OFF TOPIC----------HOW TO SPEAK ESSEX___________

How to speak Essex......

This has been an invaluable guide to me......

alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item

amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in
Saffend")

>assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability
etc

awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more
likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")

branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya
look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")

cort a panda - A rather large hamburger

dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit dan in the
maff")

eye-eels - Women's shoes

Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre

garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired (Trace: "Oi,
Darren, I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working
proper")

Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island

lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")

oi oi! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs
or during banging dance tunes at clubs

paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport

reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after
rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")

Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier
in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera,
Eastenders go on holiday

tan - The city of London, the big smoke

webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats
is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")

wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police

zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it
actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")