Not too sure why I'm posting this here, or why I'm even posting this at all, perhaps because there are so many wise people on this board? Anyway, here goes. Me and this one girl were going out for a long time throughout high school and into the first couple years of college. Things got a little rocky during the early college years, but we still we're together on and off. During this time I fell in love with her pretty hard. She, too, fell in love, as much as I did? I'm not sure. Here we are entering our fourth year of college together. We've been apart for about 8 months now, and she's since been seeing this other guy who she has since fallen in love with as well, and is pretty head over heels for him. This pretty much hurts a bit for myself, although I'd still like to keep in contact and remain friends, but it's tough. I'm interested in hearing what fellow fchatters insights are into what a young lad should do. Should I try to be friends, or would I be best off just getting her out of my life altogether? Or, perhaps something completely different. Thanks in advance for any input you have.
Cut your losses and move on. Sounds harsh but that is the way it is, you are in college and young don't beat yourself up by chasing someone who is no longer interested. Trust me.
Hunter Thompson always said:"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours .... if it doesn't, hunt it down and KILL it!" She moved on in 8 months. You need to take less.
Are there other girls at this college? Nail them (repeatedly, this is the one time that coming off as a down-trodden nice guy can work to your advantage) and send your ex lots of explicit pics on your current conquests. Or maybe you'd like to waste the next couple of years pining away for her? Move on! C.
Wow, 6 replies at 2am, impressive. So it looks like I should move on, I just may have to do that. I like the quote by Hunter Thompson. I have thought about turning gay, it would definatly help out the situation, however, I simply love women too much. I forgot to mention, I have moved on sort of as well (I've been with a few girls since).
Oh yeah, she seems real choked up about missing you with her new BF by her side. Forget about being "just friends" that will not work either. You lived, you learned, move on. Distract yourself with new girls as soon as possible. Some will stay around longer than others, but get used to the turnover. One day, you may understand my quote: "Mean is the fist of a man, evil is the heart of a woman" Good luck in your journey. - Gabe
Ditto the above. Why aren't you out finding the next ex-gf? If its tail you want, go get some. If its a relationship you want, go get some tail and then see what happens. If she's talking to you still, you're being her emotional crutch. If you're getting tail from her on the side, do you want to keep that person any closer than arms length? The only thing you should share with your ex is a 3+ way. I don't mean any disrespect, but you gotta guard those feelings of yours regardless if you're chasing women or being chased. Especially if you want to be more than a notch on a woman's belt or offer her more when the time for a relationship comes! Sunny
Absolutely move on. Both of you may have been in love with each other at one point, but it didn't stick with either of you, since you both found other companions. Are you perhaps disappointed that it was so easy for her to forget you? That's a minor ego thing and nothing to waste time over. A new honey will do more than anything else to solve that.
Oh man. I had this SAME experience back at college. She moved on because Mr.Slowass (yours truly) didnt have the balls to make a move in time. She got impatient. The only difference is, we had remained great friends after our little on and off thing because we were working on a lot of design projects together. She, like your chick, met a guy and she is still with him at the moment. 4 years later. What I had learnt from that experience was, if you really want her, GO GET HER. Life is too short dude. So she has a BF? Thats not a diesese. The point is, you love this girl, she is alive and right there. GET HER. At least try. Because the truth is, if you wuss out and let this dude invade your turf, your gonna be wondering your whole life what IF. And if your experience was anything like mine, I was heartbroken and FUBAR for quite a while. It took me a while to get over it, but I must admit I wasn't a MAN back then. I handled it by hitting the gym, grew some pecs and biceps; Dont do the same mistake I did. Be a man, and go get your woman. If she still chooses the other guy over you, then move on and BE FRIENDS. Itt'l be hard on you, but REMAIN FRIENDS. You have no idea how much that messes with their heads trust me. At the end of the day, you gotta remember, women dont really know what they want. EVER. You gotta tell em/show them what they want and theyll want it. Id also like to add, I think shes just interested in this guy and telling you about it in order to get you to make a move. Thats always the ace up womens sleeves when seducing prey. Goodluck.
I need to wake up. You've been apart for 8 months, and she's head over heels in love with this guy? No. More likely she's heels next to her head and screaming out someone's name that isn't yours when her body explodes into orgasmic delight. I have just summed up 8 months of fun that you haven't been having into one easy concept. She is screwing both of you at once. Guess who is having more fun? Clue: it isn't you. College is FULL of women who are willing sex vending machines. Seek them out. Jump them. Wear protection and don't get phone numbers.
Well, you might remember her name, but it won't matter. Move on. There are plenty of girls out there.
Sloppy seconds. Screw the friends thing. If you are at that point after a failed sexual romp, then she's just entertaining you. Walk away. If you really want to get back at her, screw her mortal enemy. This pays dividends that I cannot begin to explain. No. They know exactly what they want all the time.
Although I do agree with you in that sense, what I was saying was if he is IN LOVE with her, he should go get her. Not beg, not ask, but get her. Not getting sloppy seconds, but taking back what he wants. After that he may do as he pleases. In saying that, I myself am in my early 20's and probably not as experienced as many of the older folk here so my advice is to be taken on its own merits. And the friends thing? What I meant was that he will be seeing her at college here and there, their in their 4th year together. If she see's that he tries to avoid her it will give her the upperhand. ***c that. Have lunch with her. I concur about screwing her mortal enemy. I know exactly the dividends you talk of. However Im not too sure if thats best for his own sense of self.
Yeh. 8 months and he's still in love with her. Get real. She has. Wait, wait. An Fchatter came out with a video game that details this very same scenario. Oh yeah! It's called ShimCity.
Never thought this would be my first post on fchat.... but what the hell I was in a similar situation, dated a girl for a year in High School, and continued for the first three years of college. I was in school in Boston, her in San Diego, we saw each other once a semester, either she flew out or I flew out to see her..... it was a pain in the ass. We broke it off a few months ago and things have been going suprisingly well. She now has a new boy friend and I've been having some fun I have called her up a few times to talk and catch up and we talk on AIM a occasionaly. If you haven't seen her in 8 months, sounds like you are far apart and if she is seeing a guy as well, that's just bad news right there. Finish up college and then see what both your feelings are towards each other and where you both are in your lives and take it from there. It's college...... meet people! by the way.... love the forum!
