Not F car related (sorry) but looking for tips on how to teach my wife to drive a manual

I'm sure I'm posting this to the wrong place, so my apologies in advance, as I'm a novice on this site. And I apologize also for the long family story here. Just trying to be real.

I have a 348 which my wife will not drive until I depart from this planet. She is a pretty bad driver in general with auto transmission cars - she has ADHD and just doesn't pay attention to what is going on around her, so when I'm in the car, I drive. Approx 30 years ago she had a BMW 325 manual, and I have no idea how she pulled that off.

For reference - a couple of years ago, a Subaru dealer let her take out a WRX and bring it home for me to drive (she was pushing me to buy a new car). The dealer is less than 5 miles from our house. When I walked outside, I smelled a really bad burning smell - for a new car. Clutch. I drove it for a while and it was a blast - lots of fun. She then drove it the 5 miles back to the dealership. She reported that when she pulled up, a bunch of sales guys came out of the office, due to the burning smell. They told her she completely trashed the clutch on a new car, with a repair price of $1500 - that they wouldn't charge her (due to their own stupidity in giving her the car). Their only request was - if we decide to buy a WRX, we go to their dealership.

Fast forwarding a few years to the present, my son (in the Army) moved to his next quasi-permanent duty station, close to Seattle. He wanted to drive his 2008 Mustang GTR there, but given the snow over the last week, I talked him into just flying there without his car. So this is causing me grief because my son wants his car at his new base and I'm not going to pop $2K in shipping so that he has a cool ride at his new base. He's not in a personal financial position to pay for it himself, due to a long string of his poor financial decisions.

My wife has a "bright idea" that I think is a really bad idea. She would like to learn how to drive his Mustang GTR (manual), and then drive it from Chicago to Seattle by herself, so that it doesn't need to be shipped.

The Mustang's clutch is really heavy, and has a very short bite range. It is pretty much the exact opposite of my 348, which has a light clutch and a longer bite/engagement range. The 348 is a complete sex-mobile, but there's still no way I'm letting her drive it.

Back to my question - assuming I can't talk her our of this complete cluster-F, can anyone provide tips on how I could train her on manual transmission driving in general, and driving a heavy short throw clutch car in particular?

 

New clutch for a Mustang GTR has gotta be about the same price as shipping a car from Chicago to Seattle, but with shipping there's no chance your wife will wreck it, curb the rims, etc.

 

Plus when you factor airfare, fuel, hotels, meals, etc. wouldn’t that $2000 be within sight? Alternatively if you are willing to fly your wife to and from to deliver the car couldn’t you do the same for your son? Your wife driving the car sounds like the highest risk and most expensive option available. Just my $0.02. PS: Any insurance issues if your wife drives the car and gets into an accident? Would she be covered if she is not the primary driver?

 

why not fly your son back?

sjd

 

If you have access to a diesel powered manual vehicle, use it, that is how I taught my wife. The torque of the diesel makes it harder to stall, so it is easier to teach the methodology. Good luck!

 

or a jeep.

sjd

 

People say opposites attract. My wife is very fun but brainless (sorry to say). I'm the sensible one, but I'm zero fun. I am not a fan at all of her trying to drive his Mustang roughly 2100 miles. I'm not even a fan of her driving her car (Merc CLA250, 4-matic) that distance.

The various costs of the options do not factor into my wife's thinking. My options are 1) do nothing and hope she forgets and moves on to something else, 2) tell my son that if he wants his car, he's going to need to save up the $ to have it shipped (and then be the hard-ass with my wife about not paying for it), 3) tell my son to drive it back if he ends up being granted leave at a time where there is better weather so that he can drive it CHI->SEATAC, or 4) me being completely F'd by some other thing my wife flings at me.

Getting back to reality - thank you for your response!

 

You're spot-on - but given family history and circumstances, I'm not going to pay to ship his car. I don't think he needs a car at his base. If he wants to pay to ship it - that's cool. But my wife is busting my balls because I told her I wouldn't pay to have it shipped. So she wants to drive it out to him, visit with him for a few days, and then fly back. I'm trying to deal with "crazy". I've already stuck my D in that.

 

Well, he was just here, and it's not like the Army gives him a bunch of flexibility about taking time off to fly home.

 

Thanks, but I don't. I have 2 manual transmission vehicles in my driveway right now - a 2008 Mustang GTR and a 1994 Ferrari 348 Spider. And there is no way my wife is driving my 348 while I'm still alive and not in a hospital on life support.

 

If you decide to cave you could drive it out there, your wife could ride along, she gets to see her baby, you guys get a few days' vacation, and then you guys fly back. That way you have the moral victory of not having paid for shipping; fun sex in an unfamiliar hotel setting; and the car gets there in one piece. Win/win/win. (Except the boy has learned nothing.)

 

Thanks Julia - but I made the decision many years ago that I'm not driving anywhere that is more than about 4 hours away. I'll fly and then rent a car if I need to. My wife also wants to rent a camper and drive around the US - but I'm not so up on that. I took long driving vacations as a kid, and now that I have the money to not do that, I don't want to do that.

 

You can borrow this. Just teach her in 4 low. Can't burn up a clutch with that kind of gearing

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Teach her to drive manual on a frozen lake.
That's what I did yesterday with my 13yr old daughter.
No driver's licence required, as it's public domain, not a road.
BMW 3 series, RWD, lowered.

Very few stalls, because the wheels will spin before the engine stalls.
Radio off, heater fan on low, so she can hear what the car is doing.
Eyes up.
Emphasize that she listen & feel what the car is doing.

After the lesson, make sure to treat yourself to a drifting session.

 

I would have voted with Julia. win/win/win.
But since you nixed that, how about putting an add in the paper for a driver.
My sister use to shuttle cars quite some distances for Hertz. There's got to be folks like her doing it near you.
Let the son know it. he might shudder enough letting a stranger drive it and come get it himself.

 

That's awesome - you gave me a chuckle I really needed given how crappy my week has been with 2 very key resources on my team at work quitting out of the blue (directly after my company's yearly bonus payouts for the prior year) on Monday and departing on Weds and Fri (today), and me scrambling to find people to take over pieces of their jobs at least in the short term.

 

Best of luck sorting that out! I was long ago terminated from the corporate world so nothing of value I could contribute to that topic.

Really though the offer is genuine. You're welcome to borrow it if you like. Even in 2 high it's pretty easy to learn on/drive with short gearing and light clutch.

 

Thanks much - I need a good laugh this week. I originally learned to drive manual in probably the worst way. I booked a 4 day competition driving school class at Bondurant. I had a buddy in PHX who had some kind of manual ****box, and he let me drive it for about 30 mins the day before my racing class started. So I hid the fact that I had no clue what I was doing in general with a manual (which ended up not being such a big deal because heel-toe was new to everyone). I didn't kill the race prepped Mustang GT on getting it rolling (thankfully). But I had struggles with the 2-3-2 shifts. And I had an episode where I needed to 2-3 upshift before entering a corner, and somehow I managed to go from 2-1. That immediately locked the rears and sent me ass over tea kettle off the track and into the dirt, inhaling a mouthful of dirt and sand because it's PHX and it's hot there, so windows were down.

 

Thanks James - I appreciate it. I'm in Wood Dale (roughly Rt 83 & I-290). I haven't joined any local Ferrari clubs yet. Maybe I will join a club and meet you one day. In the interim, I'm just looking to kill my wife's crazy ideas. I love her but she is just a terrible driver in general and I can't imagine trying to teach her how to drive a manual.

 

Thanks for the reply. I'm trying and so far failing at teaching my son financial responsibility. I've told him I'm not paying to have his car shipped, and if he wants it (which I personally feel is just to make him look like a cool guy on base - and not for any real need for transportation), he needs to budget for that and come up with the money himself. My wife is not exactly cooperating by throwing out ideas like her driving his car from Chicago to Seattle. But she's the purely emotional momma bear. I'm the sensible (prick) papa bear.

 

Maybe I missed it but thought I read at some point the military would pay/assist with transport of vehicles?

Another thought is, my Mom is an excellent driver and can drive a manual trans perfectly. If I was in your sons position however I would not want my Mom running that trip solo. Not that she couldn't but I would still worry.

Last idea is, IMO the Pacific Northwest is the absolute best place to find a classic in great condition. Usually rust free and no sun beat interior. So if you're looking to acquire something vintage for yourself, find it, let your son vet it in person, borrow it for a while and then drive it to you when possible.

Otherwise I agree with you and wouldn't pay to have it shipped.

 

Take road trip with wife. Fly home.

 

Teaching someone how to drive a manual is easy. Start the car, and let it idle. Push in the clutch and put it in second gear. Then start letting the clutch out without giving it gas. As soon as you feel it engage, push the clutch in. Do this over and over, the key is feeling that first engagement. You’ll find it is those last few inches when a clutch engages. The key is realizing you control the clutch, not the clutch controlling you.

It’s easy.


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Thanks for the tip Texas,
I'll try that next time.

 

Of course, that's not how my old man taught me. Our driveway went up a hill. We had a VW. He backed it half way down the hill, turned it off, and set the parking brake. He then told me to drive it.

It's wasn't easy. Fortunately, I had been riding motorcycles for two years.