I really need some advice.......marriage in crisis.... | Page 3 | FerrariChat

I really need some advice.......marriage in crisis....

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Davey, Jun 1, 2004.

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  1. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Rossa Subscribed

    Dec 6, 2002
    79,408
    Houston, Texas
    Full Name:
    Bubba
    after you get through talking about age, you can cover adultery, past affairs, incurable STDs, AIDS, sexual preferances, ...and politics!

    None of that matters, if you love her.

    You'll get our bill, in the mail!

    Best of luck, I'm sure we all sincerely wish that for both of you.

    All you cynics be quiet!! Have Brigitte in So. Cal. bring some roses.......
     
  2. tjacoby

    tjacoby F1 Rookie

    Nov 1, 2003
    2,857
    Vancouver Canada
    Full Name:
    tj
    Sounds like you've got a whole lot bigger problems than a small lie that got stretched and backed into a corner. Who bloody cares about a few years. Get help! real help, people who know things. Not angry divorced people here.

    I'm guessing you're peeved about a lot of other things that aren't being shared here otherwise you'd not be making a mountain out of a molehill. Mellow out, she's probably totally stressed now that you've gone turtle. Sometimes really ugly things happen to good people - this is NOT one of them.

    Good luck, and go big picture!

    12 yrs and counting, and I still don't know nothin about nothin.
     
  3. darth550

    darth550 Six Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 14, 2003
    61,200
    In front of you
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    BCHC
    Actually, his name was DES, but he has sinced changed it to Carbon, for obvious reasons!

    Shhhhhhh.

    DL
     
  4. Davey

    Davey Rookie

    Jun 1, 2004
    14
    I have to thank all of you for your input. It is somewhat therapeutic.

    We talked some more last night. Truth is I can't picture my life without her. It's going to take some time to build the trust up again. I've already invested a total of 5 years of my life in this, it would seem a waste to throw it all away. This is my first marriage, and I certainly waited long enough to take the plunge (got married at 34). The reason why I waited as long as I did is because I do take marriage seriously, and I only wanted to do it once. The reason why I married her is because of who she is, and how she makes me feel. I have pictured growing old with her, and that is what I will try to do.

    Once again, thanks all.
     
  5. Dr C

    Dr C Formula Junior

    Dec 1, 2002
    480
    Kansas City
    Full Name:
    Ed
    When you consider the number of marriages that fail secondary to alcoholism, drug abuse, infidelity, compulsive buying, etc., being off a couple of years in age isn't even a white lie.

    My rule of thumb is: if you can stand your soul mates worst traits for the rest of your life, go for it. If telling a "lie" about her age is the worst thing she has done, go the course. I'm not even sure that most women consider variations about their age a lie.

    Good relationships are rare these days. If it's no worse than you have described here, you're a very lucky man.

    married 33 years and counting. Smartest decision I ever made.
     
  6. millemiglia

    millemiglia Formula Junior

    Jan 14, 2003
    925
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Full Name:
    Peter B.
    Amen to that!
    Being a happily married man (five years), it's a comfort to read about long-lasting happy mariages.
    Especially these days when most people don't seem to take marriages very seriously...
    // Peter
     
  7. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
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    Dec 6, 2002
    79,408
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    See????

    Great Post Jacoby!!!! ROTFLMAO!!

    I think we have a happy ending here, at the minimum, great advice.

    I'm NOT bitter about my divorce. As I told her: "I'm not leaving you for someone else....I'm leaving you for the whole REST OF THE WORLD!!"

    Throw another log in that trash barrel, would ya? It's gettin' low....

    Speedy"Out by the tracks"308
     
  8. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
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    Dec 6, 2002
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    Bubba
    #58 BigTex, Jun 2, 2004
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  9. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
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    Bubba
    Go tell her we talked you into a good used 308GTB.

    I wanna know the response!!!!! :)

    Come out for a drive sometime!!

    This was a good thread. I was getting bored with 308 wheels and carb jetting questions......
     
  10. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
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    #60 BigTex, Jun 2, 2004
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  11. Stackhouse

    Stackhouse F1 Rookie
    Consultant

    Feb 14, 2004
    4,737
    IN YOUR TRUNK
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    CT.. AKA Pimp Daddy
    LAMO !! :)
     
  12. normhuff

    normhuff Formula Junior

    Dec 14, 2003
    716
    Peoria, IL
    Full Name:
    J. Norman Huff, Esq.
    I'll throw my two pennies into the mix by stating my parents were only married once, but it was late in life with the old man at 52 and my mom at 39, a 13-year age difference. They stayed married all their life, and my mom never re-married after the old man’s death. The age issue is nothing extraordinary, but the deception would be my only concern. Here I can relate another story…

    A female friend in her mid-20s was dating a local Marine who was stationed at a recruiting center in the area. They liked each other quite a bit. He offered her a marriage proposal under the condition that she would have to move with him overseas and live on a base in Japan. I won’t go into further detail, but the entire arrangement sounded hokey and my advice to her was to turn him down, which she did after first chastising me for not liking the guy.

    Once the soldier gets back to Japan, he dumps his soul out to my female friend back in the States and asks for forgiveness by not telling her that he was actually divorced and had two children from the previous marriage. I know some of these things sound suspicious and like soap operas, but I could only be thankful my friend didn’t go along with the marriage idea in this particular instance. Otherwise, she would’ve arrived at a strange, overseas land to find out she was married and (oh, by the way) an instant stepmother. Thankfully in this case, things turned out okay.

    I guess my point is you’re not the first one to have been lied to in a relationship, and I imagine many others have been in far worse predicaments. Good luck…
     
  13. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
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    BTT Is all OK now?????? Post a pic!
     
  14. mike

    mike Formula Junior

    Nov 2, 2003
    721
    Colorado
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    Mike
    Forrgettabout it! You admit that you enjoy each other, and have had a good time move past this and continue with your previous enjoyment of each other!
     
  15. Davey

    Davey Rookie

    Jun 1, 2004
    14
    We have begun the rebuilding process, which will definitely take some time. It's difficult to be affectionate at this point, but I imagine that will come back as the trust begins to build again.

    I just want to get back to where we were before all of this started and I have committed myself to this path.

    Thank you for all of your well wishings.
     
  16. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
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    Dec 6, 2002
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    Don't carry past transgressions, like stones in your backpack.

    Take them out, set them down on the road of life, and continue your travels with a lighter load.

    Sounds like you are still seeing thru your eyes, without understanding her motivation. Do you think she really meant to hurt you with the deception?

    I wouldn't think so.........

    Are you religious? There's the the part about "forgive MY trespasses, as I forgive those who trespass against ME", but if you don't know that one it won't work for you.

    My ex and I still attend the same congregation, you see. Pics are side by side in the photo directory. Mr. Leach and his kids,.....Ms. Leach and her kids,..... and it's the same kids! LOL!

    'Corse I leave in the Ferrari after service, she has a Honda Van. I pay for all of it.
     
  17. UroTrash

    UroTrash Four Time F1 World Champ
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    Jan 20, 2004
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    Clifford Gunboat


    Now there's some stinking reality fer ya.
     
  18. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
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    Well, it's worth it. I traded a Size 12 for a Size 2! :)

    That smiley's not big enought to describe the feeling! ^^^^^^^^^^
     
  19. Tomf-1

    Tomf-1 F1 Rookie

    Jan 17, 2004
    4,528
    Leawood KS/ South FL
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    Thomas

    Alan----LOL.... You are a baaaaad....baaaaad boy.
    I guess I shall spare Davey all my disfuntional marital advices...lol.
     
  20. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
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    Dec 6, 2002
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    Bubba
    Well, at least the PARROT is still talking to you!!!!

    You'd better brush up on some sweet talk, my friend!! :)
     

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