(One for Gezim) My car works perfectly one day, then won't work at all the next, then works perfectly the day after that, and so on - what's wrong with it? "It's your alternator"
THE HINGE Charlie was installing a new door And found that one of the hinges was missing. He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Bunnings and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom Tap. When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that Bath Tap?" The manager replied, "That's a gold plated Bath Tap and the price is $3450.00. Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive Tap, It's certainly out of my price bracket." She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one. From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?" Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the Bath Tap.” ....This is why you can't send women to Bunnings.
This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one. "Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks. "Boy," is the man's response. "Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there", says the service guy. An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions: "Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on him." The man asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?" The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua."
As the ATC said to a woman at Mt Pleasant one time when she said she could hear the F111 flying near her but not see it ........ look down, they're on TFR
Anyone angry? Why do pirates say 'arr'? And why would anyone shiver in their timbers? http://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-09-19/international-talk-like-a-pirate-day-preserving-old-languages/11527148
There is nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this guy handled it. A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. ' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??' 'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?' 'I can't piss out of it,' he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter... Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose....(yep, sure are)
LOL,fer fecks sake....you can't beat the Irish.. .23 it starts turn the sound up a bit. https://www.9news.com.au/world/funeral-prank-video-irish-man-speaks-from-beyond-the-grave/dc5defae-bb20-4260-92f8-891426cb9289
https://www.facebook.com/sherri.croucamp/videos/10157835248674310/UzpfSTEwMDAxMjcxMDUzMzgyMTo4MTkzNTUyOTg0OTgxNDc/
