Snappy Answers...

LMAO!! Those were GREAT!

 

DESSSSsssss living the good life I always use to love it when I had some quality time to kick back and leaf through the old "Mad Magazine".

 

c

 

HAHAHAHAHA


these are too funny

 

OK...Here's mine:

Q: Did you catch that fish?
A: No, I talked him into giving himself up.
A: No, I was sitting here minding my own business when the crazy thing jumped into my pail.
A: No, it's a plastic model to get people like you to start fascinating conversations.


Q: (from a woman just pulled over by a police officer) Did I do something wrong, officer?
A: No, today we're giving tickets out for doing things right.
A: No, I just got tired of lugging around these heavy summonses so I decided to give some of them away.
A: No, I'm giving a ticket to this crazy street because it's going the wrong way.


Q: (from a waiter, to a husband and wife) Table for how many?
A: A hundred and twelve -- we like to change seats every few minutes.
A: One -- my wife will sit on my shoulders.
A: I don't know -- I can't count that high, either.

 

Good ones, DES.
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Peters,I love those. I think I will use the ones about the waiter sometime. That is awesome.

 

You too, DES. Best wishes to you and your family for a wondrous holiday!

 

A couple gets pulled over because the man was swerving a little. The officer looks over the husband and wife and says to the man, "You been drinking?" The man looks over at his wife then looks at the officer and says "No, her fathers rich."

 

A man gets pulled over and the cop says "Do you know what would happen if you hit a deer speeding at 90mph??"

The man replied, "Wow, I didnt know that deer could run that fast!"

 

Someone I know was sitting shotgun in a new Bently recently. The younger gentleman driving the Bently was kind of cocky and slyly asked my friend if he had ever ridden in a Bently before.

The quick response was, "Yes, but never in the front."



I thought that was pretty good.

 

My favorite thing to do is to take both my checkbook and my credit card to the grocery store and when it is time to pay I pull out both and ask the cashier "Would you like paper or plastic?" Not exactly a snappy answer, but I think it is in the spirit of the thread.

At a fast-food drive through after ordering the voice on the speaker asks "Would you like those drinks in a bag?" I said "No. I'd like them in cups."

 

The chick is ugly.. the guy thinks the cop is asking him if he's been drinking cuz he's going home with an ugly girl. So what he's saying is no, he's not with her because he's drunk, he's with her because she has rich parents..

Dang these things lose their charm when you have to explain them

-R

 

Dan

I think it is an all time classic!
Had fun talking with you here in Nawlins!

John Suarez(FutureOwner)

 

Some F-car related ones:

Q: Is that a "Magnum" car?
A: No, just a carafe.

Q: What the hell is that?
A: No, the Diablo a Lamborghini is.

Q: Is it real?
A: The service bills are.

But my favorite snappy come-back (from the ferrarilist):

F-car at gas station. Passing trucker yells: "You must have a really small d*ck".
F-car owner: "That's not what your girlfriend said."

 

A blacksmith is hammering a horseshoe out of hot metal. He lays the horseshoe on the anvil to cool off. A tinhorn cowboy wanders into the blacksmith shop and reaches over and picks up the horseshoe to look at it, but IMMEDIATELY throws the horseshoe onto the ground. The blacksmith laughs and says to the cowboy, "That horseshoe's kinda hot ain't it?" The cowboy says, "No, not at all. It just doesn't take me very long to look at a horseshoe!"

 

Funny stuff Arlie...

 

Elevator stops, doors open-man outside elevator says "going up?" man inside says " no we are standing stll you must be going down.