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Are you a Democrat?

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Nibblesworth, Feb 8, 2004.

  1. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3
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    Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking and vote that way. But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the reasons below and see how you rate.

    1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

    2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

    3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

    4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

    5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

    6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

    7. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

    8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

    9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

    10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

    11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

    13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

    14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

    15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

    16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

    17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because Democrats haven't been in charge.

    18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House (from '93 through 2000)!

    19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

    20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

    21. You have to believe that Saddam Hussein did not know any terrorists.

    22. You have to believe that every American should have free health care.

    23. You have to believe that reciting the pledge of allegiance is an establishment of religion.

    24. You have to believe that there are "millions of starving children" in the United States.

    25. You have to believe that everyone who doesn't/can't/won't work should be paid.

    Vote Democratic ... It's easier than getting a job.
     
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  3. bluekawala

    bluekawala Formula Junior

    Jan 22, 2004
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    That's hilarious... then I sit back and realize its the sad truth. I feel bad for people that think that way. Lets just hope we don't get another one in office!
     
  4. PeterS

    PeterS Four Time F1 World Champ
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    If this won't make a few million democrats run to the right, I'm not sure anything will! Great post!
     
  5. Texas Forever

    Texas Forever Four Time F1 World Champ
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    Pretty good, Nibbler. Thought you might get a kick out of this. The county that I live in is about 40 miles north of Houston. There will be no Democratic candidates on the county ballot during the next election. None, zip, nada. We ate the last one about 3 or 4 years ago.

    DrTax
     
  6. Robin

    Robin F1 Rookie

    Nov 1, 2003
    2,893
    Arlington, VA
    I was gonna respond to this, but decided that Slim said it best in his "straw man" response in the election thread. This is the equivalent of saying that since you were once a Marine, you're an idiot, can't think for yourself, like to take it up the butt, too stupid to get into the Navy, enjoy sleeping in close quarters with other naked men, only speak in monosyllabic sentences, etc... oh and perhaps too stupid to recognize individuality, thus lumping everyone into "us" and "them" so that you know who to grunt and throw pooh at ;)

    -R
     
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  8. RacerX_GTO

    RacerX_GTO F1 World Champ
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    LOL, that was good. So true.

    Words of wisdom from a Democrat:

    "the purpose of government is to rein in the rights of the people" - William Clinton during an interview on MTV in 1993
     
  9. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3
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    I'm glad you all liked that - but I must confess that I cannot take credit for it's authorship. Just thought it was good enough to pass along.

    And Dr Tax, got any free rooms in your house? :)
     
  10. jordan747_400

    jordan747_400 F1 Veteran
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    Ah Im a democrat...though very conservative I think...stuck in the middle somewhere. Ive got a sense of humor though, so I found this HILARIOUS :)
     
  11. Auraraptor

    Auraraptor F1 World Champ
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  13. wax

    wax Four Time F1 World Champ
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    Every time my Democrat Fiancee and I see a disagreeable flake on TV, I remind her the flake is obviously a Democrat.
     
  14. 4re308

    4re308 F1 Rookie

    Jun 13, 2001
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    Mitch D
    Great post, I will never, ever vote Democrapic. I've been a Republican since I could vote.
     
  15. redjeeper

    redjeeper Formula Junior

    Nov 4, 2003
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    I've been a Democrat as long as I could vote, but I strangely find all of the above to be true for most if not all Democrats. I don't support a lot of things that Bush has done, but I may change my party affiliation if the Dems don't stop spending us to death.
     
  16. tifosi69

    tifosi69 Formula 3

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    Could not have said it better myself. And BTW, that is no "straw man" argument, everything contained in that post is TRUE, not open to interpretation. Now you can say that any Dem might not believe ALL of those points but they are either fundamentals of their platform or, as is the case with the Chinese contributions of Saddam, attempts at intellectual dishonesty designed to stir up the great unwashed !! Does anyone recall how in 1998 John F. Kerry, Ted Kennedy, Tom Daschle, Dick Gephardt, et al. were singing the praises of Clinton's decision to attack Iraq, they were posing a "SERIOUS, CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER TO US NATIONAL INTERESTS" and yet fast forward 3 years later and they ran from their statements and votes like pre-pubescents from Neverland Ranch !!

    The hypocrisy is so naked and yet scores upon scores of people continue to vote for these poverty pimps. Unions, woman's groups, minorities, et al. and what have the Dems done for them? They only serve to marginalize and further fractionalize one against the other and then ride in on their white horse (no offense intended towards horses) to SAVE the day. Say what you want about Republicans but at least they are intellectually honest. Fiscal and social conservatism: work hard, get ahead; you work hard for your money therefore you should keep it; PAY FOR YOUR OWN DAMN HEALTHCARE, I DO!!! Both sides make mistakes, both sides have rotten apples, both sides have people that are career politicians who care less about the work of the people and more about being re-elected, but at the end of the day, the underlying tenets of the Right are far more intellectually honest than the socialist leanings of the Left.
     
  17. karmavore

    karmavore Formula 3

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    Luke Colorado
    Obviously Dribblesworth is trying to get a rise out of us few dems on the board, but as a self-deprecating man with a good sense of humor who can honestly say he hasn't been offended many times in his life, I'm offended.

    Luke.
     
  18. dm_n_stuff

    dm_n_stuff Global Moderator
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    Narrow minded, shallow thinking often produces offensive behavior.

    I'm a Dem too, and, unlike some of our Republican f-car owners, I can free think, vote as I choose, not blindly follow party lines, and look at the actual choices for office.

    Bragging that you've eaten the last Democrat, or run them out of town, just shows that you don't really understand the Democracy. Bone up on federalism, understand the political process, study how it's supposed ot work, then exercise your voting privledge. Which no longer includes running political opponents out on a rail.

    Having said all that, I'm not a Kerry fan, but "W" is not a superior mind doing a superior job, either.

    Guess we'll continue to disagree, and watch where the whole thing ends up together.
     
  19. Tspringer

    Tspringer F1 Veteran

    Apr 11, 2002
    6,155
    While I agree with much of the post.... the truely sad part is that so many think the Republicans are any better. Wrong. They are just as bad, but they simply serve a different set of PACs and special interest $$$$ than the Dems do.

    The Republicans for the last 40 years have sworn to stand for smaller Govt, fiscal responsibility, less intrusive Govt, more individual rights and less "group" rights and less taxes. They have always said they could not achieve this because the Democrats stifled them.

    Well.... for the last 4 years the Republicans have controlled both the executive and legislative branchs. No excuses. So did they come through on all their promises?

    NO.

    We have much bigger Govt. and the fastest Govt growth rate ever, total fiscal irresponsibility with the largest deficits in history and no plan at all to fix it, an erosion of individual rights and a new focus on group rights and while we have gotten tax cuts the massive spending increases at the same time make them downright dangerous.

    The Republicans and GWB lied to us. Not a little WMD lie either.... they lied about the fundamental conservatism the party was supposed to stand for. The truth is evident to anyone who wants to open their eyes. The Republicans and Democrats are THE SAME. They are the flip sides of the same coin..... in the currency of maintaining the status quo. Each stands for the exact same fundamental principal: raise as much campaign money as possible and keep me in office.

    I laugh when I see the same old rants and raves against the Dems. So many Repubs are just sheep. Your own party has sold you down the river and fed you yet more rhetoric.... but your blind to it and just focus on the "liberal", exactly like the Repub political consultants tell them you will.

    What will it take for conservatives to wake up and see their party on the left side of the river?


    Terry
     
  20. tifosi69

    tifosi69 Formula 3

    Dec 23, 2003
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    Terry, I do not think you are being entirely fair. As I have stated in this thread as well as another similar-subject thread, there are bad apples on both sides and both sides have career politicians who care (to quote myself) "less about the work of the people and more about being re-elected" Nevertheless, the big spending the Bush admin has done was not, I believe, pre-meditated, but rather an unfortunate by-product of the situation at hand post 9/11. BTW, the current admin has not controlled both branches of gov for 4 years, only since Jan of 2003. And you cannot honestly say the Dems aren't stifling, what about that 48 hour long filibuster a few months back, and the absolute stonewalling on judicial appointments? I am no sheep, I think about what is common sense.
     
  21. writerguy

    writerguy F1 Veteran

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    Things you have to believe to be a Republican today.


    1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.


    2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.


    3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.


    4. "Standing Tall" for America means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.


    5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.


    6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.


    7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.


    8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.


    9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.


    10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.


    11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.


    12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.


    13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.


    14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.


    15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.


    16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.


    17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.


    18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.


    19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.


    20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
     
  22. karmavore

    karmavore Formula 3

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    Now that was funny! My hero.
     
  23. writerguy

    writerguy F1 Veteran

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    Had a feeling you would like that....
     
  24. Texas Forever

    Texas Forever Four Time F1 World Champ
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    Actually, I used to be a yellar dawg democrat, which is somebody who would vote the Democractic ticket even if all they ran was a yellar dog.

    But things change. The best speech during the 2000 election was made by Ms. Rice (I'm not even going to try and spell her first name) at the Repbulican convention. In explaining how she became a Republican, she talked about how the Democratic party in Alabama would not let her father register as a Democrat. So he moved over and became a Republican.

    Later in life, after I became self employed, I realized which side of the "Tax and Spend" equation the Democracts had me pegged. Here's a hint, it wasn't on the spending side.

    However, I will admit that I find many of my fellow Republican travelers a bit over the top. We just had a stink here locally where the really nutty branch made a resturant put a fig leaf, you-know-here, on a statute of David. This would be funny if this was SNL; but, of course, it is not.

    Overall, though, I'll take Bush and his stupid "Morons" over Gephart and Kennedy in a heart beat. Don't get confused here. Kerry and Edwards have no base in the Democratic party. We know who does.

    Dr "Rabid" Tax
     
  25. dm_n_stuff

    dm_n_stuff Global Moderator
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    I'm now presented with a moral dilema. Dems suck, Republicans suck, does that mean I gotta fire up my Libertarian Party flag?

    Nice to see that there are creative voices here on both ends of the ideoligical spectrum.
     
  26. MarkG

    MarkG Formula Junior

    Nov 3, 2003
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    Mark
    1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

    a. and if your a Republican you believe a virus can determine a the sexual preference of individuals and strike only those who fit into this class; or you believe a virus was sent by God as a punishment for homos - but why did God have a hard-on for Hemophiliacs? AIDS killed majority of THEM TOO until the Red Cross allowed blood supply testing.

    b. If the Reagan admin had not cut funding to the CDC and NIH we would have know years earlier what the AIDS virus was, and how to prevent spreading it. However, the Gay community was very slow to respond even when the method of transmission was known, And Africa STILL refuses to believe sex and AIDS are related (call American Institution to Doscourage Sex in Africa). Fed funding may have helped, but the net result would not be that different today.


    3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

    a. There will be about 30,000 homicides in America this year, most done with guns. LA alone can see up to 15 gun deaths in a weekend. How many Americans have been killed so far by Chinese Nukes ( and remember, China is our friend now, they are getting as many American jobs as India).

    b. Having said that, I will give up my gun when they wrap my cold dead fingers from around it.

    4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

    a. and if your a Republican, you spend tax dollars to cover up art that was created before the NEA, and you don't dance because its a sin.

    7. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

    a. almost makes as much sense as being pro-life and pro-capital punishment. (actually this does make sense - most folks on death row got there from lifestyle choices; a fetus has no say or choice)

    9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do

    a. True; never was able to understand why Tree Huggers would rather see hundreds of deer etc. starve to death reather than be hunted and used to feed people (often used to feed homeless folks...)

    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

    a. Dropped my NRA membership when they supported the sale of bullets that would go through the vest I wore under my uniform; ACLU needs to pick it's battles a bit more carefully- no one believes in freedom of AND from religion as much as I do, but who cares if the 10 Comandments are in a courtroom, or a nativity scene is on dispaly on city property?


    13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

    a. Taxes arn't too low, they just arn't being spent wisely; ATM fees are high, but $1.50 or so for the convinence of getting ready cash just about anywhere??? Seems cheap to me......

    15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

    a. Just claiming that 'standardized' tests are racist IS racist - its admitting that you believe a certain class of individuals arn't up to these tests.


    17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because Democrats haven't been in charge.

    a. Socialism doesn't work because it goes against human nature; people NEED to feel rewarded for their work, and to be rewarded for going above and beyond...how advanced do you think society would be now if there was no reward for inventing, exploring, for creating etc.? Would Bill Gates have built Microsoft if his reward was a single room apartment and a 'People's Car' provided by the Govt.?

    b. By the same token, some people are willing to live a sub-par existance on hand-outs rather than work hard. In the animal kingdom there would be called parasites.

    c. Democrates need to realize the role of Government is to provide a safety net, NOT a career.

    20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States

    a. Yea, but its the current Republican admin that's allowing the outsourcing of millions of US jobs to China - explain to me like I'm 4 years old how sending American jobs to China is in the 'best interest of the United States".


    22. You have to believe that every American should have free health care.

    a. nice concept in theory, but if ALL medical care was free the system would break down under the load. ONLY life threatening care should be universally available to those who can't afford it (which is the vast majority of Americans).


    24. You have to believe that there are "millions of starving children" in the United States.

    a. Closer to thousands, not millions
     
  27. dm_n_stuff

    dm_n_stuff Global Moderator
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    Doc.

    The spelling isn't actually all that "taxing".

    Dr. Condoleezza Rice
    Republican
     
  28. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3
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    Writeguy - funny stuff!

    Didn't mean to offend anone. If you read both my post and Writerguy's post, you'll see that there are a LOT of contradictions made by both parties.

    I'm not insulting true democrats, and I don't think Writerguy is insulting true republicans. I'm simply pointed out stupid stuff done on the Democratic side of the fence, and Writerguy is simply pointing out stupid stuff on the Republican side of the fence.

    I'm no democrat, but that doesn't mean I subscribe to every point that republicans make. I would bet the same is true for the tiny portion of dems on this board.
     

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