Alcohol consumption. | FerrariChat

Alcohol consumption.

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Fan512bbi, Jan 12, 2006.

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  1. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Mar 25, 2004
    20,938
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Steve.
    CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL WARNING

    Due to increasing products liability, alcoholic beverages manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning label be placed immediately on all bottles:

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a w@nker.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your clothes.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name, and/or species you can't remember).

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
     
  2. Buzz48317

    Buzz48317 F1 Rookie

    Dec 5, 2005
    2,862
    Shelby Twp., MI
    Full Name:
    Michael
    Aint that the truth
     
  3. quartermaster

    quartermaster Formula 3

    Sep 11, 2005
    1,826
    Let's add:
    Warning: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you are making an intelligent or humorous 'post' on FerrariChat!
    Note, 512BBi: This is NOT directed at you or this thread!
    I particularly liked the '...laughing with you...' warning...
    Keith
     
  4. ferrari_kid

    ferrari_kid Formula Junior

    Jul 5, 2003
    768
    they really should put a few of those on bottles, but you'll be too drunk to remember the warning or read it off the bottle anyway.
     
  5. Ciao Bello 348

    Ciao Bello 348 Formula 3

    Oct 3, 2005
    1,844
    The Garden State, US
    Full Name:
    John C
  6. jungathart

    jungathart Guest

    Jun 11, 2004
    3,376
    NoVA, AmeriKa
    Full Name:
    Komrade Jung
    Damn! I thought this was an open invitation to a party....Damn again!
     
  7. HUTCH91TR

    HUTCH91TR F1 Rookie

    Nov 7, 2003
    2,894
    Charlotte, NC
    Full Name:
    Hutch
    To alcohol!!! the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems :) !!!!!

    Words of wisdom from Homer J. Simpson.
     

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