myself -- a guy who is more into the girl than she is to him. Heartbreak inevitably follows.

As a wise woman once said to me, "I don't know" means exactly what it sounds like: "I don't. No."


I hate to put the damper on what would otherwise be a magnificently romantic gesture, but the fact that you have no idea what the outcome will be worries me. You should know the answer before you ask the question. (I'd feel better if the two of you were moving in the same direction life-wise before you took the trip.)

 

Aaron, obviously, good heads are on both sets of shoulders, and your heart is obviously in the right place. Given the amount of time you spent together before the sweet sorrow, I'm sure you got to know each other at what I call "room temperature" - not the "sizzle" of travel and so forth.

She had to set forth on her venture, or else, she would sit up at night wondering, "what if."

Now;

You have to ask her to be your ball and chain, or else, you'll be asking yourself "what if."

"If" she says "no," then;

it sure beats livin' on skidrow, drinking rotgut and wondering, "what if"

 

WOW, you plan to be near her IF she comes to you, but she has already planned to be away from you. If she really wanted you, it seems you two would have been having a long distance relationship. There are too many fish in the sea. Move on.

 

you say this like it's a bad thing

 

if she says no, IF, that is, i think u should be proud at the fact that at least u tried. i suggest, u take her to the movies, watch Rush Hour 3, and while both of u are laughing like hell, then pop the question ...........


















of cos i was jokin