Aussie joke thread

i thought about that...but it didn't seem to be the point.

 

I thought about it to but you were on a roll and i did'nt want to spoil you're fun plus i had to slap myself around for being wrong im still coming to terms with that issue.

 

Talk to moretti, he's got used to it.

 

when have I ever been wrong ??

 

I can't think of a time, but you'd better ask 355

 

Your choice of PPI?

 

Your choice of wives?

 

Wrong? - Never!
Slow? - Usually!

 

You must have forgot somewhere along the way that I AM a Motor Mechanic by trade and that I still work on cars.

I suppose alzheimer's happens to even the best of them........hey young fella?

 

correct

correct

you got out of the 308 class because I was getting decent tyres and was putting NOS in

 

it may be your trade...but you seem to know nothing about it!

 

Ah, yes. Well that is blatantly obvious!!

 

Ciao,

M
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A Kiwi buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After

several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant,

and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try

artificial insemination.



The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not

wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know

when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop

standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when

they are pregnant.



The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion

that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.

So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods,

has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.



Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they

are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't

take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to

the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back,

and goes to bed exhausted.


Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.

Try again." he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive

them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon

returning home, falls knackered into bed.



The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look

out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep

are lying in the grass.



"No," she says, "they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is

beeping the horn."

 

Being a kiwi I thought I'd heard them all waz. Thats a good one.

 

You're obviously a K1W1, that joke has to be 20 years old!

 

Thanks Horse.

Thats why we are making all the money over here.

You guys are so focused on hanging **** on us. We get on and do more important things.

 

Like the internet.

 

EY! It's serious Business!!

 

Fixed.

 

Why thankyou Horse.
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Exactly, what did you think I mean??

 

Fixed.

 

brett has zackery disease.

 

Really? I thought it was pretty rare?