From:http://www.sniffpetrol.com/index.html The Bugatti Veyron was designed as a 1001 horsepower flagship for the entire Volkswagen Group. Now, following the cancellation of a planned press launch whilst the steering was re-worked and a downgrading of the projected top speed claims, VW insiders claim the dramatic range-topper will be delayed 'until the end of time'. 'This is not entirely unexpected,' claims Professor Ken Freeply of Nigel Havers College, Kettering, who knows this stuff. 'I think their first mistake was in getting a small boy to lay out the engineering parameters. Whenever I ask my seven-year-old son to draw a supercar he always claims the power output is "a thousand" and that the top speed is "250mph". The difference is, where I'd tell him not to be so ****ing stupid, Volkswagen set about trying to meet those inept kitchen table projections.' Many industry observers were surprised to spot a small footnote in early Veyron publicity material which read; 'Warning: The value of insanely large power and performance projections may go down as well as up' but even they have been shocked to see that the Bugatti's key stats seem in some way to have been accidentally index linked to the dollar or something. After rapidly rising to foolishly large amounts, Prof. Freeply now believes that key elements of the W16-powered hypercar are in recession and he has calculated where they may end up, if by some miracle the car ever goes on sale: 'By my reckoning the eventual power output and top speed will fall by around 10 percent per quarter which means, taking an optimistic on-sale date sometime in 2079, that the Veyron will produce 69bhp and have a top speed of 91mph,' he said. 'I also predict a similar downgrading of the car's appearance so that within 50 years it will be a small three door hatchback, something like a garishly two-tone Lupo'. Professor Freeply later denied that he was simply 'making it up'. Image Unavailable, Please Login
