Is there a conspiracy at Crystal Cove ?

My vast right wing conspiracy side of me tells me the flyer, which has been circulated over the last few weeks, is actually an internal memo from the home office of Starbuck to the local store manager. As a corporate type, I’ll do my best to translate this flyer into the actual internal memo.

Please spread the word! The Irvine Company has now given their stamp of approval for our weekly Saturday morning cruise at Crystal Cove shopping center.

[Translation: Store Manager: If you don’t keep those car guys drinking our over priced coffee, you will be the next manager at our new Tim Horton’s Yukon Territories store (sorry Canada.]

After months of frustration and serious thoughts about having to move to a new location, we can now relax and enjoy one of the great venues in the world for car guys to swap stories and admire each other’s cars. Where else can you go to find a half-mile of unobstructed ocean view and hundreds of rare collector cars on display every Saturday morning?

[Translation: The Dana Point location (franchisee) is willing to cut down trees and mow down buildings to improve the view and attract the car guys. So,

Out of respect for the homeowners just above the shopping center who like to sleep in on Saturday mornings, we are not entering the parking lot until 7:00 AM. And, out of appreciation for the store operators at the center, we need you to shop at their stores and tell them how much we appreciate their allowing us to use their parking lot.

[Translation: in order to compete with the Dana Point Location and to show appreciation for the car guy’s patronage, you are authorized to offer between 7:00 AM and 9:00 AM each Saturday reserved complimentary parking with security guards to protect the cars from damage and unworthy onlookers. All unworthy cars will be kept out and away from the public at all costs and civil decorum. Finally, ]

We have become welcomed guests at the center because of our sensitivity to sound levels and our collective thoughtfulness for those leveling the premise litter free every week. Thanks for doing that. You make us proud of car guys!

[Translation: Your requisition to add staff has been granted. We made a concession with the local homeowners and agreed to let you hire a number of their undocumented workers to help clean up the parking lot.]

Seriously, I’d be OK with the whole lining up and staying out if the Irvine Company would not cordon off the lots and try to manage the traffic. Still trying to figure out what concessions were made to keep us there and not go to the alternate location. IMHO nothing has changed

Mark