Bar/Lounge Etiquette

This is awesome.

I'm self employed so I sometimes just say I don't have a job and the conversation switches gears pretty quickly.

 

This is my general response. Usually stops the line of questioning pretty well.

- Paul

 

I used that line recently (at a new barber shop). It got a chuckle but was quickly followed by another career question to which I replied "nothing". Again, another question asking if I'm retired - to which I answered "yes". That was followed by some other comment about must have done alright or something like that which I, by now totally pissed-off and stone faced ignored. Can't people take a hint?

 

I've wondered about that one as a conversation stopper.

IRS story: Friend invites a friend who is an IRS agent to his son's Bar Mitzvah. On a smoke break or something he sees the IRS man out in the parking lot with a small notebook in hand writing down details of the cars the guests drove to the event. He walks over and confronts the guy with a "what are you doing?" and the guy has the balls to respond that he's taking down the information in order to run the plates and find out "what these people do for a living". Needless to say he was told to leave the event and they've not spoken since!

 

Guys come on, you're thinking way to far into this. It's really rather simple, If it's a guy asking you he's mearly trying to find where he stands with you. Top dog kind of thing. Just what ever you do, don't, and I mean don't tell them you work in IT.

 

A: What do you do for a living?

B: Business...I mind my own.

 

There was a time when this sort of question was considered rude everywhere other than in America.
Now everyone everywhere seems to feel it is their right to know other people's business.

 

Why's that?

 

Everyone has computer issues or they think you want to talk about the latest device or that you want to help them clean virus/malware off of their computer. The worst is someone who thinks they know a lot about computers and then tell you all about his powerful Dell inspiron laptop that in reality is a total pos. Personally, when I'm not working, I don't want to talk about work.

 

I am always asked that at the poker or BJ tables, depending on who is asking my usual response is "I spend 6 months of the year minding my own business and the other 6 months staying out of everyone elses".

 

Exactly. And if it's a woman, she's trying to sort you as relationship material. Although I've used "what do you do?" to get the person in conversation to talk about [everyone's] favorite thing: themselves. For the most part, as an ice breaker I find it innocuous. Then again I'm a lawyer which is a "socially respectable" career - something your mom wants you to be.

It's not the same as "how much do you make?" which *is* too far, even though the career thing can sometimes be used to sort classes.

PS: Lawyers even have their own version of this: "Where did you go to law school?"

 

My standard answer is:

I sell drugs.

It's true.

 

Your Jag's plate should be SELDRGS

 

Business is good. Jags gone, driving an MB now.

 

Too funny. Mine's 'I make drugs'. With all the attrition, we may work for the same supplier...

 

I tell them my job is being an elf. It's true but they think I'm being a smart azz so they just stop.

 

I agree that I don't mind the question. (Though "how do you spend most of your time?" is better). It's the reply after I tell them I just finished law school that makes me cringe. I get:

1. "That's a shame. You seemed like such a nice girl."
2. "Well you'll have no problem charming the judge."
3. comments involving pencil skirts

 

I've often replied "gun runner"...stops the conversation cold. Best used sparingly or in situations of last resort. Generally perceived as anti-social behavior.

 

I strongly believe that asking someone about their occupation at first meeting is inappropriate. I think very few want to find common ground. Most people (usually women) are looking to measure you up. I think it is even worse now because of how bad the economy is. I would never want to ask someone what they do and have to see them put their head down and say I was laid off or fired. People should respect other people's privacy and want to get to know you, not WHAT you do.

 

Well said

 

I agree with Brad. Sometimes you just want to get out of the room, have a few drinks, people watch and relax. Who the hell wants to talk about work when they may have had a long day or week of it? And usually you're not at a bar to "network". I think if met someone at chat for a while, then you can ask about them. However, not a first question. What happen to "How's it going?", "Nice place. You come here often?", or "What are you drinking this evening? Would recommend it?" Better, more friendly ways to break the ice than "What do you do?".

 

yeah, if I had a nickel for everytime someone saw the car and asked what I did for a living....

I usually steal the Fletch line......... "I'm a shepherd"

 

I'm usually pretty good a reading people, and the kind answer I give to ANY question rides on that.

"How ya Doin'?" can get you a "Fine", "Great", or other user friendly answer if you seem "normal". If you come off like a jerk something along the line of "Without...This Hopey Changey stuff ain't workin' for me" might come flying out.

"What do you do?" I really don't mind as it is pretty innocuous, BUT... If I think the questioner is a jerk I'll probably blow smoke up his/her arse just for my own entertainment while testing their IQ. It can be fun to see if someone is as dumb as they are rude and most of the time the intellect/jerk ratio runs pretty even.

"How much do you make" is a conversation ender, period, no exceptions. If I'm sipping a glass of Scotch or a nice Black Brewskie the last thing I'm interested in is being profiled by someone who is an obvious *********, and you don't ask a question like that unless you are.

If I am absolutely certain that the would be conversationalist is a complete jerk I might tell them I'm a Research Scientist in search of participants in a new Rectal/Cranial Inversion Study and ask them if they would like to participate. (This is a lot more fun within easy earshot of the barkeep) If they are dim witted enough to think that is interesting I'll explain that it is a study to measure the effects of long term Oxygen Deprivation caused by the Sphincter Muscle being too tightly wrapped around the Spinal Chord... If that doesn't flip their dimmer switch, I'm off to the head and looking for the door

 

I've told someone I'm a porn star when asked that question. I figure if it's not someone you really care to get to know you can tell them anything.

And while I'm shocked initially to hear people actually ask how much you make, I guess it really shouldn't shock me. I knew a guy that in EVERY conversatin I had with him it always involved how much money he was making at the time, how much he potentially could make with the new thing he was going to do in his career, and then him asking me how much I'm making. I would just tell him "my income varies."

 

Very funny.

I trust you've not met many hot chicks who are mesmerized about pressurized aluminum pipe.