A little humor for the tool lovers amongst us

Haha, some are pretty true. Hose cutter for one I have done, someone marked it wrong, I should've measured it again, but dumbass me, went straight to cutting.

 

measure twice, cut once...

 

haha, that's pretty good, one of my friends got his index finger caught in between the tool rest of a lathe and the piece of wood he was turning back in high school, still has a pretty good scar from it.

 

ever know something is going to go bad, but you do it anyway?

I got a box of heavy stuff today, so it was in a double-thick corrugated cardboard box with tons of staples all over it. So, I figured I'd just slice the end open and slide the parts out. I was in my chair, so I hoisted one end up onto my leg, and sliced one edge away from me, the other edge upwards, but the last edge was too awkward to slice away from me, so I had to slide the knife towards my leg. I was thinking "I should reposition this box because this knife is going to slip out and slice my leg". Then I realized I was too lazy to move it. Then I sliced the razor knife right into my leg... about 1/4" deep, exposing the white fatty goodness below the skin.

Probably ought to get it stitched, but it's only about 1" long... it'll have to heal on it's own.

 

Have you seen the photos of that horrible lathe accident? If you have seen them, you know. <shudder>

 

The dumbest thing i have ever seen was a tech cutting off the cardboard on a bike crate holding a razor blade with a vice grip... To make a long story short he put a nice 5" slice across his chest.

 

i was actually there when it happened, all i can say is ouch.

 

Good morning laugh, thanks!

 

Great thread, that stuff is really funny. Since I don't usually use tools, and usually misappropriate their functionality (subsequently making me a tool), a lot of those descriptions were accurate and hilarious.

Krazy Glue, man - that stuff stops the bleeding instantly!


Back when I worked at Pizza Hut - a lifetime ago - part of my job was fetching boxes of frozen dough discs from the freezer, removing the frozen stacks from the boxes and separating the discs from one another. If there was ever a formal tool designed to separate these frozen dough slabs from each other, I don't know what it is. I was instructed to execute this task with a knife. Well, the bigger the knife, the easier to separate, right...?

Riiiiiiiiight...

So there I am, propping and holding a stack of frozen dough discs on their side with one hand, while I wedge a huge blade between two slabs with the other hand. Damn it if they weren't even more frozen than usual, requiring more force. As I futilely negotiated the knife between the dough, I put some elbow grease into it and SHUNK! Nearly took the side of my right ring finger knuckle off!

After my limp finger began dribbling life liquid all over the dough, I composed a makeshift splint - complete with a toothpick and way too many paper towels - and promptly separated and moved the dough (all of it!) to its next station (I was 16 and feared losing my job). It looked just like tomato sauce anyway. If you got a personal pan pizza from the Pizza Hut in Pleasantville, New York, 13 years ago, print this post out and go sue them.

 

Thanks Carbon you have ruined Pizza Hut forever for me

 

Very funny!

 

stop peeking into my workshop. i have a lovely scar across the middle of my palm from when a screwdriver and a recalcitrant oyster conspired aganst me.

 

LOL @ list.

I have two parallel scars on my left index finger from an object that went a-spinnin' from a drill press bite. From this I learned why my father always said to have a few C-clamps handy in the workshop.

 

Hammer - also called a FORD WRENCH.

 

yea, to stop the bleeding.