how to wash a cat/ I thought this was funny

lol

 

LOL... There's a p_ssy (cat) joke in there somewhere, but i won't look for it...

 

LOL...! Detail, that statement in itself, is funny...!

i was just referring to the cat as a p_ssy and that there's the strong possibility that there will be a side joke about that, in this thread, at some point...

 

You have no idea how long I've waited for the right moment to share this picture.

From my hard drive to yours:
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Wax, that's hysterical!

 

How to Give A Cat a Pill
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply
pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill
into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and
repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly
with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger.
Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Phone best friend
to come over and help.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get friend to hold head firmly with one hand while
forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new
ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and
set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get friend to lie on cat with head just visible from below
armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down
drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans. Apply Band-Aid to friend's
forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close
door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill
down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold
compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply compress to
cheek to disinfect. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor
who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to
leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Get parent to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill:
1) Wrap it in bacon.

 

Lloyd - ROTFLMAO...!!!