Subject: Calories It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present the results. REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent.................................12 Calories Without her consent............................2187 Calories OPENING HER BRA: With both hands.................................8 Calories With one hand...................................12 Calories With your teeth.................................485 Calories PUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection..................................6 Calories Without an erection............................3315 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary..........................................12 Calories 69 lying down...................................78 Calories 69 standing up..................................812 Calories Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories Doggy Style......................................326 Calories Italian chandelier.............................2912 Calories ORGASMS: Real.............................................112 Calories Fake............................................1315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 20-29 years....................................36 Calories 30-39 years....................................80 Calories 40-49 years....................................124 Calories 50-59 years....................................1972 Calories 60-69 years....................................7916 Calories 70 and over....................................Results are still pending DRESSING AFTERWARDS: Calmly............................................................32 Calories In a hurry.....................................................98 Calories With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories Results may vary. The study also indicates that fantasizing about a different partner during sex increases the pleasure and intensity of orgasm, but calorie utilization is not indicated. __________________________________ DL
