An open letter to the bat in my garage | FerrariChat
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An open letter to the bat in my garage

Discussion in 'Ferrari Discussion (not model specific)' started by JoeZaff, Jun 22, 2009.

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  1. JoeZaff

    JoeZaff F1 Veteran
    Owner

    Aug 5, 2007
    5,459
    Philly suburbs
    Full Name:
    Joe
    #1 JoeZaff, Jun 22, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2009
    Dear Vladimir,

    We have lived happily in our home for many years and have not formally met. Let me take an opportunity to introduce myself, I am the guy who owns that Ferrari that you have been pissing on every night for the last week while you circle the garage and eat bugs. I have noticed that you seem to pile all your sh&t in one nice corner, would it be to much to ask that you similarly concentrate your urine. As an alternative, let me humbly suggest you look to the attic or even my bedroom for that matter. Sh&t, I'll raise flies in my living room if you would like, but stay away from the Ferrari. Are you kidding me? Really? There is no place else for you to go but on my prize posession. How about the damn mercedes next to it! Huh? its a big ugly silver blob, nobody would even know. BUT NOOOOOOOO, you got to go for the one thing you know I care about. Have some f&cking respect! Oh, and if you know the guy who decided to powerwash my driveway and aim all the mud at my garage, let him know that I am going to kill both of you with the same tennis racquet!

    Better go hide your ugly bat a$$....tonight you are mine.



    Very truly yours,


    Joezaff


    if any of you have any open letters you would like to post, please do so...
     
  2. agup48

    agup48 Two Time F1 World Champ

    Apr 15, 2006
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    #2 agup48, Jun 22, 2009
    Hahaha :D
    LMAO!
     
  3. Etcetera

    Etcetera Two Time F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Dec 7, 2003
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    C6H14O5
    #3 Etcetera, Jun 22, 2009
    Dear Joezaff,

    This is the bat that lives in your garage and who has been happily pissing on your penile enhancement vehicle. You ask me why I piss all over your car? Well Joe, the reason is simple, even for you, to understand.

    You see, I am just a bat. I am a small, winged animal that prefers to keep to myself. I pose a threat only to insects and not, broadly speaking, homo sapiens as a species, and more specifically, you, as a member of the aforementioned hairless ape club.

    So whilst you were dancing around and screaming like a little girl and waving a broom at me, I was chuckling at the visage of you as a hairless ape that completely lost his nuts at the presence of such a small, harmless critter such as myself.

    The reason why I piss on your vehicle is because I can, and you are powerless to stop me.

    So there.


    Very truly yours,

    Vladimir.
     
  4. toggie

    toggie F1 World Champ
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    Nov 30, 2003
    19,036
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    Toggie (Ron)
    #4 toggie, Jun 22, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  5. JoeZaff

    JoeZaff F1 Veteran
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    Aug 5, 2007
    5,459
    Philly suburbs
    Full Name:
    Joe
    #5 JoeZaff, Jun 22, 2009
    Dear Vladimir,

    Have you noticed that your girlfriend hasn't been around much. I am not saying I had anything to do with it, but she has been conspicuously absent. Not saying I hurt her...just saying...
     
  6. Kaivball

    Kaivball Three Time F1 World Champ
    Owner

    Jan 11, 2007
    35,997
    Kalifornia
    #6 Kaivball, Jun 22, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
    Dear Vladimir,

    You have until 5pm to leave my garage or this picture will become reality.
    Image Unavailable, Please Login
     
  7. SonomaRik

    SonomaRik F1 Veteran

    Dec 15, 2006
    6,904
    Folsom, CA (formerly Sonoma)
    #7 SonomaRik, Jun 22, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  8. Latsyrc

    Latsyrc F1 Rookie

    Jun 23, 2008
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    #8 Latsyrc, Jun 22, 2009
    Very funny!
     
  9. Etcetera

    Etcetera Two Time F1 World Champ
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    #9 Etcetera, Jun 22, 2009
    No matter, there are always more bats in the belfry.
     
  10. thecarreaper

    thecarreaper F1 World Champ
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    Sep 30, 2003
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    #10 thecarreaper, Jun 22, 2009
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  11. jasonporsche

    jasonporsche Karting

    May 7, 2007
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    auburn, al
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    jason gautney
    #11 jasonporsche, Jun 22, 2009
    Good Stuff!
     
  12. JoeZaff

    JoeZaff F1 Veteran
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    Aug 5, 2007
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    #12 JoeZaff, Jun 22, 2009
    One Word:
    Ricochet
     
  13. UpNorth

    UpNorth Formula 3
    Owner

    Sep 30, 2006
    1,769
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    Francois
    #13 UpNorth, Jun 22, 2009
    Hey Joe,

    Why don't you move the Ferrari in the MB place and vice versa???
     
  14. Solobagpiper

    Solobagpiper Karting

    May 6, 2009
    114
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    Mark Frost
    #14 Solobagpiper, Jun 22, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2009
    That's good

    Why don't you just hang up a net or some cloth or some kind of flying obstruction for a couple nights so that he can't make his strafing runs?

    You might also want to hang up some crosses in your garage
     
  15. Robie

    Robie Formula Junior

    Apr 26, 2008
    331
    Hsiang Kang
    Full Name:
    C. Camillo Negroni
    #15 Robie, Jun 22, 2009
    This may be an unwinnable battle. Bats are the most successful and numerous mammals on earth. You could try training him to pee on the Benz, though, perhaps learning from your example?
     
  16. TLKIZER660

    TLKIZER660 Formula Junior

    Jul 30, 2004
    315
    Québec
    #16 TLKIZER660, Jun 22, 2009
    A string of garlic might help too!

    Tom Kizer
     
  17. JoeZaff

    JoeZaff F1 Veteran
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    Aug 5, 2007
    5,459
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    #17 JoeZaff, Jun 22, 2009
    ROTFLMAO---NOT EVEN KIDDING.
     
  18. The Ape

    The Ape Formula 3

    Feb 28, 2007
    1,793
    Los Angeles
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    Ape
    #18 The Ape, Jun 22, 2009
    Pure Genius!!! Im friggin' on the floor laughing!.....

    But this is my favorite part!!!" Oh, and if you know the guy who decided to powerwash my driveway and aim all the mud at my garage, let him know that I am going to kill both of you with the same tennis racquet!", that REALLY slayed me.
     
  19. Easyrider7467

    Easyrider7467 Formula Junior

    Nov 3, 2005
    980
    Northen N.J.
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    John
    #19 Easyrider7467, Jun 22, 2009

    Thats the Greatest !!!! LMAHO LOLOLLLOLOLL. I have to read this again ....

    Hey let us know what the bat says...
     
  20. tatcat

    tatcat F1 World Champ
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    rick c
    #20 tatcat, Jun 22, 2009
    build a bat house. plans are available online. put it where the bat is nesting. he should move into the little house. slowly move the house to a safer location.
     
  21. Wade

    Wade Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Mar 31, 2006
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    Wade O.
    #21 Wade, Jun 22, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  22. MBFerrari

    MBFerrari F1 Veteran

    Jul 2, 2008
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    #22 MBFerrari, Jun 22, 2009
    Or wait until the daylight when he is in the house, and close the door. Let him think about his mistake for a while. Put him in timeout. Once he apologizes, take him about 50 miles away, and set the house at the side of the road so someone can come up and ask, "I wonder what type of house this is..." Then they will open it and find out.

    MB
     
  23. MBFerrari

    MBFerrari F1 Veteran

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    #23 MBFerrari, Jun 22, 2009
    What about Gothspeed? Couldn't he help?
     
  24. Prugna 328

    Prugna 328 Formula 3

    Sep 10, 2003
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    #24 Prugna 328, Jun 22, 2009
    Let the Ferrari take revenge.Start it and close the door.
     
  25. Pizzaman Chris

    Pizzaman Chris F1 Rookie

    Mar 13, 2005
    3,919
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    Pizzaman Chris
    #25 Pizzaman Chris, Jun 22, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
    just ingnored it. Had to take matters into my own hands. :)




    Just kept coming back. At the end he/she was relocated to a far place about 5 miles away.
    Image Unavailable, Please Login
     
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