How can I justify a Ferrari to my wife. | Page 4 | FerrariChat

How can I justify a Ferrari to my wife.

Discussion in 'Ferrari Discussion (not model specific)' started by Simon99, Jan 4, 2021.

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, Skimlinks, and others.

  1. ferrariwithsnowtires

    ferrariwithsnowtires Formula Junior

    Dec 17, 2005
    545
    Vacations are a mix of life experience, a break from rat racing and time with family.
    The Rolex has some experience aspect and more permanent possession component.
    With the car, convincing your wife you will part with it some day and get a chunk of change back comes with a question from her, aren’t you going to go get something else to drive and spend some more?
    With an older Ferrari, you may have unexpected repairs that keep the car off the road and come with 4 to 5 figure outlays, then you get to explain that to your wife. No news here, but part of the landscape.
     
  2. Nospinzone

    Nospinzone F1 Veteran

    Jul 1, 2013
    7,346
    Weston, MA
    Full Name:
    Paul
    Reading all this I am just so thankful for my wife. When I thought about getting my first Ferrari my wife could not have been more supportive. She knew I always wanted one and she was happy that I bought one.

    I still have it and one time I was musing that maybe I would sell it. She put her foot down and said no way. What a woman! :)
     
  3. alex

    alex Formula Junior
    Silver Subscribed

    Dec 19, 2003
    674
    Crystal Lake, Illinois
    Full Name:
    Alex
    My wife was supportive too! I had considered buying one for several years, but it was never quite the right time. Finally she gave me a push and said that we needed to get it while we had the good health to enjoy it. We read a lot of posts on F-chat, considered the best car for us, and went about searching for it. It's been a blast! Hoping that 2021 will bring less COVID woes and more time for group activities.
     
  4. tomc

    tomc Two Time F1 World Champ

    Apr 13, 2014
    25,865
    DFW, Texas
    Full Name:
    Tom C
    Ditto and ditto.

    After our first drive in the California, top down, revs up, enjoying the few tunnels we have in Dallas, she had the biggest smile on her face. Her quote "This car is so stupidly impractical. I love it!"

    After I hopped out & threw her the keys.
    Wife before: I won't go too fast.
    Wife after: Wow, 100+ mph so quickly!

    Me before:
    Me after: (wincing in pain from whiplash!)

    Take home message: it's good to have the wife on board with your F-car hobby!

    T
     
    Headsuppassinglft likes this.
  5. Nospinzone

    Nospinzone F1 Veteran

    Jul 1, 2013
    7,346
    Weston, MA
    Full Name:
    Paul
    Like her quote before she married you, "This man is so stupidly impractical. I love him!" :D:D:D
     
    Gary Sandberg and tomc like this.
  6. G8TD

    G8TD Karting

    Apr 25, 2004
    108
    Houston
    Full Name:
    Joe
    Thanks for the kind words ;-) If you're going to crap on pilots then please add some other professional occupations with A-type personalities as well..Doctors, Dentists, Lawyers, etc.

    Come on man...Spread the love!

    Cheers :-D
     
  7. MikeMonty

    MikeMonty Karting

    May 28, 2004
    122
    Nashville TN
    Full Name:
    Mike
    I think a lot of depends on the situation with your wife and finances. My wife does not work and has not for 15 years since my first kid was born. I have worked hard and made sacrifices to be able to afford a Ferrari. She was fine with the purchase because I am still taking care of the normal bills and could afford the car without changing normal spending on her or the kids. Unless she is the one paying all the bills, I think you should be able to spend your money on a Ferrari as long as it is not negatively impacting the family finances. I did not ask my wife for permission because I have been the one working for a long time to get what I want and I paid for it with no negative impact on her or the kids. Even if she objected, I would have bought it anyways...
     
  8. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Rossa Subscribed

    Dec 6, 2002
    79,143
    Houston, Texas
    Full Name:
    Bubba
    Go easy....the car might not be "worth it"...

    My first Ferrari cost me my first (and only ) wife and the child support $$ was eye watering....

    That said, you can maybe find a younger one...but your life will be different...
    Image Unavailable, Please Login
     
    ChadR likes this.
  9. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    24,957
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    #84 ryalex, Jan 5, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2021
    If it was clear what it meant to you, then it shouldn’t be an issue of her being “mad” over you getting it. She should be supportive of your life goals and dreams. Period.

    My wife is very frugal and from a family that is not into flashy stuff. But I made it clear from the time we started dating that having Ferrari(s) is an extremely important life goal for me. It was almost 15 years together to the day when I got my first one Feb 2016.

    Like you I waited until it was a purchase that would not affect anything else as far as family needs. Admittedly it was before we even bought a house yet, although we had a down payment saved and she was shopping (I was super busy with work and not itching to move again yet). I also had the psychological advantage of being the sole breadwinner. Even then, she said I deserved it as a reward for working so hard. It was amusing to us that her girlfriends all said silly things like, “I can’t believe you let him get that when _______.” As if it was something that should have been heavily negotiated against me or held over my head for an exchange of a home or jewelry or something of value.

    Going back to my original point, as a team you should be supportive of each other’s deeply held dreams and goals. Perhaps what you need to do is start priming that vision so she understands what it means to you. I had the advantage of talking about it ad nauseum since I was 21.
     
    Julia likes this.
  10. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    24,957
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    I’ll add the observation that if you believe that getting a car without permission causes a divorce well I don’t believe that. It could be a small factor in ending a weak marriage but really there would have to be deeper more critical issues than buying a toy.

    In certain contexts it might reveal insecurities or come off as a midlife crisis.
     
  11. Simon99

    Simon99 Karting

    Jan 4, 2021
    90
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Simon
    There have been some very level headed responses to my original question. And some humerous ones. What a great forum. Thank you to all.

    Here is my plan:

    a) Carl, who has his 308 parked downstairs, said we should take it for a drive. He said if I liked the 308, I will like the 328 even more.

    b) A 328 will come up for sale some time in the future. I am told it is a good example. I will wait for it to be made available and consider what the owner wants for it.

    c) My wife’s biggest concern is not finances, but me having a heart attack. Nothing that isn’t correctable with dedication and time. She has told me in the past that if I get back into shape, she would actually encourage me to indulge myself as a reward…

    So with the sage advice of everyone on this forum and a couple of days, I have had a rethink about how I should be going about all this. The last point, which I had not mentioned previously, was a revelation that came after dinner last night in the country with an old friend I hadn’t seen for many years. I brought up my predicament, looking for advice. I was then shocked to learn that he had been battling Stage IV cancer, that it had reached his heart, and that he had asked to be taken off radiation treatment over the holidays, so at least he could enjoy some time with friends. I was obviously embarrassed over my paltry quandary. But he said to me “If it’s something you’ve wanted for a long time, and it’s something that won’t jeopardise your family, then it’s okay. Just don’t wait too long.”

    Time to get to work.
     
    AtomicPunk88, iMrMark, Julia and 6 others like this.
  12. vrsurgeon

    vrsurgeon F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Dec 13, 2009
    15,872
    Charleston, SC
    Full Name:
    Curt
    When I wanted mine.. I searched for a year for it either a 348 or a 360. First year deposit went into savings. Then it took that year of searching for her to see that I really wanted one. When I finally found the car in my garage we were at dinner with friends and she asked me “have you bought it yet?” Now ten years later the 360 is referred to as Bella in the house and my wife says “nooo.. don’t sell her” when I floated the idea a few years back. You just need to indicate that the finances will be ok and that you really want it. Life is too short not to enjoy it!
     
    alex likes this.
  13. Circle K

    Circle K Karting

    Dec 21, 2017
    153
    Full Name:
    KC
    People say “happy wife happy life” hmmm. After so many years of putting my family first, I decided it’s time to myself first, sounds selfish. The wife has her purses and shoes, not like she ever discussed with me about the purchases. House hold expenses are paid, so I just went and bought it. Til this day, I hear the BS once in a while but once I ago into the garage, my zen is back.
    Good luck
     
  14. Headsuppassinglft

    Dec 24, 2020
    80
    Addison, TX
    Full Name:
    Christine Fritsch
    I don't have that problem. I am the wife. My parents saved every penny "for the future" and my mother died of pancreatic cancer and my dad has had 2 strokes and heart attacks. They never went anywhere or did anything. I'm so glad I took my mom on a couple of nice trips and bought her a couple of nice cars. She thanked me for both every time I talked to her and saw her. It's too bad my dad never did that for her. You only get one life and if it ended tomorrow, how would you feel about how you lived it?
     
    x599, Circle K, AtomicPunk88 and 8 others like this.
  15. paulchua

    paulchua Cat Herder
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Jul 1, 2013
    15,979
    Menlo Park, CA
    Full Name:
    Paul Chua
    WOW.

    Crazy. Thank you @Simon99 for your sincere and heartfelt post.
     
  16. ChadR

    ChadR Karting

    Jun 19, 2019
    249
    Central Florida
    Full Name:
    Taj B
    Only wins. I dont get why owning a ferrari is such a big deal to them? Shouldn't I be able to have fun?
     
    Headsuppassinglft likes this.
  17. greginportlandor

    Jul 3, 2020
    12
    Interesting to read all the replies. I had a similar issue when I bought my Lotus Evora last year. Not the same dollar level as a Ferrari but still a splurge for me. Before I finalized the purchase (thought about it and mentioned it to her for a year) I told my wife that if she absolutely was opposed I won’t buy it so she had a final chance to object and didn’t. She isn’t that excited about my having it an occasionally makes negative comments but I don’t think married people have to have 100% the same interests.

    I think there are two separate reasons a partner would object. It’s probably the wife objecting most of the time, but maybe occasionally it’s the wife who wants it. I did see woman at a cars and coffee last year with an R8 and said it the car was her birthday and Christmas present to herself for the next few years so occasionally women like super cars.

    First is the cost and whether you can truly afford it. Also whether she wants to spend the money on something else. Especially if you have kids and the uncertainty of education costs it’s hard to spend a lot of money on a toy. For myself my wife has a lot of complaints about public schools and says how terrible the current public elementary schools is. Based on this we are switching our 2 kids next year to a private school that will cost $120,000 through 8th grade and then still have high school and college to pay for. That would buy a nice used Ferrari. Even though this seems expensive to me it is also the cheaper option as her ideal school in our town would cost $70,000 a year for two kids for elementary school!

    The other issue is some don’t like the image of the Ferrari even if they could afford it. When I talked about buying the Lotus my wife told me that what I liked about you is you didn’t have a fancy car when I first met you and that she never wanted someone who cared about nice cars. I’ve driven the same Honda Civic since 2002 (we met in 2008) due to being financially prudent and only bought the Lotus last year when I paid off the house and had some extra cash. I recently joined our local FCA club to have some car events to do when things open up post covid and asked her if she had any interest in going to one of the FCA events. She said no, I don’t want to hang around a bunch of rich people.

    Good luck! I might be interested in trading in my Lotus for a used Ferrari in a few years if finances allow so will keep watching this thread and see if I can learn any useful tips. :)
     
    ChadR likes this.
  18. ChadR

    ChadR Karting

    Jun 19, 2019
    249
    Central Florida
    Full Name:
    Taj B
    I looked at the Evora in person. The only thing justifying it's price in my opinion is the manual gearbox and lightweight, other than that, it's basic to me.
    Supercharged V6 also... Definitely not appealing to me.
     
  19. greginportlandor

    Jul 3, 2020
    12
    I wanted a mid engine with a back seat so my kids would fit for occasional trips with them. They fit, but just barely, and the older one complained about riding in it and would kick the seat. It wasn't as fun to take them as I imaged it would be before owning it. In the future having a back seat won't be necessary. Also after driving it to work most days for the past year I realized that I'm okay with my nice car not being a daily driver so perhaps there will be a Ferrari for me in the future.
     
    iMrMark and ChadR like this.
  20. ChadR

    ChadR Karting

    Jun 19, 2019
    249
    Central Florida
    Full Name:
    Taj B
    I totally understand the feeling. They got great reviews online from reliable sources, but couldn't figure it out. They didn't give me the Elise or Esprit "energy" when I saw it.
     
  21. Circle K

    Circle K Karting

    Dec 21, 2017
    153
    Full Name:
    KC
    Off the subject of cars. When it comes to education, there is no denying but I used to compare public/private. My siblings and I went to public until college, as well as most of my friends. We turned out fine/successfull. My kids went to public until going college. I think a lot has to do with home and the people they’re surrounded. I feel your pain since you have a long way to go. Good Luck
     
  22. Scudmsl

    Scudmsl Formula Junior
    Silver Subscribed

    Aug 12, 2014
    837
    USA
    My wife is very frugal as well, so I tried a strategy that turned out to be highly successful. My first Ferrari purchase was for HER...a rosso Corsa Cali T. We then participated in some local Ferrari events and met some great people. Hook, line, and sinker.

    After that there was only support for all of my future purchases. She has since upgraded to a Portofino and very recently to an 812 GTS. She is now as hooked as I am on the brand, the cars, and, most importantly, the experiences with others that share the same passion.

    With that said, I would echo the caveats already posted about being able to afford the cars. If it is a stretch, no strategy will work.
     
    Circle K, AtomicPunk88 and of2worlds like this.
  23. Simon99

    Simon99 Karting

    Jan 4, 2021
    90
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Simon
    Financial update: My youngest daughter, who is a senior in high school, just got accepted to her number 1 university choice. That's the good news. The bad news was the financials. That's the second daughter that will be going to a private university in LA next year. I can feel the prospect of a 328 becoming more distant!

    I suspect other forum readers can feel my pain. But in all seriousness, she's earned it. And you're only as happy as your unhappiest child.
     
    x599 and sisiay like this.
  24. ChadR

    ChadR Karting

    Jun 19, 2019
    249
    Central Florida
    Full Name:
    Taj B
  25. ChadR

    ChadR Karting

    Jun 19, 2019
    249
    Central Florida
    Full Name:
    Taj B
    I mean education is important. I did mechanical engineering. Had I invested the money for college in Amazon instead of doing that degree, I’d have 30 times the amount right now.

    I regret it everyday. I knew amazon was going to be big.

    All the best tho.
     
    ryalex likes this.

Share This Page