Maybe mad max can get GM involvement with a variation on the name "Union Auto". I think the only term we really want to see in F1 is BRM: "Bernie Retires Max".
absolutely awesome and I certainly will be waiting with "baited breath" for your announcement into the series on Friday...... you are planning on using the iPhone 3G aren't you? if you are unable to get Casey as your driver, you can always find someone else - place them in the car and with your latest technology load the circuit and from the pit wall exercise complete control of your F1 car - have you thought about replacing the plywood for wing structures with balsa wood since your suspension may be a tad on the heavy side - you definitely don't want to be excessively heavy - too bad your tires aren't Michelin as they have a Green Challenge and you could stand a very good chance of winning the award, perhaps you could try to get the rules away from a single tire provider..good luck Carol
Carol In keeping with the new "budget" Formula 1, we are personally responding to each of Scuderia Ferrari's fans and you Carol....you are the first one to contact us through FerrariChat, our new media component! In response, yes we are going with the 3G iPhone, now that the price has been cut to $99 for the 8GB. We have ordered 6 from Apple and hope that this will last the season, as the electronics are a big part of the F1 budget. We are testing compatability issues with the standard F1 ECU that was developed with Microsoft and feel that we can keep the boiler producing steam even if there is a blue screen occurance which enhances reliability. We have tested balsa for the wings in our wind tunnel (shop vac), but we are concerned about the balsa forest in Java and our green image, so local homemade plywood it is until futher notice, although, the more exotic particle board, OSB and masonite are being considered. Once we find a third wheel, on track testing can begin. As far as the weight of the suspension, we find the rebar lighter than the original solid axle I-beam design that we started with and we need to balance weight with reliability....just like that Garagista Colin Chapman did.....("hmmmm, too bad that wheel fell off, guess we need to add a wee bit....") As our first respondent, we would like to invite you to the unveiling of the Scuderia Ferrari F1 2010 "Craptastica". Stay tuned for more information as it comes available........
9/6/09 Dateline Maroonyellow, ITALY Greetings Scuderia Ferrari Fans! Great news on the preparation of the F2010 Craptastica for the 2010 F1 season (you Ferrari fans will shorten the name, just like you call the Scuderia a “scud”. We have sourced a fourth wheel for the car. Currently it has a snow tire on it, but the softer compound should be valuable as a rain tire. Currently, we remain under budget so far through the careful acquisition of components for the car (most are sourced at night). We have secured the services of a test driver, an important element in the development on any F1 car. She (yes, she and no it is not Danica) will be a great asset to the team. Milker Donut will be the Ferrari Test driver for the 2010 season. She comes with ****go sponsorship, paid for by Venaswuvian dictaster Yugo Chivas. This will be outside of the budget cap, so we are still on track be able to pay for the next wheel, limited testing and development. We are currently working with ****go to develop a special blend of fuel to assist with the ducting of all of the FIA hot air. This is taking the form of a highly classified high revving motive energy unit that utilizes a blend of oil and gasoline. A pull starter cord is used to initiate combustion. Currently this device is code named "the leafbloinni". Currently we can generate hot air wind speeds of 175 mph. We will be posting updates as more development takes place…….
Thank you for responding to my email via your new media component, I am thrilled to be your first contact. Thanks for your current update from your headquarters in Maroonyellow. I was glad to know that you spared the trees in Java and with your awesome wind tunnel you were able to test the various components to determine the best materials to use in your construction. Even moreso, I was most happy to read that you have secured that everso important fourth wheel and imagine that grip that it will provide if it still has those little silver things attached. You and the team should be applauded for keeping under the budget cap with the acquistion of your spare parts/components. Great move securing your new test driver and the benefits attained from that signing. Your fan friendliness is greatly appreciated from your fans. Please keep us updated on your current happenings with your F2010 Craptastica. What do you think your changes are for being accepted on Friday? Sincerely, "Craptastica" Fan
9/6/09 Dateline Maroonyellow, ITALY Scuderia Ferrari press officer interview with Milker Donut, 2010 SF Test driver : SF Press Officer: Milker, how excited are you to be joining a team with such a fantastic history in F1. While we know that they were only formed yesterday for the purposes of entering F1 before the MadMax deadline, it is fair to say that they can commandeer all of the original Ferrari history, is it not? Donut: For sure, I am excited to be joining the storied Ferrari F1 team. The FIA is certain that F1 fans are so dumb as to accept the trotting out of old F1 team names and believe that they have any tie to that history. For sure in the Americas, no one is willing to get up at 7 or 8 in the morning to watch a live broadcast. We don’t even race over “there”. SF Press Officer: What will be the best part of being a test driver for Scuderia Ferrari? Donut: Well, for sure it is a great career move for me. Especially with the FIA banning almost all testing. I am able to be paid to not test the car. Untried and untested pieces can be slapped on the car on Friday with the hope that they will not fall off and injure our first and second drivers. I certainly hope that does not happen, as the team might then come to me and ask me to race. SF Press Officer: Milker or if you prefer Ms. Donut, do you find the FIA tactics relative to the 2010 rules to be acceptable. Donut: Oh of course. It is critical for the FIA to make unilateral rule changes without the consent or consultation of any of the teams, but then require the teams to enter unconditionally to discuss any changes to the proposed rules. SF Press Officer: Milker, last question. Do you think that former pitlane commentator now turned team owner Peter Windbag can come up with a car for the 2010 season? Donut: For sure, if Team Ferrari can do it, so can Windbag. We feel that we can do all of next season well under the 40 Million euro cap. Being partnered with Chitgo is an asset for us, but I am sure that USF1GPE or whatever they are called can do it too. There are many good aero specialists in North Carolina…..I mean how else do you get a NASCRAP brick to go almost 200 mph! SF Press Officer: Milker, thank you for your time and all of us at Ferrari wish you the very warmest welcome. We look forward to hearing your response when Windbag puts a mic in front of you and says, "Live on WeedChannel in America, best of luck". Donut: Oh can't wait....when pigs fly!
I have got to say it's just getting better ^ and in a way it is so true very clever Ney.. and very funny. Oh do us a favour when you see Max tell him : "Sod Off and if I ever see you again, it will be a billion years too soon." I'am with Carol another avid Craptastica Fan..
Good to see you're mellowing out Steve. I'm waiting for the return of the Cyclops team. Any one have any Martini signs?
LOL.. Just great here Dave really.. Just when I get home it will be bills, bills, bills. One is born, one runs up bills, one dies. Dave, sometimes I feel like a pelican - whichever way I turn, I've still got an enormous bill in front of me...
The BM Palace has condemned the maroonyellin management action in acquiring wheels, citing the move as a waste of capped budget money, news agency bald.de has revealed. Since Bernie will impose a "Gold, Silver, Bronze, Tin" medal system for 2010, teams won't be permitted to use their own wheels. Cars must run on the four medals, with a different "compound" on each corner. Any medals won in previous races must be removed from the car, in order to make the competition closer. After winning four medals, cars will be required to compete without any wheels at all. Due to a breakdown in "negotiations", there will be no tire supplier for 2010 -- the medals themselves will likely provide good enough traction for the cars actually running in 2010. A forthcoming hearing in Pairarse will determine the appropriate penalties for the maroonyellow team for making a purchase decision without asking "mother may I" first. (The 2010 rules will be completely revised as a bathroom break agenda during that hearing.)
Craptastica: Light the blue touch paper and stand well back. Image Unavailable, Please Login (Via http://www.ferrarichat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=186700 and http://www.ferrarichat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=246115) http://www.hemmy.net/2008/02/27/full-scale-matchstick-f1-car/[url]
It might get confusing in 2010 between "Ferrari" and another other new team, "Furrari". Especially since pit stalls are now going to be assigned alphabetically. Although insiders say Team Furrari will be easily distinguishable due to its heavy reliance on rodents and other various four-legged mammals to fill out its crew. The cost savings are expected to be significant as most of the crew can forage for their own food and sleep outdoors. Although initial testing was brought to an early halt when, tragically, a feline mechanic was discovered to have climbed beneath the engine cowling to take a nap...
10/6/09 Dateline Maroonyellow, ITALY Scuderia Ferrari is compelled to respond to recent rumors and alleged spy shots of our F2010. The pictures shown are not of our entry into the 2010 Formula 1 Championship, (although we are flattered, because it looks darned good). See: http://www.pitpass.com/fes_php/pitpass_news_item.php?fes_art_id=38150 We believe that this is the Lotus Lite/Lolita entry (note the steel space frame). The suspension looks to be a clear copy of the 1960 Milliken MX1 Camber Car and we will likely protest this car once the season begins as it is using stolen technology. This should lead to a whole season of inquiries, meetings in Paris and F1 fans not knowing who is really in the running for the Championship until well after it is over on track. We feel that this adds intrigue to the season and drives current fans away in droves and actively discourages new fans. More information to come later
10/6/09 Dateline Maroonyellow, ITALY Scuderia Ferrari is currently developing an all-new paddle shift system for the F2010 Craptastica and despite all of the difficulties between the teams and the FIA reported in the regular media, we are working quite closely on this with MadMax Hosiery, Head Muckety Muck of the FIA. We feel that our use of a wooden paddle for the shift mechanism is what attracted him to this project. Three German engineers, all female, have been working behind closed doors with MadMax, and we expect great results to come out of his involvement. These three engineers have all come from the prestigious Sieghiel Institute of Technology of Berlin. SF Test driver Milker Donuts has been in and out of the development chamber acting as a consultant and giving driver input on the system. Currently the paddle shifter mechanism is some three feet long, but we hope to scale it done as the season progresses, although MadMax questions the effectivness of the smaller paddle. More on this as we can reveal .
I wonder if Max will interject his vast knowledge of whips and chains due his years of personal experience. Could be the secret the team is needing.
11/6/09 Dateline Maroonyellow, ITALY So much is going on here at the new Scuderia Ferrari, as we are in London at the Big PowWow. We are very concerned that the other Ferrari team may be trying to take away our great heritage (that we earned 3 days ago through our unconditional entry into 2010 F1). If this actually happens, our entity will immediately move to a new role with the Ferrari Classiche Department, certifying cars that we remanufacture for massive sums as real and claiming anything that we did not make as a fake. Of course we will happily rebuild those for a price as well. Latest news is that Dirty Heckledstones has agreed to hand over more of the TV revenue. This is good for our team, but means less revenue for his ex wife Slurpica Manhands Heckledstones. MadMax Hosiery has taken a break from the paddleshift development chamber and limped over to our meeting. He continues to bang on about the budget cap, but no one has figured out how this might be enforced, so all of this is just silliness and posturing before it blows up again on Friday and F1 as we know it continues to be a bunch of frustrated lawyers arguing about what words mean. Negotiations with potential lead driver Casey Chapparelman are ongoing. As soon as he can sell the Lola Bodied McKee, he will have enough funds to place the deposit to pay for his test drive with Ferrari. Miker Donuts is off doing sponsor appearances with Chitgo at the moment. We expect her back training in the pedal car later this week after she recovers from additional Collagen injections. Development work on the F2010 Craptastica has been delayed, due to all of the FIA/FOM/FOTA meetings. The bright side of this is that our supply of hot air and gaseous wind will be abundant throughout the year. In addition, the pull cord on the leaf bloinni broke, so extensive re-engineering of that critical component is underway by our crack design team and the wind tunnel is in use cleaning up overflow from the washing machine. More to come later
