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Amazing Chuck Norris Facts!

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by BigDog, Sep 22, 2005.

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  1. BigDog

    BigDog Formula 3

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    #1 BigDog, Sep 22, 2005
    Chuck Norris always had a heated rivalry with Bruce Lee. When Lee died, they had unfinished business, so Chuck Norris enlisted the aid of Jonathon Silverman and Andrew McCarthy to work as Marionettes and prop up Lee's lifeless corpse so Chuck could get one last Roundhouse Kick in.


    Chuck Norris is a white supremacist but also lead the Black Cival Rights movement. When asked which side he really was on, Chuck replied, "The Mexicans."


    Periodically, Chuck Norris goes by the alias "Bill Gates".


    Few people are aware that Chuck Norris is the first person to ever be diagnosed with beard cancer. Upon hearing this, Chuck Norris quickly beat the cancer into remission with a series of roundhouse kicks and rabbit punches.

    In 1989, Phil Collins challenged Chuck Norris to a drinking contest. Collins passed out after the 6th shot of moonshine. Chuck Norris went on to drink 12 more shots and a pint of antifreeze just to prove Collins a *****. This, of course, led to the fall of the Berlin Wall later that year.

    The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
     
  2. sjb509

    sjb509 Guest

    #2 sjb509, Sep 22, 2005
    LOL

    Random Factoid:
    If you have ever seen Boogie Nights, the song Dirk Diggler sang to launch his music career was You've Got the Touch. This was an original song from the Transformers Movie. Not sure if Norris wrote or directed either movie though.
     
  3. RossoCorsaItaly

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    #3 RossoCorsaItaly, Sep 22, 2005
    I'm lost everywhere I go on the internet people are talking about Chuck Norris.
     
  4. turbo6

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    #4 turbo6, Sep 22, 2005
    :)thanks for the laugh!
     
  5. AKS

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    #5 AKS, Sep 22, 2005
    "F*cking Chuck Norris"
     
  6. PeterS

    PeterS Five Time F1 World Champ
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    #6 PeterS, Sep 22, 2005
    Whenever I can't sleep, I simply toss one of his movies into the DVD player. I'm out like a light in ten minutes!
     
  7. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
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    #7 ryalex, Sep 22, 2005
    LOL!!!
     
  8. WJHMH

    WJHMH Two Time F1 World Champ
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    #8 WJHMH, Sep 22, 2005
    He's gonna kick my arse for this but he filmed that stupid Walker, Texas Ranger show all over Ft. Worth. That bastard even made me late for work during filming.

    CHUCK R NORRIS
    16823 COLEGROVE DR
    DALLAS, TX (972) 250-####
     
  9. justhrowit

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    #9 justhrowit, Sep 22, 2005
    your right....those are AMAZING facts! Makes me want to go home and watch Missing in Action!

    Who would in a fight...Chuck Norris or Sylvester Stallone!
     
  10. venusone

    venusone F1 Rookie

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    #10 venusone, Sep 22, 2005
    Just saw "Boogie Nights" 1st time last week. CK man played it so bad (not good) in the recording studio! Why bring Dirk into this? Are they buds? Think Chuck sounds ok in the Walker theme tho.
     
  11. Dcup

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    #11 Dcup, Sep 22, 2005
    kiss me...
     
  12. venusone

    venusone F1 Rookie

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    #12 venusone, Sep 22, 2005
    Am I mistaken or did Chuckie win 1st place world middle weight titles 7 years in a row?
     
  13. venusone

    venusone F1 Rookie

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    #13 venusone, Sep 22, 2005
    Lets go!
     
  14. venusone

    venusone F1 Rookie

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    #14 venusone, Sep 22, 2005
    Marky Marc was hot.
     
  15. stevep

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    #15 stevep, Sep 22, 2005
    crazy thread :D :D
     
  16. ashsimmonds

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    #16 ashsimmonds, Nov 4, 2005
  17. Fastviper

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    #17 Fastviper, Nov 4, 2005
    I really wish Chuck Norris and Steven Segal would get into a death match where whoever loses has to leave film and tv forever. and while there, fight Van dam and do the same thing. 1 out of 3 is much better than all 3.

    and Chuck Norris would kick sly's a.. bad.
     
  18. darth550

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    #18 darth550, Nov 4, 2005
    They both hang out in the San Antonio gay bars.
     
  19. AJS328

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    #19 AJS328, Nov 4, 2005
    You beat me to it! LOL!
     
  20. Ferrari0324

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    #20 Ferrari0324, Nov 4, 2005
    "Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf."

    "Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month."

    I can't stop laughing after these two.
     
  21. BigAl

    BigAl F1 Veteran

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    #21 BigAl, Nov 4, 2005
    Chuck Norris was born with his beard.
     
  22. Ryan S.

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    #22 Ryan S., Nov 4, 2005
    dont get me wrong, chuck was badass in Texas Ranger, but bruce lee could kick his arse any day...
     
  23. Ferrari0324

    Ferrari0324 F1 Rookie

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    #23 Ferrari0324, Nov 4, 2005
    Obviously.

    I read a short article the other day in the paper, that said Bruce Lee's death was accidental b/c he took the wrong medicine and was either allergic to it or something like that.
     
  24. whart

    whart F1 Veteran
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    #24 whart, Nov 4, 2005
    Wasn't he a secret Ninja? His mother was partly Asian, and a descendant of a famous clan of kickboxers. That's probably why some people think that Jean-Claude Van Damme is his illegitimate son.
    I know that when Chuck Norris walks into a room, alot of people don't know what to say. That's often a sign of someone being a Ninja.

    For those who might still be skeptical, take a look at this site. It details the erotic adventures of Chuck Norris, as a pseudonym for someone's girlfriend. http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2004/11/22bieber.html

    There are, in fact, alot of strange things about Chuck Norris. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Figuratively speaking.
     
  25. Fastviper

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    #25 Fastviper, Nov 4, 2005
    that link is funny!
     
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