Amusing series of emails from a scammer..

I put a car on Autotrader on behalf of an Aunt, typically I get a bunch of scam emails, one of which developed....

Anyone car to suggest a suitable reply???

Dear Seller,

I was fortunate to spot your advert on the net and I like to know if it is still availabe for sale . if available,please get back to me with the following enquiries:
Are you the first owner:-
Your last price -
present condition-
Also the pics-
where are you based-
why did you intend to sell


Having spotted this as a scam, my reply:-

Hi I have revised the price to £15,000 as it was much too cheap

I am the 22nd owner

Car is basically sh$t

I'm based in Cambelwick green, near Trumpton

I intended to sell because its a ringer, catagory d right off and smells of urine

Regards

Not to be put off the intrepid purchaser forges on:-

Hello,

Thanks for the mail and for the advice but i just want you to understand that am okay with your asking price but i want you to understand that my customer made it clear to me that he can only make the payment by bank draft or personal cheque and we will wait for the bank draft or personal cheque to be clear in your bank before making any arrangement for the transport and You have to note that the shipping payment will also be added to the actual amount and this will be handled by my shipper so you dont need to worry about the shipping . if you are okay with this arrangement just send me your full details in your next mail ..

Name (has to be issue on the cheque):
Address:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Country
Phone(Home,Mobile,Office):
Last Price:

I wait to read all this from you so that the cheque can be sent down to your destination...
Cheers

Cutting to the chase eh? Well take this:-

Hello,

if you insist on send in a cheque I will have to increase the cost to £20,000. Please confirm this is acceptable

Please make the cheque to:-

Mr Chippy Minton
12 mainstreet
Cambelwick green
Trumpton
TO5 5ER
I will need cleared funds before your shipper contacts me.

And finally a tale of tragedy, luckily he still wants my car...

Good day ,

How are you and your family too?
First and foremost am very sorry for not contacting you for a while concerning the purchase of your {CAR}.The reason is that,my mother-in-law was shot dead by a neighbor over a small argument ,and that was what i and my wife have been dragging with the murderer in the court to make sure that this guy my face the consequence of what he has done.And thanks God everything is being settle by the court yesterday.
And concerning the {CAR} am buying from you,am still interested in it,really the cheque supposed to have been delivered to you but i told my client to stop sending it because i wont be able to follow it up due to this incidence.So i have instructed my client yesterday to proceed with sending of the cheque to you,and i make sure they have done that in my presence.
Therefore, the payment shall be deliver to you next week sure of that , Please all i am after is my awesome {CAR}.
Not to forget, as soon as you get the payment, get back to me so that i could inform the Shipping Agent to get ready for the pick-up ASAP. I desire no more avoidable delay at all in this transaction.
Thanks for holding on. And have i thanked you for selling to me?
Well, thanks a lot and here's my appreciation!
Cheers

P.S.......get back to me as soon as you get this mail so that i can be rest assured that you get my mail.
Cheers