Aussie joke thread | Page 148 | FerrariChat

Aussie joke thread

Discussion in 'Australia' started by stephens, Oct 17, 2005.

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Page 148 of 371
  1. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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    I'll shout you Peter. How much could 3 or 4 grains of rice be?
     
    FazzerPorscheman, Jan 25, 2014
    #3676
  2. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ BANNED

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    Would you mind shouting me the return air fare as well please?
     
    Aircon, Jan 25, 2014
    #3677
  3. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
    FazzerPorscheman, Jan 26, 2014
    #3678
  4. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ BANNED

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    *groan*
     
    Aircon, Jan 26, 2014
    #3679
  5. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ BANNED

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    Aircon, Jan 28, 2014
    #3680
  6. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
    FazzerPorscheman, Jan 28, 2014
    #3681
  7. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ BANNED

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    finally.....after all these years.....a joke that was funny!
     
    Aircon, Jan 28, 2014
    #3682
  8. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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    Don't you ever sleep?
     
    FazzerPorscheman, Jan 28, 2014
    #3683
  9. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ BANNED

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    Waste of time.
     
    Aircon, Jan 28, 2014
    #3684
  10. Horse

    Horse Three Time F1 World Champ Owner Silver Subscribed

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    He can't afford to.
     
    Horse, Jan 28, 2014
    #3685
  11. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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    Not at his age anyway. ;)
     
    FazzerPorscheman, Jan 28, 2014
    #3686
  12. jmillard308

    jmillard308 F1 Veteran Owner

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    The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
    Here are the winners:

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

    2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******.
    3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid

    7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

    9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
    (This one got extra credit.)

    11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

    12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

    15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and
    cannot be cast out.

    17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
     
    jmillard308, Jan 28, 2014
    #3687
  13. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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    6. Almost sounds familiar. :)
     
    FazzerPorscheman, Jan 28, 2014
    #3688
  14. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ BANNED

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG6K5hbPJKs]Completely Honest Guy - Completely Honest OBGYN - YouTube[/ame]
     
    Aircon, Jan 28, 2014
    #3689
  15. kerrari

    kerrari Two Time F1 World Champ

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    Very familiar to many blokes I'm afraid...
     
    kerrari, Jan 29, 2014
    #3690
  16. kerrari

    kerrari Two Time F1 World Champ

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    kerrari, Jan 29, 2014
    #3691
  17. gurslo

    gurslo Formula 3

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    In a scene when his brother comes home bragging he just had sex twice that morning. Once before he was awake,
    Charlie responds, "A 22 year old is like a good carpenter...no wood wasted."

    (Charlie Sheen in, Two and a half men)
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2014
    gurslo, Jan 29, 2014
    #3692
  18. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
    FazzerPorscheman, Jan 30, 2014
    #3693
  19. F106SJ

    F106SJ Karting

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    Nice. How long did that take to knit?
     
    F106SJ, Jan 30, 2014
    #3694
  20. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ BANNED

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    I like it. Make sure it's ready in time for GG thanks.

    I just thought of something......How come Horse came up with the name GG?? Can't just be a coincidence. Is it just a way of him making sure we're always talking about him?
     
    Aircon, Jan 30, 2014
    #3695
  21. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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    Got Gonorrhoea.

    Too much? :(
     
    FazzerPorscheman, Jan 30, 2014
    #3696
  22. Horse

    Horse Three Time F1 World Champ Owner Silver Subscribed

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    STFU

    Too much?
     
    Horse, Jan 30, 2014
    #3697
  23. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ BANNED

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    Does anyone else get a sick feeling when they mention Phil Hughes on the news?
     
    Aircon, Jan 31, 2014
    #3698
  24. simon klein

    simon klein Two Time F1 World Champ Owner

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    Only you......and Moretts
     
    simon klein, Jan 31, 2014
    #3699
  25. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
    FazzerPorscheman, Jan 31, 2014
    #3700
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