Private school?

I went to Phillips Exeter. We had two Saudi Princes there at the time. They were the go to source for cocaine if you wanted it. Not my jam, but I certainly had a lot of dorm evening studies with other students that did. They'd pull out an ounce of coke during study hall and do several lines. What OP doesn't understand is what these truly wealthy and entitled kids are like!

 

Yes I did call it a joke. I went to Phillips Exeter. Compare the endowments and alumni. You are really digging yourself into a hole here.

 

I'm typing with an index finger due to ulnar nerve transposition surgery.

 

Why do you keep getting into fights with users who answer the questions you ask?

 

Dang, Phillips Exeter is big time - I knew you said you went to a prestigious one but didn't think you were gonna say that one.

I'm close friends with a guy who was a principal at a couple of elite boarding schools and is about to jet off to the UK for another stint - everything you've said is in alignment w/ what we've discussed and if anything, understated.

 

I was sadly mediocre there, but I was helped by being a fourth generation legacy. Otherwise, no chance they would have admitted me.

 

That is precisely what we have been advising you. . Good luck but you'll need to invest your time and involvement into maximizing your child's education, private school or public. The smartest people I've known often came from public schools, broken homes, or disadvantaged circumstances. They grew up poor, rich, middle class, etc. But they all shared a common trait. They intellectually matured faster, despite their circumstances either through a genetic lottery or hard work and parental involvement. Sending your kid to any private school is a crap shoot and often times a crutch for parents either too busy at work to have the energy to invest their time or energy in their child's learning or they don't care and want others to do it for them. Education is like water. It always fills the empty spaces first, regardless of shape. YOU are the most important factor!

 

@AlvinG I know you think my opinion is trash, but still going to answer in hopes this will help somebody who comes here with the same conundrum

Start them at a mid-price private school that has a location that's convenient for you and reevaluate after a year or two. Try not to get caught up in the parental p***ing contest, just find a school that has its priorities right and where the waitlist is manageable. If playing the odds, they'll be reading at or above reading level and 1-2 years ahead for math by 5th grade, which is likely better than the public schools around you based on the ratings you shared

 

That's not the question to ask. No one could possibly answer that with any real wisdom. In some ways yes, in other ways no. It's a mixed bag. As I wrote, the most important factor is parental involvement, rich or poor. My severely autistic son is going to walk graduation on Friday. We've spent $400,000 on his primary education and thousands of parental hours. I believe that my wife and I's involvement was more important than the ABA school we sent him to in the early years. Phillips Exeter didn't prepare me for him at all! How could they? However, the example of my mother's sacrifice and dogged determination in seeing that I had the best opportunities, and she held me to account, was the example I replied upon the most

 

The others in this thread all have absolutely more experience with the subject than I do.

I went to public school. Parents worked for the government/military but were around. They kept me on a good path, school wasn't bad either. I had very involved teachers.

I have family members outside of my household who went to private school.

Parents were mainly absent, because that seemed to be the norm for people making enough money to send their kids to private.

If there is one thing I remember from my conversations with those cousins...it is that hard drugs, were anywhere and everywhere in private school.

Being present, and interaction, is the most important thing you can do to keep your kid from being a POS. Being a provider means LITTLE to them at the end of their adolescence.

 

Hard drugs are easily available in private school. There is always a clique of "stoners" and the administrators haven't a clue who they are many times. One difference between public and private is that often, parents of private school kids are out of town on the weekends or even for a week or more. Lots of opportunities there if one is so inclined. I especially agree with your last two sentences. BTW, some of the smartest kids I knew were in public school AP classes. No one went to a more elite private school in the US than I did. I imagine the non-elite private schools ("pay your fees get your degrees"), and especially one's that aren't boarding, could be even worse in terms of access to drugs and opportunities to use those drugs.

 

I went to a small town high school and a private catholic high school. Oddly, most of the curriculum was much easier at the private school. The private school was extremely cliquey and hard to fit in at. Lots of stuck up snobby well off kids without a clue about life. A lot more pregnancies and people coming out as trans or gay later on in life as well. I saw no benefit in going to a private school. For me personally it worked out a lot worse due to it being in a much larger town when I was used to rural life. I got mixed in with a bad crowd outside of school, partially due to the social ostracization in school.

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If you went to a Catholic HS and saw a lot of pregnancies, somehow that doesn't surprise me. Girls from religious households were always the loosest when I was in HS back in the 80's. I knew I was getting some if I saw a cross or picture of Jesus in the home. I have no problem with trans or gay people, live and let live your own life is my motto. Do you turn the "dial" when Bohemian Rhapsody comes on? I can't think of a better song when I'm racing someone than this one, lead by a gay singer. It doubles the testosterone flowing through my blood!

 

In my opinion, I do not think private school is worth the investment. Elementary and Middle for sure no.

Everyone's situation is different. In some cases it could make sense or have value for high school.

I'd rather have college paid for, and have money in the budget for other experiences in my kid's years at home.