What Is Your Favorite Racing Funny Quote?

One announcer was telling how the media crews were in the hospitality suite during a practice when a reporter walked in and told them,
"It's started raining. If you don't get out there soon, you'll miss deCaesaris' crash."

Old rallye saying: If you're pointed where you're headed, you're too slow.

 

Best thread ever.

I think I'm going to copy all these quotes to a .doc file just so I don't forget them!

 

Attributed to Curtis Turner, but I don't know if he actually said it: "Drag racin' is sorta like masturbatin'....it's kinda fun to do but not much fun to watch."


Jack

 

Why would Schumacher say he drives around in circles though?

 

That would be sailboat racing. Sailboat racing is exactly like standing in a cold shower and tearing up hundred dollar bills. Wet, cold, expensive stuff.

 

According to my roommate; The last year of shumis career, I think it was his last race and they had a big ceremony for it but kimi was no where to be seen, when asked about his absence he responded with can be best translated as "I was busy making a sh**". That was sooooo funny. F1 drivers are amazingly arrogant and wonderful people.

 

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1136148580872612521&q=KIMI

 

"There are only two real sports: Motor Racing and Bull Fighting. Everything else is just a game." - Ernest Hemingway

 

I thought it was three. Mountain climbing.

Excellent thread BTW.

 

You're right. Thanks for the reminder!

 

Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.

Al Jr.

 

Enzo to a US customer who complained about the thin and poor manuals and documentation on his early 250 GT:

"We make cars, not books"


Enzo to a French customer who complained because he had measured his Ferrari and found that the body was longer on one side than on the other:

"That's not a problem, it's impossible to look at both sides at the same time"

 

Thank you. Because this quote has nuthin' to do with auto racing.

I heard it a little differently though. When a famous sail maker in the SF bay area retired after a million years in the business a local tv reporter asked him if he was going to miss it all.
"No, but if I ever want to experience it all again I'll just go stand in the cold shower, break my nose and start ripping up $100 bills".

This line must be as old as sailing itself ...

Bob S.

 

LoL!

 

It is a good thread, and kudos for even finding it! 2 1/2 years on...

 

Peter Sauber speaking about Robert Kubica.......

"He was once asked what three things he would take with him to a deserted island, and he answered: a racing car, tyres and gas."

http://en.f1-live.com/f1/en/headlines/news/detail/080630155100.shtml

 

Story told to me by a colleague some years ago. Having witnessed a GT car stop out on the circuit in a cloud of smoke and flame during a test session, my colleague asked one of the car's mechanics what the problem was..."Electrical fault" came the curt reply from the disappointed team member. "Electrical fault??!!" my friend questioned "it looks like a lot of damage for an electrical fault...?" Deadpan, the explanation came back "Yeah, it threw a rod out of the side and cut the wiring loom in half".

 

Emerson Fittipaldi, after (I believe) and Indy 500 in the mid or late 80's in an interview. He either failed to finish or didn't do so hot, and when asked why declared "All day long my Goodyear tires are $ hit" lol I could just imagine the meeting with his sponsor executives after that little remark

 

That was a great line and I think it was actually at the Michigan 500. Sam Posey asked him the question why he wasn't running well, and Emmo replied, "My Goodyears were **** all day."

 

Heinz-Harald Frentzen, 1998 French GP pre-race press conference:

Q. "Heinz-Harald, how is your condition following the big accident in which you were involved here during testing last week?"

HHF: "Thank you for asking, but I am feeling quite alright. I still have a slightly stiff neck, but it should be OK for the race. The accident happened when I was accelerating out of the Adelaide hairpin towards the Nurburgring chicane. The unfortunate thing was that when the car ran over the kerb a bollard got caught underneath the car, the front wing broke off underneath the car and I couldn't steer it or brake at all. I went head-on into the tyre wall. It was the heaviest impact which I have ever had in an F1 car. My neck is still a bit stiff. I guess it must be like swallowing a Viagra tablet and then having it stick in your throat."

 

"And it's a neeeeeew lap record"....

Tom Carnegie [I think] at the Indy 500 Qualifications more times than I can remember. Still gives me a warm chill.

 

One more from a Skip Barber instructor.

As Skip was driving a F5000 flat out in the rain he hits a water puddle and the car aquaplanes in a perfect 360 and keeps going.
After the race someone tells him that was the best recovery they had ever seen.
Skippy's response was to the effect of;
" Recovery ? Nah..., my mirrors were fogged and I just wanted to see who was behind me".