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a famous hunter walks into a bar...

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Cicada, Feb 24, 2006.

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  1. Cicada

    Cicada Formula 3

    May 22, 2005
    2,439
    Indian Wells, CA
    Full Name:
    Bryan
    #1 Cicada, Feb 24, 2006
    and sits down. A man comes up and asks "are you the man that can tell what animal was killed with what gun all while keeping your eyes closed"...he replies "I am" astonished a few in the bar ask him if he'll go out back and indentify their recent kills and what they were killed with...he says sure but for each animal I and weapon I get correct you buy me a drink, they all agreed. They blind fold him and head out back...first attempt...the man runs his fingers along the fur of the animal finds the wound and replies "Deer, shot just behind the left shoulder blade with a 22"...impressed they buy him a drink...round two again he runs his finger along the animal and says "racoon shot with a 12 guage close range, no more than 12 feet away"...very impressed they buy him another drink. Round three, four and five go off the same way, the man is nailing the animals and weapons used to kill them.

    Finally the guy gets a cab to take him home as he's too drunk to drive. He comes home crawls in bed and goes to sleep...

    He wakes up the next morning with a black eye and asks his wife "I new I got hammered last night but I dont remember any fights and I wasn't drunk enough to not remember a fight" she says "you weren't in a fight", he replies "what? then why do I have a black eye" she replied "you came home last night crawled into bed where you stuck your hand down my pants and yelled SKUNK! killed by an axe"
     
  2. F328 BobD

    F328 BobD Formula 3

    Mar 17, 2001
    2,327
    Southlake, TX
    Full Name:
    BobD
    #2 F328 BobD, Feb 24, 2006
    A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch and water. The bartender looks at him and says, "So what's with the long face?"

    [I like the short ones]
     
  3. Cicada

    Cicada Formula 3

    May 22, 2005
    2,439
    Indian Wells, CA
    Full Name:
    Bryan
    #3 Cicada, Feb 24, 2006
    hah.
     
  4. UroTrash

    UroTrash Four Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 20, 2004
    40,697
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    Clifford Gunboat
    #4 UroTrash, Feb 24, 2006
    A seal pup walks into a club.
     
  5. ^@#&

    ^@#& F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Feb 27, 2005
    12,091
    #5 ^@#&, Feb 24, 2006
    hahahahaha
     
  6. WarrenF355

    WarrenF355 Formula 3

    Dec 29, 2004
    1,000
    Newburgh, IN
    Full Name:
    Warren M. Rogers
    #6 WarrenF355, Feb 24, 2006
    A cowboy's walking down the street and sees a Native American chief running in circles on the sidewalk. He walks into the bar and says "Hey-- someone left thir injun runnin'."
     
  7. dm_n_stuff

    dm_n_stuff Four Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 10, 2003
    43,881
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    Dave M.
    #7 dm_n_stuff, Feb 24, 2006
    Two Irish guys walk out of a bar.
























































    Hey, it could happen...






    (Blame Carbon for this one.)
     
  8. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
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    Tony H
    #8 tonyh, Feb 24, 2006
    The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff.
    He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
    He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night.
    She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the boss approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
    Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like sh*t."
     
  9. Gilles27

    Gilles27 F1 World Champ

    Mar 16, 2002
    13,337
    Ex-Urbia
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    Jack
    #9 Gilles27, Feb 24, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
    Actually, it wasn't a horse...
    Image Unavailable, Please Login
     

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