Hello all, my names Alvin and I’m 27. My children are 5, 4 and a newborn. My wife and I make roughly 300k+ per year. I don’t think of us as rich, but by todays standards upper-middle class. Is private education actually worth the expense? K-12th setting, $12k-15k per year (low budget), per child? I get mixed results from a lot of people of whom I associate with, that the bullying and risks associated with public school will still exist, but when I read of average ACT test scores, it shows they’re doing something right (27+). I don’t want my kids to associate with children whose parents possibly do illicit drugs, or go to food banks, can’t afford clothes, Etc… I feel it’s much less likely that my children will be around bad influences. To me, it’s worth it. Does anyone here have insight, and possibly an outlook from a parent who has experienced both settings? I want the best absolute outcome for my children, but it’s hard to get my wife on board to see the value within it, vs giving them a lump of cash and paying for their college tuition. I want to do everything within my power to see my children are setup for success, and I guess I’m hoping if we do everything right at home, and couple that with a sound private education that it’ll persuade them to enjoy learning and academia success. I personally hold no grief towards state colleges or public universities, wherever they choose to go, they can go. I just want them surrounded by success at an early age and not surrounded by mediocrity or jealousy, I want them around kids with similarities. My only experience as of now with private school, was reviewing a few which costed $25,000 per year, and the students all had Porsches, Gladiators, and 50k+ vehicles at 16. Their cafeteria, everyone was chef’s. Going that route, would they understand the value of money? Or, would they just cling to us? Pros/Cons? Thanks.
Private school helps if you live in bad neighborhood. neighborhood is biggest not parent influencer. The number one determinant of how well kids do is parent involvement. Be careful spending too much time as a provider. Spend more time interacting.
A "hidden" benefit of private school is that there's usually a dedicated team of people who do nothing but file college applications and find grants and financial aid. The school my daughter goes to generated over $14 million in scholarships and grants for 86 students last year. In public school, there's usually one jerk who advises hundreds of kids with lines like "You're never going to be anything, give up." (This was told to me by my public school advisor.) You're essentially on your own when applying to college and figuring out how to pay for it. So besides getting a far better education, your child's tuition may be all you pay for college too. Many kids at my daughter's school get a free ride, even though their parents are rich and wealthy.
Would be interesting to know what city you live in and whether or not you think you have a good school district/assignment, bc that's a massive factor in the cost/benefit dept. There are certain districts that are simply unuseable and private school is a necessity, and there's other which are great. You may also have charter options. Spending a quarter million dollars each so they can get $150k in scholarships at best is a little funny to me though That said, I think there's two main reasons to consider private school: higher education standard (more competition, higher bar, more traditional curriculum) and to avoid violence (you will not avoid drugs in a private school). I think it's a bit much to equate parents doing illicit drugs to those needing a foodbank or struggling to put clothes on their back. If you go the private school route - odds are that you'll be viewed as a poor family (I don't mean that as an insult, just saying everything is relative and not having money isn't a sign of moral inferiority). I've heard from countless parents and some teachers that kids that start out in private school jump way ahead than their counterparts in the avg public school. I think a good strategy may be to start private for that purpose and then reevaluate when they get approach middle or high school. At least by that age if they go public (your kids may even ask to go public at that point), there should be gifted programs and AP classes to make sure they're not bored.
why was my post deleted? how can you disuses private school without taking the political environment into account?
Thanks for taking the time to read, So, Houston TX. The schools are rated in the 4's around us. We like the area because homes for >$1.5M are 6,000+ SQFT, and the taxes aren't too bad. I didn't mean to insult over the drugs and clothes/food banks. I just personally know people who don't want to better their self, and have the ability to do so, but they remain stagnant. There's plenty of opportunity in this life, if those individuals just chose to apply their self. I don't think everyone needs a 100k+ wage per year to be successful, but there's a time when those individuals if they live off EBT and work at Amazon need to straighten up their life and realize it isn't a career, but a bridge.
I attended both private and public. I've been both poor and wealthy. I was a child on welfare and food stamps. My mother remarried a man from old money and I attended private schools from the age 12 onward, including a very exclusive boarding school and day school. The only drugs I encountered were in private schools. Same with bullying. Lots of mediocre kids in private schools. Your ideas about private schools seems naive to me. $25k a year for private school? That's peanuts compared to the more exclusive schools. My alma mater charges $70k/year, before incidentals. I believe it all comes down to parental involvement. If you can impart your values and more importantly, expectations on your child, it does't matter where they attend school. The only private schools that really have any true value in my opinion and can offer a superior education are on the East Coast and mostly Northeast. Most private schools are "pay your fees get your 'degrees' " in my opinion. BTW, drugs are rampant in private school, especially day schools, and the opportunities for parent free weekends are too!
You lost me at Amazon - those drivers bust tail and have to pee in bottles/depends just to hit their targets and some of them own their trucks or multiple.. I don't want to get too far off topic, but I think you're overestimating just how much opportunity there is these days. The economy is hollow in many sectors and there are factors beyond motivation, education, and effort that can freeze one's advancement. Also, 10s of thousands of businesses have gone under in the last couple years bc of regulation, inflation, interest rates, cvd policies, etc. etc. so even people who were successful are having a tough go of it now. I know people who are very hard working and their financial situation has risen and fallen based on who is in the white house. Majority of people can't pull a grand together for emergencies these days. That's a financial shortfall, not a moral one.
He comes across as someone that was sheltered and grew up with some very distorted opinions in his home.
I think your spot on here w/ respect to the costs and degree of mediocrity in private schools. The baseline is higher than public, but that's only a reflection of the filtering/entry barriers. I dropped out of college twice but eventually earned a Masters from Duke. I couldn't believe how many kids there were out of touch with any sense of reality. Don't get me wrong, there were some incredibly gifted and brilliant people there, but it's like they were raised on a completely different planet.
Private message me $70,000 a year? How was that experience? I know those exist of course but most that I’ve found seem to have a 5:1 teacher ratio, I’m in no way up rooting my family to move to NY, MA, CT or NH. I’ve seen the boarding schools which allow full time living 9-12th for roughly $45,000/Yr-$50,000/Yr and I could definitely justify that cost if we had a single child and needed the away time. I don’t doubt that drugs can still go around, but here’s my thing. I went to a School of 1,300 kids. I don’t count weed as a drug, I’m talking about Meth, Cocaine, heroin. The life ending stuff, I highly doubt you and your prep goons were shooting up before a game of Quidditch and a party here or there is a lot different than every day.
you’re the ones out of touch. I have a Class A license, ain’t nobody pissing in bottles unless they are just nasty, and Amazon doesn’t have its own trucks… they just have trailers and use owner ops to move sounds like you’re speaking about something of which you know nothing about. Amazon doesn’t have its own trucks, those people delivering with amazon trailers are known as freight partners. I was also talking about the warehouse employees, including the managers with 4 year degrees who only earn $60,000/Yr. The amazon vans you see, are also delivery partners. Those aren’t amazon employees, they are contracted and get to use the Logos. Talk about out of touch and sheltered. I also have a Class A license, get one so you can drive anything.
You wouldn't believe some of these private schools - they make all but a dozen colleges look like high schools. When I coached high school crew, I'd see names you never heard of and these places look like the best colleges and have an alumni list that only yale or harvard could rival. My wife taught at an all-girls school like this for a couple years and it was the same thing (children that were from heads of state, heads of industry, etc). There's a place called Culver Academy that's in IN of all places and the campus is pretty amazing w/ respect to the drugs, hate to tell you, but it's not just weed. Your one hope is that the quality is higher bc of the extra $ floating around and likelihood of something being laced w/ fentanyl is much lower. A lot of these kids have parents who shoved them off to boarding school or unto the nanny and they rebel like any other. Also, they've had access to so many experiences growing up, it's harder for them to be excited, so coke, etc. can get into the mix pretty quick
@AlvinG I'm not here to fight, I like this topic and know a fair amount about it I didn't insult you but I'm offput by how you talk down about honest, hardworking people and you don't want your kids to interact with them as if they're all untouchables bc they're not as blessed/fortunate as you. And I tried to explain why I think that's the wrong criteria in this scenario you're evaluating. I don't understand the point you're making with the amazon trucks, you might've misunderstood what I was trying to say, bc I'm generally on that same page. I was saying that they weren't just lazy losers like you implied, that some of them owned their own trucks (and therefore business). There are plenty of articles and forum/sm posts for years now about the harsh conditions amazon workers endure, not to mention outrageous management actions at the lower levels. w/ respect to having a degree and only making $60k - you can't run a freaking burger king w/ out a college degree now. Isn't it a running joke about the barista w/ $200k in student loans making twelve bucks an hour? A guy I went to Duke with and was a freaking Dartmouth undergrad ran a Burger King for 2 years after graduation. My dad was kicked out of a job he held for 25 years bc the MBA that took the role above him thought it was ridiculous that he could earn $60k w/out a high school degree when he could hire a college grad for $35k... not to mention, that measely $60k is double the median income
I’ve seen in person the schools buddy, I know how epic they look. Like little Hogwarts I know.. just look at Baylor School in TN. I hate to tell you, but its a 700 acre school, they aren’t going to get cocaine in there unless it’s from a parent ROFL. Also, $31,000 per year for Culver academy isn’t bad. I’m just not moving to Indiana Image Unavailable, Please Login
This post wasn’t made for anyone who can’t afford or didn’t go to private, and I don’t mean “college masters.” Respectfully, I mean parents who paid for their young children to go. I’m sorry for your dad, but that’s neither here nor there. My dad was a CNC programmer in the 90s making 100k/Yr back then. I still didn’t go to private school personally, and my dad retired in his 40s, something, something 9/11 something military contracts.
Wasn't suggesting a move, was just highlighting how amazing some of these higher tier schools are. I think it's closer to $55-60k last time I checked though. We'll agree to disagree re: hard drugs at these schools
60k for boarding, that’s very common to live on campus. I’m just here to hear from someone with experience. I don’t care if you think I’m poor, if you think drugs run rampant, if you went to one that’s $200,000/Yr and did cocaine every day. I just want to read from someone with real experience who isn’t going to be insulted by the mention of EBT, Low class..
You are so funny! I don't know where to start! Coke, mushrooms, pot, acid, oxycotin, ectacy, anything short of vein or meth injection etc. are the staples in private schools! I never knew anyone that did injectable drugs, private or public. $45k boarding schools are not going to be all that competitive, entrance wise. https://www.exeter.edu/admissions-and-financial-aid/tuition-financial-aid/payment-options
Baylor is a joke and cocaine runs rampant there I bet and 700 acres is par for the course. You are extremely naive, especially if Harry Potter is your point of reference.
“I had a dream I could buy my way into heaven, when I woke? I spent it on a necklace.” You spelled Ecstacy wrong guy. I’m starting to believe you a little less and less for someone who “partied.” I took the ACT on Ecstacy, tell me someone else you know who did that. MDMA baby.
You just called Baylor a Joke and it’s one of the top private schools in TN. Rofl. move along, you’re acting like you went to a school for gifted children, like a magnet.
@AlvinG Since it's so important to you that I went to private school in order to talk to you, I'll let you know that I did go to private school until my grandmother died. Is that better now? I have a lot of 1st and 2nd-hand experience on the topic, so forgive me for not meeting your exacting standards for valid opinions. What a joke. I'm not insulted by the ebt and low class stuff, I just think it's funny you think $300k is that high of a perch to look down on others from. I know people who make that from every few weeks to every few days and none of them talk about struggling people that way - under any circumstance. If you were truly concerned about the people your kids associated with, you wouldn't be placing spoiled brats over those from honest families and you certainly wouldn't equate them to druggies. You gonna keep all the kids from playing sports bc the poors like to play sports too?? The grass is not as green as you think and I think your obsession over this is weird and in bad taste. Btw - guess what? Some of the elite schools and a lot of local private schools give out scholarships to poor kids now, guess we gotta scratch all of those off the list.
