Aussie joke thread | Page 154 | FerrariChat

Aussie joke thread

Discussion in 'Australia' started by stephens, Oct 17, 2005.

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  1. gurslo

    gurslo Formula 3

    Feb 25, 2008
    1,524
    Connecticut
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    Peter
    This would be better if the author didn't hold back and let them know how he felt.:)

     
  2. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
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    Peter
    Daddy Peter?
     
  3. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Nov 1, 2003
    59,756
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    I use to work with a guy who was a hacker for fun, then he left the company and went out on his own selling his "services" to banks with the disclaimer that no matter what he did they couldn't prosecute him ........... he would have been the last person I would have trusted breaking into my bank :eek:
     
  4. VIZSLA

    VIZSLA Four Time F1 World Champ
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    Jan 11, 2008
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    David
  5. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Nov 1, 2003
    59,756
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    Full Name:
    John
  6. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    #3832 Aircon, Feb 25, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  7. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Nov 1, 2003
    59,756
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    oh come on, Charlotte's a lot better looking than that :)
     
  8. simon klein

    simon klein Two Time F1 World Champ
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    Feb 25, 2009
    29,934
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    simon klein
    That used to be my local racetrack,BHR,not the boat.
     
  9. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
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    Peter
    #3835 Aircon, Feb 27, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  10. wrxmike

    wrxmike Moderator
    Moderator Owner

    Mar 20, 2004
    7,676
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    Mike
    A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he has squandered all of his money.

    He calls home.

    'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing...they actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.'

    'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'

    'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll get him in the course.'

    So his father sends the dog and $2,000.

    About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

    'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.

    'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm... But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read.'

    'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?'

    'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.'

    The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem.
    At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.

    So he shoots the dog.

    When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

    'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!'

    'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal.

    Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still bonking that little redhead barmaid at the pub?'''

    The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your Mother!'

    'I sure did, Dad!'

    'That's my boy!'

    The kid went on to be a successful lawyer with Slater and Gordon.
     
  11. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

    Jul 28, 2010
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    EnzoFerdinand
  12. kerrari

    kerrari Two Time F1 World Champ

    Oct 22, 2004
    24,054
    Coolum Beach AUSTRALIA
    Full Name:
    Karen H.
  13. Nereus

    Nereus Rookie

    Dec 18, 2010
    44
    Tasmania
    There was a "solution" to this problem called the "Australia Card"; can't remember why now it didn't get up, as the advantages are clear to all!
     
  14. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
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    Peter
    #3840 Aircon, Feb 27, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  15. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Nov 1, 2003
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    Didn't the electric cord running out the door give her a hint :p
     
  16. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
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    Peter
    #3842 Aircon, Feb 28, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  17. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
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    Peter
    #3843 Aircon, Feb 28, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  18. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

    Jul 28, 2010
    15,291
    Piz Gloria
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    EnzoFerdinand
    #3844 FazzerPorscheman, Mar 3, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  19. greg246

    greg246 Two Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 2, 2004
    26,741

    OLIO
     
  20. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Nov 1, 2003
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    John
    it reflects badly on the producer of the magazine :p
     
  21. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
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    Peter
    Here we go again.
     
  22. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Nov 1, 2003
    59,756
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    you mean they use that magazine for toilet paper ?? :confused:
     
  23. kena

    kena Formula 3

    May 20, 2007
    1,607
    Salt Ash
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    Ken Abrahams
    " It's only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles

    that you realise that there is always a way to solve

    problems without resorting to violence. "
     
  24. Horse

    Horse Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Dec 1, 2005
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    Jon
    Time to get dressed now Ken!

    ;)
     

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