Please forgive: Dead batt, stupid ?s.

Apologies up front. Searched the other day and couldn't come up with anything specific to my problem--although I did come up with a lot of good info that is a near miss...

Background: My car ('05 575) has been parked in a cool (cold here but not where you live) garage for months. I've been driving it off and on as Seattle weather allows. The last time I drove it was on Sat, 1/23 and everything was fine. Parked it and then, the next clear day I was able to was Sat, 2/6, only two weeks apart. Key clicker gets no love from the car--no beeps, door locks don't open, nothing. Opened the door with the key. It's deader than a doornail. I take out the owner's manual and find out about the batt kill switch. Turn it off and pull the cables. Call FoSeattle and talk to my guy there. I pull the cables off the batt (noticing a hidden battery tender I did not know was there.) Put a charger on it and the charger is reading 50% charged at 2amps, deep cycle immediately. I let it sit for at least 5 hours and the meter is still pinned at 50% it won't even turn an overhead light on. I do get an eardrum breaking screech when I hook the cables up (Whassup wif dat?)

I mean, I don't think I've ever seen a car battery this dead. So, here's the question. When I back into the garage I hug the passenger side up pretty tight to the wall. So, of course, I can barely get into the gap to do any work. Plus, I'm not a contortionist any more and I don't see all that well. Can someone tell me how many mounting points the reservoir in front of the battery--which must be removed to pull the batt--has? I can see one, but don't know if there are others that I can't see or feel. I read here not to remove the hoses, just the rez itself. I want to pull the battery, get it into FoS for a test and a charge---if it will charge---or a new battery. I realize I can push the car out of the garage and will when it is time....but I still don't think I can crank my head around to see how that damn rez is bolted in.

Also, what is that damn screech and what could this be besides the battery?

Thanks, gents. Any other ideas you might have would be welcome.

 

Thanks, gents. Taz, That's the Interstate that's in the car and the one I aim to replace it with. Gotta pull the rez (well, loosen it) either way. Just trying not have a tow.

 

All good. Installed a new Interstate today and back to normal. The mounting points for the reservoir are hidden under the shroud that covers the fuses, etc just inside the passenger side fender fore of the battery. Held down with thumbscrews. It's easy, once you know the secret.