All BS aside. Are you happy?

Serious question.

Are you happy with your life?
Be honest with us here.

Me:
At the moment, im about 60% happy. Work is killing me at the moment, and with little Mike's arrival aproaching rapidly, i want to be spending more time with Mrs Mike. It just aint workin out.

I need to take some time off, but that will sink the ship. Sort of a lose/lose situation. Backed up in a corner, its not where i want to be.

And ive been losing interest in alot of things lately. I dont know what that is. Probably just need to take some time off.


Like to hear others perspectives.

 

Stop inviting Max around so much and you'll probably be rejuvinated.

All things aside and in all seriousness, everyone has their moments where you're feeling disappointed about something, but is this the only thing you can ***** about?

Be thankful you have a wife, a son on the way, family, friends, a career, and toys. Your son will have food, shelter, health care, education, hell.. you even have FerrariChat.

I'm very happy and I have family, friends, and sort of a career. You're either being selfish or you're carrying around too much regret. I've been doing exactly what makes me happy since I left home 10 years ago and I've had zero reason to continue anything differently. Time to do some soul searching, I'd say.

Sunny

 

Mike,
The balance is tipped too far to one side for you at the moment. Take note of that and try to remember that life isn't and won't be like this forever. It's hard to see that when it's coming at you from all sides. It doesn't hurt to talk about it with somebody on a regular basis too, sort of clears the air and helps to recharge for the next effort.

60% for me too, well, maybe 70%.

I have had a very challenging year where everything has broken down, malfunctioned or just needed time and money thrown at it, by the shovel full. It's been really hard to see my way clear of it, currently working 60+ hours a week and my 308 still isn't drivable since April, plus I just hit the "big five oh". Finally the light I see at the end of the tunnel may not be an oncoming train..................................................otherwise I think I'll just write 2005 off as one of "those" years and drive on.

I really do have a lot to be thankful for, I would just like to enjoy them a little more.

 

I'm happy "finally" as I have just received an airline ticket to Rio de Janeiro (cashed in my FF miles).......I've been working 8 days a week 25 hours a day and it's my first holiday in almost two years.......I'm self employed obviously.........gotta get a holiday away from it all..........98 days to go and counting..........heh !!

My 308 GTB has also been in the shop for 6 weeks......<sigh>

 

Be careful in Rio, it's not the safest place to visit. Theift is a big deal and they will cut you for sure. Other than that , have a good time.

 

The family thing has a tendancy to get you on a bit of a tread mill. It's tough to keep it all on the rails and stay in control. It's probably going to be an adjustment that'll take time especially with a little one on the way.

OTOH, I've chosen the single thing for now. Not that that's the answer but at least I don't have to worry about mouths to feed. There's no right answer, it's just when you've got others to worry about you just have to hussle a bit more.

I'd say I'm pretty sastified. But, you're never really there, right?.

 

Thanks for the comments guys.

I didnt mean for this thread to become a vehicle to help me with my problems. I feel like an a55 for making it come across like that.
I wanted it to become a thread for all of us to discuss it. Spasso is right. It does feel good to let someone know about it.

Sunny:
I thank god, even though i don't believe in one, that i have what i have every single day. I realise that im lucky just to have clean water. I don't tend to take things in life for granted, and appreciate the basics. I dont think my kid will be private schooled. I want them to grow up how they please. And if he or she has any of MrsMike's brains, they are gonna be a smart one!

I probably am selfish in many ways, but i didnt mean to come across like that. More than likely having a whinge, and wanted to let it out, and create a topic to let it out in, and for others to do as well.

You guys are probably right. I do need to tip the ship over towards the family. But how could i do that, and minimise the effect of the financial side of things will be a tricky one.

Keep in mind, my current state of living, is not extravagant, just comfortable.


But this thread is isnt about me
***** on!

 

Nope, I'm just ok. But I'm glad I'm just ok cause I'm not very productive when I'm happy. I don't want to be happy till I've made it to where I want to be. Then I can look back, smile, and finally relax cause because nothing else needs to be done because I'm happy. Oh yea, I'm 23 now, so I have no need for happiness till I'm 28-30

 

I have to admit.

I really came out of my early 20's with no good real "mates".
No real drunken piss up nights.
No drunken crimes.
No hoes.
No Beer.
No Max.

My peers would be partying, i was studying for my ACC331 "Auditing and Assurance Services" and LAW301 "Taxation Law (Principles)" exams.

But now, i dont look back at that with regret. Most of those guys now are living well. But have many skeletons in the closet, like drug abuse, and jail time, under their belt.
Not many are in solid relations, and many are holding sub-average incomes, with no growth.

I chose this path in life. Im happy for it. Just wish i could spend more time with the MrsMike.
Im sorta at the Crossroads. Its either Career, or Family. Wish i could have both, but i am going to pick family. Some things will have to change for us. But heck, i dont care. Time to get in touch with what is really important in life. And im sorry to say to you guys, it aint a pre order on the 600 Imola.

 

am i happy ?????? hmmmmmmm, i have to say yes, extremely.
i have a daughter now for almost 1 yr that ive always wanted, a son that is following in my foot steps [ i hope is a good thing ] and a beautiful wife that would do anything for me. im self employed and am able to offord things that i thought i never could have. live at the beach which was always a life long dream. i really dont have anything to complain about. AND i met abunch of really nice guys in person and via computer on f chat that i am honored to call my friends.
ps, very good thread mikey !!!

 

Good to hear Mate.
If anyone deserves it, you do.

Props to you man. That post just earnt you another Fosters.

 

mikey, i got lucky, very very lucky with choices that i have made in my life, mainly family. second work, i got extremely lucky and i count my blessings every day. im sure their are alot of people here that deserve it more than me, but again luck...... congrats to you and the mrs on your near new arrival..
god bless !!! your a good man....

 

Yes I am happy. My life is not perfect but there is so much good going on that is puts the not so good in perspective.
Here is readers digest of my year.

Last October break ground on home remodel/rooms addition.
Mid October San Diego begins the rainiest winter in 40+ years. =:O
I have ton of stories about living in a house that is open to the weather and full of construction debris and workers at all hours.
January, two weeks before we make final payment on the remodel, I am notified that my facility is being closed and everybody will be laid off effective in 4 weeks.
I managed to land a couple of contractor positions to keep the old income flowing. I had two job interviews last week and it looks like both are going to come through with offers for "permanent" positions.

Through it all I have had a wife that said, take your time find a good position, it is more important to find work you like.

I watched my younger son (8) catch fire on his soccer team. He is really putting his best effort into it. He went from lollygagging at the back when told to run laps to being up front.
When school started he started reading some of the Harry Potter stories and now we have to tell him to stop reading and do his other work. Before this year we really had to work on him to read.

Older son (10) has been showing increased responsibility in his cub scouting activities, he was able to carry a 25 pound pack on a trip up in the Sierras over Labor Day weekend. Best of all there was no whining about how hard it was! The Dad's were the whiners.

So there has been stress, and great things all mixed together. And I am still happy.

Erich

 

"So, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Happy"

 

Yes.

 

Yeah but you aint happy with Rob!

Thanks John.
You a good man.

Erich.
Awesome to read about your Kids development. It must be amazing to sit back and watch two individuals forming right in front of your eyes. Seeing their trials and tribulations, and helping them through it all.

I feel no pressure to mold my kids into anything. Alot of people are expecting me to raise my kid to become a partner into my current accounting practice. In all honesty, im going to goto great efforts that they stay away from this place. What they decide to do is upto them. If they decide to clean toilets for the rest of their life, i will still love them like nothing else.

Money and materialistic driven people have worn me thin these past years. I was one, and possibly still have tendencies to be like that, but im trying to get out of that. The 1st step for me was selling the fcar. Since, ive taken many steps to try and iron that out of me. Im trying to set an example, for my little ones to look up to.

 

My comments probably won't have much weight due to my age and lack of life experience, but for one reason or another I felt really compelled to post. I must say to all of those who have a loving wife and kids (or one on the way) that I am very envious of what you have as I can not think of anything that would make me more happy then a family of my own. This has been said a thousand times before, but I never really realized how true it was until recently (very rough week emotionally): Your career, friends, and everything else in life will come and ago but your family will always be there for you. And to answer the question, even with all I have been through this week, I can confidently say that I am very happy with my life as it is.

Mike360, I think the fact that you want to spend more time with your wife is a testament to the kind of person you are. Congratulations with the baby on the way; it is clear that the right person has been blessed with such a wonderful gift. This is going to seem uninspired, but you have much to be grateful for as there are many people in life who are successful in their careers but don't have the option of choosing between family and work. I, for one, would love to be in your position. I'm sure when you're holding him for the first time in that hospital that you're priorities will become immediately clear.

Again, congratulations and best wishes to you and your new family!

 

Don't you really think happiness is that thing that you only can see out of the corner of your eye when you are looking for something else? I'm most happy when i am productive, i feel appreciated, and when i have the time to devote to something i'm interested in, whether it is spending time with my wife, reading a great book on a rainy afternoon, or driving/riding, in touch with the road and feeling the spirit of freedom.

But, how do I gain those moments of happiness? I cannot be blissful all the time. They are moments that come, sometimes inadvertently (you are rolling down the road, the sun shines through the trees, and your realize, having not thought about it, that you feel absolutely great, the weather is gorgeous and you wouldn't trade places with anybody on the planet at that moment in time), or as a result of your focused efforts on some task(a job well done- and you take a moment to realize it). If the question is whether i am always 'happy,' the answer is 'of course not.' I think the only people who are probably qualify as mentally ill and deeply disturbed.

Should i be 'happy' all the time? I hope not.

Finally, are you asking whether, on balance, I am 'happy with my life,' where I am, the choices i made and make, and whether I am generally postive about the whole experience, the answer is "yes, absolutely." But, that is true, in part because i am not always happy, if that makes any sense...

 

Thank you very much for your kind words, and your input here.

I sometimes need to talk to about stuff like this, as i dont want to stress out the mum to be with this emotional crap. Its going to be a huge ride for her this next few years, and my priorities are helping her through it, not helping her through it, while dumping this **** on her.

Ill be honest. The thought of a little bub on the way makes me nervous. Im sure that when the time comes, it will be natural, but the pre-preperation and everything makes me nervous. I want to do this right. I want to make it right. No mistakes. Ive made plenty of mistakes in my life, and ive learnt from them. I dont want to make a mistake on this one, therefore i dont have anything to learn from. Im freaking out.

Once again, the intention of this thread was to talk about each others happiness, and to let it out in the open. Talk about, and call on others for their thoughts, and hope that they can provide a different perspective on it, which might make you realise something, and help you make a final decision.

And for me, that has been achieved.
With 2 weeks to the birth, ill resign my position with GC. I still have the Accountancy going, but luckily, i can sort of half work from home.

I have alot of respect for the Fchat community. Here we have a good decent group of guys, from many parts of the world, combined for our love of Ferrai's.
I dont think i could find another forum on the net with such smart, mature and level headed guys and most of you on here.

Thanks to everyone. You top notch blokes.

 

AND THAT IS IT IN A NUTSHELL! THANK YOU SIR!

 

Seriously.

You should write a book.

Hapiness is a feeling. A state of mind.
I dont want to feel happy all the time. I strive to make others happy. I make time for me to be happy. For instance, hitting my favourite road, or favourite Singletrack. But i want others to be happy. I want to provide them with all the happiness that i can provide. To my wife. To my child.

Working how i am working now, will not achieve that.

I honestly think that my ideals are mainly formed in my personality from a broken family as a child. Parents were divorced at 6. And grew up a childhood of abuse and confusion.
Never want that to happen to my little one. Hence the effort for which i want to go into my new formed family.

Thanks whart for your words

 

I'm at maybe 50%, which really isn't all that bad when placed in perspective. There's a bunch of people who don't have food and water...

Career is stable but stagnant, I like what I do and where I do it but get bored easily and there's absolutely no chance of advancement. I have some great old friends and some good new ones, and enjoy my hobbies and time off. Those who know me well know the reasons for the -50%, but that will eventually work through one way or another.

I've really been adrift my entire life, so I can't be too upset with where I am. If you have no goals, you have no disappointments

 

Not happy, at all....I have been happy....but I'm not right now....
I don't sleep at night, worrying about what life will be like in prison.....I haven't slept for more then 4 hours straight in a year....I used to sleep 10 hours easily...I have nightmares about 3 days a week about being murdered in prison, raped in prison, or just beat to a pulp by guards in prison....I know its probably not reasonable to think these things, but I can't help it...I have tried to take things like Tylenol PM but they make things worse for me...I have tried to drink myself to sleep, but I wake up sweating....I try to take baths to relax myself, which works....but I go to bed and wake up in 3 hours. Financially, I have never been as bad as I am right now...I barely have the money to fight this criminal case...I have drained all my savings. I have evacuated twice in the last year for hurricanes...The only thing that keeps me going is my drives in the Ferrari and a few people in my life that have stayed loyal to me. I think about suicide at least 3 times a week, the only reason I don't is because of the dissapointment my family and friends would have for me. I think about whether I can make it through a long prison sentence, or whether I would just hang myself the first night....
As sad is this may sound, the people on this site that have offered kind words or help (John Lamour, Daniel, SRT Mike, AnthonyR, Matteo, Sunny and many others) actually help settle my nerves...thanks guys...


On the outside, I let everyone think that everything is going great...that I have full control of the situation...not even my own relatives know of my misery.

But I have made it this far, and the trial is not far away...so either my worst fears will be confirmed or the light at the end of the tunnel will shine through (and justice will prevail). At least either way, I will have finality.

It's the waiting that is so mentally straining.

Would I switch places with someone else, I used to say 'never'....now I just don't know. There are a lot of things I just don't know about anymore.

 

I hope that you can follow your desire with faith and trust, two things that can be hard to come by with your experiences. I imagine Mrs. Mike has a lot to do with making it happen.

 

We here will be here for you.

Sounds like quite a situation that you are in. Im not going to offer all the cliche sayings that piss me off, but know that us guy are here to talk about that stuff..

No matter what. DO NOT think about taking your life. Get those thoughts out of your head ASAP. No question. That should be your 1st priority. Too many good men lost while taking the easy road out.