Met two hot chicks from Thailand last night. Bought 'em some drinks, a little chit-chat, and they told me this was my lucky night, and it was going to be like winning the lottery. They were right, too - we went to my place, we all got naked, and I found out we had six matching balls.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''
Maybe not so funny http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/2012/11/06/05/37/plane-crashes-into-four-wheel-drive
Poor camera position in Carcassonne today, got this guy outside a Dan rather than a BAR Image Unavailable, Please Login
not aussie but funny A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British soldier selling regimental ties. The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?" The soldier replied, "There is no water, the well is dry. Would you like to buy a tie instead? They are only £10 The Taliban shouted, "You idiot infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!" "OK," said the soldier, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that, and that I am a much better human being than you. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find our Sergeant's Mess. It has all the ice cold water you need. Inshallah. Cursing him, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, collapsed with dehydration & rasped......" They won't let me in without a fu*king tie!
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.' While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son... 'Go get your Mother'
France cleaned out the Aussies a few minutes ago in the Rugby - thats the game played world wide. Not like AFL where they just play with each other.