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Are you a professional?

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by darth550, Jun 13, 2004.

  1. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
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    The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether
    you are truly a "professional". The questions are not that difficult.

    1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

    The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and
    close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple
    things in an overly complicated way.

    2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

    Wrong Answer : Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close
    the refrigerator. Correct Answer : Open the refrigerator, take out
    the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your
    ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.

    3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals
    attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

    Correct Answer : The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator.
    This tests your memory.

    OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly,
    you still have one more chance to show your abilities.

    4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles.
    How do you manage it?

    Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the
    Animal conference! This tests whether you learn quickly from your
    mistakes.

    According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
    professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many
    preschoolers got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says
    this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have
    the brains of a four year old.

    ________________________________

    DL
     
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  3. C. Losito

    C. Losito Formula Junior

    Dec 12, 2003
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    Semantic nonsense. The wording used does not imply that those scenarios are linked.
     
  4. PeterS

    PeterS Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Darth..Lets just put YOU in the fridge!
     
  5. RacerX_GTO

    RacerX_GTO F1 World Champ
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    Professional what??? silly quiz/email spam answer person?

    Everybody knows placing Elephants and Giraffe's in the refrigerator will yeild a greenpeace attack followed by a Peta boycott. They will not stand for it!
    The Croc's cannot be cohearsed into attending an Animal conference because there is nothing for them to eat outside of what is already in attendance.
     
  6. TSMIV

    TSMIV Formula Junior

    Jan 27, 2004
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    Robert Goodman
    It definitely shows that Andersen is a professional outfit. They cannot even get straight that 4 yr. olds got the answers right and professionals did not. It shows that professsionals do NOT have the brains God gave a four year old.
     
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  8. normhuff

    normhuff Formula Junior

    Dec 14, 2003
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    Crikey! I answered question four by hiring Steve Irwin, aka The Crocodile Hunter, to come out and remove those nasty crocs. I like my answer better, mate...
     
  9. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Since this is something of a wildlife thread, I recently learned an interesting ornithological fact that I would like to share:


    You know when you see a V formation of Canada Geese (and less so with Snow geese) one leg of the V is ALWAYS longer than the other?

    Anybody else know why?
     
  10. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    BECAUSE IT HAS MORE GEESE ON THAT SIDE!
     
  11. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
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    In keeping with the tradition.....

    What did Tarzan say when he saw the herd of Elephants charging toward him?

    DL
     
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  13. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
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    "Here come the Elephants."

    DL
     
  14. 62 250 GTO

    62 250 GTO F1 Veteran

    Jan 9, 2004
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    Neil
    Does it have to do with the wind?
     
  15. 62 250 GTO

    62 250 GTO F1 Veteran

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    "Quick get the guns!
     
  16. Kevallino

    Kevallino Formula 3

    Feb 10, 2004
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    As a former Andersen employee I'd like to remind you all that (1) AA vaporised due to Enron and (2) AC renamed itself "accenture".

    Taking their advice/conclusions about anything may be hazardous to your wallet/prison record.

    Cheers
    Kevin
     
  17. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    But they had good commercials.
     
  18. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
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    ...and if it's on TV it MUST be true!

    DL
     
  19. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Then how come I'm still fat, my hairs not growing in and my Enzyte does not seem to be "enhancing" me...
     
  20. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
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    Hahaha,

    As a former employee of Anderson Consulting and Accenture, I would like to point out that Anderson Consulting had very little to do with Arthur Anderson (AA). As you clearly point out Anderson Consulting renamed itself to Accenture NOT Arthur Anderson (AA).

    Saying that I would like to remind all that we were never asked to take that quiz. I guess they already knew the answer ;). Think what you like about consulting firms as I won't necessarily disagree with you ... :D

    Pete
     
  21. Kevallino

    Kevallino Formula 3

    Feb 10, 2004
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    Pete
    With all due respect, AA had a LOT to do with Andersen Consulting - Andersen's started that business, and much of the bunfight associated with the renaming had to do with the AA/AC partership aggro associated with ROI on Andersen's investment. In fact, the "accenture" renaming was part of the arbitrated settlement between AA and AC on the split of the two entities. Over time, the AC partners were less than satisfied with the combined business model, given that the AC business generated substantially more profit per partner than the AA business.

    On a more personal note, most of the guys associated with HIH were drinking buddies of mine when I was in Sydney - I valued the CFO's option package prior to his accepting his role with HIH when I was in AA's Corporate Finance practice. Plus I know the old audit partner, the new audit partner, the former AA partner who was on the board (he sponsored me for an AJC membership), and the guys in the Litigation practice who tried to hose down the internal hoo-ha once the feces hit the fan.

    So whilst I appreciate your sentiments, the relationship was substantially closer than you might have thought, and there was heaps of aggro between those two practices.

    Cheers
    Kevin
     
  22. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
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    You mean to tell me you aren't buying the "New and improved" Enzyte? Shame on you! I'm telling Ron Popeil!

    DL
     
  23. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

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    Lets just say that AC did not operate fraudulently ;) ... as far as I knew. Seriously though, my understanding is simply that AA took a cut off AC, but otherwise AC was free to work how they liked. This is why AC wanted to split because they were loosing out ... and had moved in their own direction over the years.

    Pete
     

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