Two friends are fishing near a bridge. Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head. When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing. His mate turns to him and says, " Dave, that's one of the nicest most respectful things I've ever seen " Dave replies, " Well we were married for nearly 20 years "
Some people take the internet WAY too seriously. **hint hint** Check out this legend in the 458 section. http://www.ferrarichat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=322410&page=3
and some people like to enjoy an intelligent conversation, with occasional wit and reparte. None of which we get from your daily avalanche of posts. Nobody likes to wade through spam, reposts and 3rd hand opinions with zero basis in direct experience. Like the man said, post count does not equal credibility and you should consider posting less and thinking more.
Man in hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?" Nurse raises his gown, holds his dick in one hand & his balls in the other, she takes a close look & says, "There's nothing wrong with them Sir." Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her & says very slowly, "Thanks 4 that, it was lovely but listen very very carefully, "Are-my-test-re-sults-back?"
Short love story A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.' 'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.' 'Wow!........................ That's a great idea!',he exclaimed. 'Good,' she replied.. ................'Get your own ****ing blanket.' After a moment of silence, ......................he farted. The End
Here's something for you to enjoy if you have teenage children. http://www.theage.com.au/tv/show/whatever-science-of-teens/sex-20100814-124jx.html Good luck.
Guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a Bin Laden. Bartender says he never heard of it, how do you make it? "Two shots and a splash of water
Walking Eagle On a recent trip to the United States , Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia, addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians. She spoke for almost an hour on her plans for Carbon Trading Tax for Australia . At the conclusion of her speech, the crowd presented her with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle. A very chuffed Ms Gillard then departed in her motorcade, waving to the crowds. A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Ms Gillard. They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of **** that it can no longer fly.
Check this out: This year we are going to experience four unusual dates: 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11, and that's not all; Take the last two digits of the year you were born and the age you will be this year and the result will add up to 111 for everyone!!!! This is the year of MONEY. Also, this year, October will have 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays & 5 Saturdays. This happens only once every 823 years. These particular years are known as Moneybag years. The proverb goes that if you send this to eight good friends, money will appear in the next four days, as is explained in the Chinese feng shui. Those who don't continue the chain, won't receive. It's a mystery, but it's worth a try. Good luck to you. So.....I've now sent it to thousands on FChat, let the money roll in!
Went for a routine checkup yesterday. All was going fine until he stuck his index finger up my a***. Do you think I should change dentists?
ROFL. I have a dentist appointment this morning. Hopefully he was trained at a different elsewhere from your chap.
