SOMETIMES MONEY ISN"T EVERYTHING........

Bruce: I can see why you are so admired here on F Chat. You are, as they might say here in Great Neck, a mensch.

 

Bruce, you are correct, a giant promotion can never replace the time spent with your daughter.

I am sure that the President of your company will understand 100%.
You are a class act.

Best
John

 

So...... where do I send my resume? Bruce, a very admirable thing you're doing.

 

Good move, Bruce. How's Andrea's recovery going?

 

Bruce,

How about this: I move to MI, pretend I'm you and we split the income See Goodwill Hunting (reeeeetainer!). In all seriousness I think you made a good decision.

 

[SAY HELLO TO YOUR WIFE FOR ME

B[/QUOTE]

Why does everyone always say that?

 

And now an alternate view:

With that kind of cash, you could probably afford to stash away all kinds of money to help your daughter throughout her future, as well as fly her out to your new home in St. Louis any time it could be arranged. And her horizons would also be broadened by visiting St. Louis and the surrounding midwest.

I just wonder what the CEO's opinion of you will be when you turn down such a plum offer. Sometimes such offers come along only once, because when the big guys upstairs learn that you DO NOT want to accept their offers, they don't bother offering you anything anymore. The fast track is full of people who know a good thing when they are offered it, and if you turn it down, somebody else will just step up to the plate and hit the home run.

And isn't the cost of living a bit lower in St. Louis compared to New Jersey therefore making you're finacial situation even that much better after the move?

 

Bruce, I've got an idea. I've been involved in the electronics world since I was in high school. Since I'm down here in Little Rock, Arkansas, I would be more than happy to drive to St.Louis every few months for some fat consulting fees. I already know all the essential data such as: D cells, C cells, A, AAA, alkaline, ni-cad, ohhhh and here's a nice one; nickel hydride!!! See, I know the jargon. And don't even get me started on lead acid versus marine batteries. And don't forget GEL-CELLS!!! I'm getting all giddy just thinking of the possibilities. I can smell that new Ferrari already. And I already know ONE person in St.Louis.
Do I get to pick my company car? Geeee, I wonder what it will be????

 

Bruce:

Take the job. I will be chaning my name to Bruce Wellington tomorrow so that I can start my new job next week. Law school has stripped me of all my morals, so I will buy myself a new family after the big move. I can learn to love St. Louis.

Seriously, your decision does not surprise me. Typical Bruce Wellington.

Ken

 

Bruce
On 9/11 I was sitting next to my partner. He was talking on the phone to his son when the plane hit and killed him. From that moment on I KNEW that all that matters is the one's you love. The rest does not matter.
Best
Jim

 

That's a tough one to turn down. Hell of a offer.I must admit I have a huge amount of respect for you Bruce.You only get to watch her grow up once.

 

Bruce, I am very impressed. You are a noble father.

Did you talk to your daughter about it? What does she want you to do?

The reason I ask is my parents are divorced, and my father moving around hasn't been that bad. There are some big differences though - my dad's in the Air Force, so he's always been moving, and I grew up only spending holidays and summer vacation with him. He is also remarried with two other kids though, and I don't know if you have any other kids, so that might be a factor (my dad could stay busy with the other kids at home).

Then again, if you're already stable, own your own business and meeting your own needs, then a 'promotion' might not mean as much. I guess I just want to say me personally, as someone who grew up in a (albeit different) divorce situation, would not be against my Dad having to take such measures (heck, I WISH my Dad could get an offer like that, but that's a different story).

But I think Jim is 100% right.

-Ryan

 

Bruce, you're a good man, even if you are a yankee

Actually, I'll make you a bet. Within 5 years, you'll be making that much money or more by staying right where you are. Making money is a result, not a goal. I'm convinced that if you focus on doing the right things in life and keeping your options open as opposed to putting on blinders and following the straight and narrow that good things will come your way.

For example, about 5 years ago, a major deal that I had been busting my butt on 24/7 blew down and left me dazed and confused. I think my net income for that year was $600. No joke. If the deal had worked, I would have been making in the 7 figures.

With nothing on the horizon, I decided to spend more time working with my son, who coincidentally was 11. My goal was to teach him that if you beat your head against the wall, it hurts. Therefore, don't beat your head against the wall.

Sounds silly, but nobody ever told me this when I was 11 or 16 or 22. Indeed, it took me a very long time to figure this one out. My thought was that if I could just pass on this one nugget, my son would do a lot better than me. For example, school works a whole lot better if you kiss the teacher's ass instead of being a tough guy. Do that and your homework and life is not that hard.

Well, I'm proud to say that it worked. My son transformed himself from a video game playing fat ass to a A+ student athlete. Of course, now that he is almost 17, he has discovered girls and doesn't need Dad any more. In fact, he told me recently that he is going to write a book about everything that a man needs to know about women.

As it turned out, falling flat on my butt created a golden opportunity to spend time with my son. At 11 and 12, he was still willing to pay attention to what I was saying. Now that he is 16 that window has closed for some time to come.

Money wise, I haven't missed a beat. Yeah, the first year or so was a bit tight. But then this deal came along, and that deal came along and next time you know old Jeb is not quite a millionaire and he ain't moving to Beverly Hills with the swimming pools and movie stars, but I'm not complaining.

So howza bout we agree to meet in 5 years? I'll bet you that you'll owe me a steak dinner.

Congrats on your decision and keep on keeping on, Dale

 

Bruce: I respect and admire your decision. I was given a similar offer twenty two years ago. Move to Dallas with two 3 year olds (twins), move away from my folks, church, friends, travel 3-5 nights a week. Decided to stay, best decision I ever made. Interestingly, less than one year later I left the company, (Southland Corp.) Two years later I was president of another company, 13 years ago we took it private. Sales this year exceeded $1Billion. I still can't believe it. I guess I would much rather be lucky than smart. You are doing the right thing. My sons are grown, I got to be involved in every aspect of thier growth. Got to go to the school plays, concerts, graduations. Married one of the guys last April ( I even got to do the service!). What I thought I was giving up was of no value to what I have gained. The business was a side benefit but no where near as important as my sons! Our Bibles share the book of Ecclesiastes. Solomon missed out on what was truly important by forgetting who he was and seeking all that the world offered. He ended life pretty miserable. You are a great dad, you daughter will always remember that she is more important to you then anything else and when you are old, she will always be there for you. Remember the Harry Chapin song, "Cats in the Cradle"? Way to go my friend! Small wonder so many people respect you. I do.

BTW: My sons still come to see us every week several times, and watch Monster Garage, American Chopper and other stimulating intellectual shows. I wouldn't miss a minute, they even are willing to say, "I love you dad" in public no less. It doesn't get any better than that!!! I can die happy.

 

Wow, I'm stunned. Jim, not to steal Bruce's thunder, but I'm curious. Have folks in New York pretty much forgotten 9/11? Has everybody gone back to thinking the way they were before, or does it, every now and then, come rushing back make you realize that things will never be the same again?

For most of us out here in the hinterlands, 9/11 was a stunning TV event, and over time, the memory gets fuzzier and fuzzier. Once again, I'm just curious. If you'd rather let sleeping dogs lie, I'll understand. But your post just brought it all back home to me.

All the best, Dale

 

Bruce, What can I say? You are THE MAN! So many people are hung up on the wrong things. Your decision is a noble one!

Regards,

DL

 

Bruce,
Maybe you can have your cake and eat it too.
Move the WHOLE family including the ex and daughter to the same area. You get the job and your daughter. Ex gets more child support/ alimony. Win/win sit.
Good luck.

 

Don't be a fool Bruce...you can always make another one of those and get 24/7 visitation rights just kidding.....

Does that mean I should stop looking for that Enzo you asked me for?

Hard to make those decisions. Maybe by declining the bosses may see the value in you even more. family man and such. St. Louis to New Jersey is not that much flying time. You could shuttle. Keep the house in Jersey and see your daughter on those weekends.

There may be a way.

Ask your bosses if and how they thisnk they can accommodate you.

 

For that kind of cash in St.Louis you could take your ex and her family with you! You will need a maid in your new Mansion!