599GTB: What's in a name?

Is anybody else bugged by the 599GTB name attached to
the newest creation from Maranello?

It sounds like it's constantly on sale.

Does Ferrari believe that they'll sell more product
than if it were named the 600GTB because it sounds like
a bargain? What if they have to offer incentives? Will
it become the 499GTB? Maybe they should take a page from
one of Ronco's infomercials. They could put "699GTB" on the
car with a line drawn thru it, followed by "599GTB". Today
only, and only if you call within the next 30 minutes.
Do you suppose "3 Easy Payments of 199GTB" would fit on
the decklid?

Usually the numerical part of a Ferrari model designation
represents in some way the engine. (F40 and F50 a couple
of examples that don't.) To the uninitiated looking at
the succession of names like 308, 348, 355, 512, 612, etc.,
599 would seem to mean 5.9L with either 9 cylinders or
9 valves. Or maybe 5.0L with 99 cylinders. (If it needed
a spark plug change, the car would be a total......)

The "GTB" suffix is a nice throwback to earlier times.
But to be consistent, the name should be 500GTB, as the
numerical part of the older V12 cars represented the
swept volume of a single cylinder. However, I'm sure
that Ferrari thought this would be a step down from
Maranellos 550 and 575. 600GTB would have been a nice
next step up, tho.

As mentioned elsewhere, "GTB" hints that there might be
a "GTS". Whatever that is. Used to mean Spider, but it
seems to mean Targa these days. Buy a 355 if you want
to get real confused.

After a bit of research, I finally discovered the true
meaning of the "S" in "GTS". It's "Sergio, you forgotta
the roof!". In English, this translates to "Still leaking".

OK, I'll reluctantly admit to knowing the real reason behind
the "599" label. I found this out after quite a bit of
research, much of it coerced from fired CIA agents so I know
it's accurate. Do you wake up in the middle of the night, roll
over and look at your bedside digital clock and see Ferrari
model numbers? It seems I always wake up to 3:08 or 4:12 or
3:55 or whatever. Once I woke up and the clock read "ENZO".
Then I realized that I was still dreaming. Or else the clock's
broke. Ferrari marketing wisely took advantage of the invention
of the affordable digital clock in the late '70s and issued
an "Official Policy" statement. This translates into Italian
as "Orzo Pasta". It says: "From this day forward, all
Ferrari model numbers will be displayable on a digital
clock." This was read aloud in the Maranello town square
by Augustus Caeser hisself (Julius wasn't available because
of some sort of knife accident). No one heard it, however,
as F1 testing was being conducted at Fiorano. The "Official
Policy" (aka "Orzo Pasta") was tremendously successful, as
Ferrari sales have exploded since that time. The subliminal
effect of these digital numbers rolling by in the middle of
the night have had a dramatic impact on the psyche of car nuts
globally.

But times change. In recent years it's been realized that
demand needs to be cooled off a bit. As such, around the turn
of the millenia, the "Official Policy" (aka "Orzo Pasta") was
amended: "There shall be at least one vehicle in the Ferrari
model lineup that CAN'T be displayed on a digital clock."
Thus the 355 was replaced by the 360. (It should be noted that
if "360" is entered on my microwave oven it cooks for 4 minutes.
But if I enter "308", it overheats and leaks oil. Go figure...)
This seems to have worked, as waiting lines are now down to
a year or so. However, a problem loomed on the horizon.
The 612 was introduced, and it clearly is displayable. But
the 360 replacement would be a clock compatible 430. So
in a last minute effort, the 575 replaced the 550. Whew.
Now to the present. The Maranello series is growing a bit
old. It's replacement would be a 6.0L V12, thus giving us
the name 600GTB (or 500GTB - see above). But these are
clock displayable. What to do? Some unimiginative twit
came up with the "Official Policy, Amended" compatible 599.

"599" entered on my microwave gives Orzo Pasta, al dente.

Hans.

 

Hi Dom. GT4's doing well. It turned over 30K miles right on it's 30th birthday on Apr 3rd. Got photos with cake, etc.

Haven't put many miles on the car just recently as I've been real busy building a Lotus 7 clone kit car.

Hans.