Aussie joke thread | Page 24 | FerrariChat

Aussie joke thread

Discussion in 'Australia' started by stephens, Oct 17, 2005.

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  1. laminator

    laminator Formula Junior

    Dec 27, 2007
    928
    Reckon it'll be any good??
     
  2. Kelsa

    Kelsa F1 Veteran

    Jul 25, 2005
    5,376
    Adult Toy Land
    Full Name:
    Crazy Chinaman
    who knows. i think it'd be hard to fool people twice tho.

    Borat is still one of the funniest film i've ever seen. Rude, disgusting but cleverly done.
     
  3. laminator

    laminator Formula Junior

    Dec 27, 2007
    928
    I think if he could go from Ali G to me not even thinking about Ali G when watching Borat...I think he'll pull it off.

    If it's half as good as Borat then it'll be fantastic.
     
  4. dusk

    dusk Formula Junior

    Nov 8, 2005
    427
    Brisbane
    Full Name:
    Pete
    I've got a dog. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and was standing in line at the check-out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting 'The Meaty Bites Diet' again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

    Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food.

    I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me
     
  5. "Megan"

    "Megan" Formula Junior

    Jul 1, 2006
    317
    Sydney
    #580 "Megan", Apr 3, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  6. Horse

    Horse Three Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Dec 1, 2005
    35,421
    Brisvegas
    Full Name:
    Jon
    [QUOTE="Megan";137601687]Profanity warning - just for those who may be a bit sensitive to that kinda thing :D

    How to make a Gordon Ramsay Omlette[/QUOTE]

    It's my favorite TV show. :)
     
  7. JoeK

    JoeK Formula 3

    Aug 23, 2005
    1,080
    A lebo comes to Melbourne and after a couple of days he gets really ill, so he goes to the local doctor as tells the doc that he's been sick ever since he got here, doctor says ok i want you to take this bucket into the next room and **** in it them p!ss over the **** then i want you to inhale the fumes for 10 mins, so he does what he's told and goes back into the doctors office, doc says how do you feel now, lebo says i feel fine what was wrong with me, doc says you're just homesick.
     
  8. IanB

    IanB F1 World Champ
    Owner

    Jun 15, 2006
    16,245
    Sydney
    You know what Joek, I find that seriously racist & offensive. I hope Wax removes this quickly.

    Have you even been to Lebanon?
     
  9. JoeK

    JoeK Formula 3

    Aug 23, 2005
    1,080
    Mate it's a joke thread does it really matter if it's a leb, blonde,kiwi, midget, pom, etc.
     
  10. b27

    b27 F1 World Champ

    Oct 11, 2007
    15,781
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Brett
    Yes, probably could've got the same affect just saying a "bloke"........ rather than suggest a particular country.

    BTW, this would only be relevant if you were from Rotorua. :)

    p.s. for those who don't know, Rotorua is very smelly and often compared to smelling like rotten eggs. Its in NZ and has the mud pools. Lovely place though and would recommend anyone going to NZ to visit. Raced karts there a few times.
     
  11. ashsimmonds

    ashsimmonds F1 World Champ

    Feb 14, 2004
    14,385
    adelaide, australia
    Full Name:
    Humble Narrator
    [QUOTE="Megan";137601687]How to make a Gordon Ramsay Omlette[/QUOTE]

    That's f*cking gold! :D
     
  12. "Megan"

    "Megan" Formula Junior

    Jul 1, 2006
    317
    Sydney
    :D :D Love Gordon's show, he tells it like it is, no holding back :D

    Oooh, and I just discovered a way to get around the censors LOL <evil grin>
     
  13. ashsimmonds

    ashsimmonds F1 World Champ

    Feb 14, 2004
    14,385
    adelaide, australia
    Full Name:
    Humble Narrator
    [QUOTE="Megan";137602282]Oooh, and I just discovered a way to get around the censors LOL <evil grin>[/QUOTE]

    Welcome to banned-land....
     
  14. "Megan"

    "Megan" Formula Junior

    Jul 1, 2006
    317
    Sydney
    ooops, am I gonna get my butt kicked for posting that?? Yikes....:eek:
     
  15. ashsimmonds

    ashsimmonds F1 World Champ

    Feb 14, 2004
    14,385
    adelaide, australia
    Full Name:
    Humble Narrator
    [QUOTE="Megan";137602419]ooops, am I gonna get my butt kicked for posting that?? Yikes....:eek:[/QUOTE]

    not the fact that you know how to do it, but if you say something like pussy by circumventing them you might be....
     
  16. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
  17. ashsimmonds

    ashsimmonds F1 World Champ

    Feb 14, 2004
    14,385
    adelaide, australia
    Full Name:
    Humble Narrator
    CTMQ (chuckling to myself quietly)
     
  18. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
  19. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    looks like ash has moved brett's main mate's latest offering of brilliance to a private section of AE, so i'll quote it here, since it's so damn funny.

    some of you might remember when phil said that an F40 windscreen is the same as that of a 308. i looked up "same" on dictionary.com just to make sure i wasn't going crazy!

    he just said "I said they're the same, no more, no less. I didn't say they were identical. And I didn't say they weren't.

    they're the same.... in the same way that many things are the same, without being identical."

    now of course i'd be the last person to EVER accuse him of talking double dutch...but wtf is THAT about?
     
  20. Kelsa

    Kelsa F1 Veteran

    Jul 25, 2005
    5,376
    Adult Toy Land
    Full Name:
    Crazy Chinaman
    LOL
     
  21. jim501

    jim501 Formula 3

    Mar 29, 2005
    1,085
    Gold Coast
    You bringing posts across from another site again PP ;)
     
  22. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    errrrr..yes. so what? we all point to and/or quote many different articles/posts/photos/videos from other sites.

    maybe your question was rhetorical.
     
  23. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
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    Peter
    exactly!!

    where else would you post something like that except in the joke thread, hey?
     
  24. PAP 348

    PAP 348 Ten Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 10, 2005
    100,234
    Mount Isa, Australia
    Full Name:
    Pap
    A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - > she took the seat right beside him.

    "Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

    Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

    "Lecturer," she responded."I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

    "Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"

    "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."

    Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said..

    "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"

    "Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."
     
  25. Kelsa

    Kelsa F1 Veteran

    Jul 25, 2005
    5,376
    Adult Toy Land
    Full Name:
    Crazy Chinaman
    In your case it'd be

    "name's Papadopoulos, James Papadopoulos, but they call my PDaddy, or Pappy" :D
     

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