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16 Things...

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by 134282, Mar 17, 2004.

  1. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Aug 3, 2002
    40,647
    California
    Full Name:
    Carbon McCoy
    SIXTEEN THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN

    by Dave Barry


    1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
    pill and a laxative on the same night.

    2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
    has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full
    potential, that word would be "meetings."

    3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

    4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost
    never want you to share yours with them.

    5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

    6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

    7. Never lick a steak knife.

    8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

    9. You will never find anybody who can give you a
    clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

    10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
    suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an
    actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

    11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
    make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

    12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
    gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
    down
    inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

    13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a
    nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

    14. Your friends love you anyway.

    15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
    built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

    16. FINAL Thought for the day: Men are like a fine wine. They start
    out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out
    of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner
    with.
     
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  3. formula1joe

    formula1joe Formula Junior

    Nov 3, 2003
    436
    Atlanta, GA
    Full Name:
    Joe Bennett
    That was actually a good read and many truths come out of it.
     
  4. Tyler

    Tyler F1 Rookie

    Dec 19, 2001
    4,274
    dusty old farm town
    Full Name:
    Tyler
    Great post Carbon, lot of truths in there. I just love Dave Barry. :)
     

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