Things that make you realize you are getting older...

Strange how that works. I don't remember exactly when it happens, but I've never heard a little kid get up slowly and say, "Man, you can sure tell I'm not 4 anymore".

 

Have you started to fuss over weeds in your lawn yet? THAT is the day you become an old fart.

 

I use to live in the woods and mow my grass with a weedeater. Now I have a lawn. I told my wife, "I have a lawn now, if it ever looks like I might buy a van just shoot me".

 

I've started getting Botox.

I get called a MILF (even though I don't have kids).

My friend's little brother that I remember being born is now a physician.

I treat my dad to dinner instead of the other way around.

I find myself attracted to men that I used to consider old farts.

Time just keeps passing by faster and faster....ugh.

 

I use to be able to jump and grab the basketball rim at 10' high

Now I can only reach the bottom of the backboard

 

I'm not that old, but I remember when athletes used to be older than I was. Now they all seem younger. Same with models, actresses, etc.

 

Large balls of purple?

 

Whenever I see a movie with Mark Wahlberg in it I go, "Oooh, it's Marky Mark," and picture him dancing around in his underwear.

 

when you run out of friends and loved ones to bury.

 

I can relate to that feeling. I started dunking in 8th grade...by the 10th grade I could get my hand over the box on the backboard... Now, ONCE A YEAR on my birthday, I go out and see if I still "have it".... needless to say, the style is gone, and the lift is leaving me, but last year after an hour of warm up and laughs from my mother, sister, and fiancee', I got it in and felt it for a week. I'm not so sure that I will be able to get it in next year...

 

Realizing that 45 year old women don't find you attractive.

 

I saw a 20 year old girl kind of like the fashion model type in a Bad Brains Tshirt at the mall and I went up to her and told her I liked her T shirt and that The Bad Brains used to open for my band in DC. She said it was her dads shirt and she had no idea who they were. I felt like a creepy old guy.
Image Unavailable, Please Login

 

Paul Newman died.

 

That's bad????

Then there's hope for me!!

 

I wish, more like SLR (shrunken little raisins!) OUCH!

 

The year 2000 was 9 years ago . . .only took 8+ yars for that bank crisis thing to happen
Way too many people did not see The Beatles on Ed Sullivan Show live
Way too many people did not see the Moon Landing live
I could have bought a 250 GTO for $7,500 (almost as much a pipe dream as buying one now)
I wake up to pee at night and don't think to have a little action since I'm up
Digital communicators were part of Star Trek lore

 

instead of people asking for your Christmas gift list, they give you theirs.

 

"So, c'mon, Honey! *racks* Let's go get Nathan, Jr!"

"Never leave a man behind!"

[What's really sad is that in Arizona, there is a store called Arizona Furniture and not one person efforting there had even heard of Raising Arizona.
_____

I'm looking forward to attending my 50th H.S. reunion in another 20 years, just so I can taunt those who taunted me about wearing hearing aids.

 

Someone looked my in the eye and said "man, you're old!"

 

When your first place of employment had a company nurse on staff.

And I'm not that old.

Also...you know you are old when you never read benefits packages for fine print; they all had nice benefits without 300 pages of fine print and another 300 pages of exclusions.

 

It doesn't bother me that much if someone calls me an old man what bothers me is when the call me a Dirty old man.

 

The fact that my oldest daughter is a senior in High School really hit home. But, at 42 Im in better shape than I was at 32 and Im much happier. What really freaks me out is how friggin hot woman in their 40's and 50's are......They were old grandma's when I was a kid and now they're MILF's!

 

He'll get his turn-if he lives long enough. I used to complain about getting older until a friend twelve years older than I also looked me in the eye and said, the only guy who is not getting older is dead. I no longer complain.

 

Yeah I guess it beats the alternative.

 

Going out till 3 AM and waking up at 8 AM becomes a challenge


Antony