In the same vein, check out this item on e-bay! http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2362150346&category=204
Who'd have thought we could ever use the word "dignified" and "Australian" in the same sentence (unless punctuated by the word "not"!
Three rugby fans an Indian, a Jew and an Aussie were travelling to a game by car and broke down near a farmhouse. They asked the farmer if they could stay the night, the farmer said they could but he only had two spare beds so one would have to sleep in the barn. The Indian gent said he would sleep in the barn so off he went. Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door and the farmer opened it to find the Indian standing there he said, "I am sorry but I cannot sleep in the barn because there is a cow in there and that would be offensive to me because of my religion" So they decided that the Jew would sleep in the barn and off he went...ten minutes went by and there was a knock on the door the farmer opened it to find the Jew there and he said," I am sorry but there is a pig in the barn and that is very offensive to me because of my religion". It was decided that the Aussie would have to sleep in the barn, so off he went. Ten minutes passed and there was a knock on the door. The exasperated farmer went and opened it and there was the cow and the pig... What's the difference between a yoghurt and Australia? If left alone long enough, a yoghurt will eventually develop its own culture. Why do they only sell XXXX in the stadiums. Cos. Aussie's can't spell beer. How can you spot a level-headed Aussie? He dribbles beer out of both sides of the mouth. What do you call an Australian in a suit? The defendant. An Australian player went to the doctor and said: "I've just been playing rugby and when I got back I found that when I touched my legs, arms, head, tummy - everywhere - it really hurt." The doctor replied: "You've broken your finger." What do Australian fans and sperm have in common? One in three million has a chance of becoming a human being. Four surgeons taking a coffee break . . . The first one says: "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says: "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything is in alphabetical order." The third surgeon says: "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says: "I prefer an Australian rugby fan. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable." Eddie Jones takes the Wallabies out for training and tells everyone to assume their normal position. So they all go and stand behind the posts and wait for the conversion. A Japanese firm has developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut.
Tony, If i may be so bold as to add in a further line ####### Four surgeons taking a coffee break . . . The first one says: "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says: "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything is in alphabetical order." The third surgeon says: "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says: "I prefer an Australian rugby fan. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable." ######## The fifth one says, "I prefer a Ferrari mechanic, because they understand that once the job is finished, ther's bound to be a few bit left over!"
OK, OK, you guys won, but it was the closest game of rugby Ive ever seen, and it was Johny that really won it for you, but to be honest we had to let you win something, I mean we have beaten you at almost everything over the last couple of years, so we dont mind giving you one. Steve PS I wont even start with the pommy jokes, this forums server could not cope!!