Is marriage worth it, financially? (for men only)

Yeah I definitely got lucky. Financially, she is bringing more to the table, but I will be working for at least 1 year earlier than she is, so that is income that she will eventually see when it is put towards a house.

 

Odds are that this won't hold up, but it will probably increase the attorney's fees you'll pay when it finally gets done. I've been married for 37 years in February. What I see when people get divorced over and over again is that there are two areas to be concerned about: 1. Their own behavior, and/or 2. The selection process they use. The first is self explanatory, poor behavior, sooner or later produces the break up of the marriage. You can define what consitutes poor behavior many ways, but relfecting on behavior during the marriage will usually bring that to mind. We all have some of that, the toleratance of our spouses determines how long they'll put up with it. The second issue is what do we look for in our partners? Some of us don't realize that it is a partnership, and look very carefully at who we'd spend the rest of our life with. I've seen a lot of guys get totally taken by a lady's looks, forgetting that after a bit of time those looks will change, or you'll become accustomed to them.

Before you remarry, you might want to review the two points above, so that you don't end up with the same problem later down the road. I'm not trying to flame you here, but to point out how we tend to make the same mistakes over and over.

Art

 

Sweet. That's gotta count for something.(could be used as a tool to throw her off. The fact that things could now be more expensive in court might give here something to think about especially if she doesn't have a lot of money) So, think about it? She gets a free ride for the length of time she's living there and then runs off with some other guy and she's expecting the moon from you after? Somehow I would think that you could argue that the free ride was enough. Good luck with it.

 

For a guy who thinks her now lover might be on here you have diarrhhea of the mouth!

 

What's your next move, Bobby?

 

what i dont understand is why the girl takes half when they screw up?

 

The "system" is designed in the woman's favor so that couples are encouraged to stay together. A guy's tendency is to run around so if financially there's a disincentive to do so, then couples will stay together, have children, work for the man and keep paying taxes. It's also based on dated custom where the guy is supposed to be the bread winner. So, even if the woman screws up the guy is going to pay because that's how the system is set up. What happens though is that it backfires because now many guys look at it and think marriage isn't worth the risk.

 

stereotyping at its worst...and its encouraged by the government....what a crock of **** if you ask me. but then again, im sure u can counter sue and try to get your money back, or is it still in the girls favor.

ps.
my nefu's response: you could always just kill them and hide the body, no financial worries....just sayin

 

again, my nefu for the win here hehehe....
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marriage is a pointless excersize by which one person gets a pension, and the other has to support it. that marriage cert is not insurance, it should not be treated as such.

i have to say i have little to no respect for stay at home moms. my mom worked my whole life, i happened to survive without her, and i am not a superhero or anything. so motherhood is not a job, nor does it entitle anyone to anything. my mom was pure evil growing up, the one thing I knew for certain was to never involve her in anything unless i had to. like bill maher said, only in america do women have a baby and expect a f^cking medal. so what, my dog can have kids too.

side note: i love kids, kids love me. everyone says i will be an awesome father (if i don't have the vasectomy) but i know i don't need a ceremony to prove my love for anyone. i'd rather save the money for a wedding and put it in a trust fund for my kids.

i love college educated career women, not because they have their own money, but that they understand that value. they have priorities and know that responsibility to get what they want falls squarely on their shoulders and they do it by performning tasks, and not by exploiting others.

I do believe that it can work if you work at it though. the understanding upfront has to be that it may go wrong, both parties need to contribute, and that it would be unfair for one person to do all the work to support the partnership. as hard as it may be to ask for a pre-nup, nobody should be offended by it. so you get hurt at work, and her skill is denting couch cushions and spending your money. how is that going to keep the electricity on?

 

Rivee - got to challenge you here. Why do you think that YOU have to make right whatever you did? Why are you blaming yourself?

As you've presented to us (not intimately knowing the situation as well as you do), it sounds as if your wife took it upon herself to be break the vows of your marriage, then proceed to serve you papers thereby acting upon her own whims and desires.

It's true you didn't have a chance to respond or challenge the decision, but I hardly think you need to blame yourself and believe that YOU needed to make something right. On the contrary, I think your soon to be ex-wife had EVERY opportunity to take the initiative to talk this over with you and do the right thing, but she failed to do so.

Bob

 

I'm not a lawyer but if that is/was a trump card, why show it to the world? Maybe he's not on here today but, as an Fcar owner, how long do you think it will be until he is? It's just poor tactics....Remember the STFU advice? You know, it's just funny. Dave deletes that other thread to protect you (message read pending PM with Rivee) and then you go and open another one in the main section here......

 

Maybe not but why alert them to it with a neon arrow at the same time?

 

You sound like you have as good an attitude about it as you can and that's half the battle!

 

At least you realize the problem. I'd get some assistance before you make another decision regarding a wife. I'd take a little time, see what you are looking for, and what the flags are. I'd then find out exactly what you'd done or she thought you'd done to get her to that point. Not saying she's right, but you'd be getting her perspective. Then I'd get a little assistance, a counselor, and see what their take on it was or wasn't. After you've gone through those issues, you might be ready to be better in the marriage.

Just my thoughts.

Art

 

Only after I'm very settled financially will I consider getting married. Sounds like a bad idea, but my reasoning is for me.

 

rivee, been there done that. this pig has been lying to you since the time you said "I Do". she has been a lady in waiting for this moment to come for 13-14 years. long term marriage? you betcha she knows what that is. now she she's going to try and mop the floor up with you and your financial help. women like this make me sick. they should all be rounded up, fattened,(oops, most already are) and led into the slaughter house, just like the pigs they are. what gives this beyoch the right to come in and take ANYTHING from you? did she help you build your house? did she make mortgage pmts.? did she pay prop. taxes? did she help pay for mantainence? did you have kids by her?

someday she'll be sorry for this as these type things always come back to bite your a**.

 

I think marriage is worth it (great) with the right girl.........and it doesn't have to be a financial drain. If it is, probably wont last.......

It kids I'm not to sure about.....

Sorry about your situation. There are definitely some *****es out there.......... good luck

 

Yeah, but most guys will tell you as soon as you say 'I Do', she says 'Not anymore, you don't'.
At least nowhere near as much as when you were dating.

Fact.