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Ask the Doctor.

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by UroTrash, Dec 18, 2004.

  1. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    OK here's you chance to publicly ask your most private and embarrasing questions about your genito-urinary health; to have the answers publicly displayed on the internet so all viewers can laugh at you.

    Please, questions relating only to your winkie's function, none of that boring heart or orthopedic crap here.

    Trust me, I'm a doctor (despite what my patients may say), now bend over and start typing.


    Who's first?
     
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  3. Dom

    Dom F1 Veteran
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    Is it Ok to masturbate daily? What about twice daily?
     
  4. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    I'll get back to you in a minute, I'm busy with the bikini thread right now.


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  5. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Whheww... Ok, I'm back.


    Where were we. Oh yes, frequency of masturbation. Dom, if you can reduce the frequency to just twice a day you will be light years ahead of most of the viewers of this thread.

    As we (should) all know, each male organ has in it only enough "ammunition" for only so many "re-loads" and once those run out, well, that's when you start looking for a Lambo as a penile enhancement measure.


    Rest assured, most men have enough "ammo" to last well into their late teen years.


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  6. Z0RR0

    Z0RR0 F1 Rookie

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    Every morning, my pee-pee stands up ... what should I do to prevent this? It is very difficult to aim at the bowl in such situation ...
     
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  8. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Pee in the shower like everybody else.



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  9. Sfumato

    Sfumato F1 Veteran

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    #7 Sfumato, Dec 18, 2004
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  10. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    No.
    It is illegal to sue any doctor who is in lawful possession of a Weinermobile. Don't even think about it.

    Might I suggest a better alternative? I would suggest undergoing some necessary, but minor operation, perhaps a herniorraphy, and then complain relentlessly of a subjective problem (such as pain or decreased sex drive) about which no doctor can provide adequate help. Then talk with your lawyer, and if its not worth 6 figures I'll eat my Weinermobile.



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  11. Sfumato

    Sfumato F1 Veteran

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    I tried, but he wouldn't listen. Frank somethingorother.

    Q:Is it bad when it burns?? The sores don't bother sex, the juice is a great lube!!
     
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  13. JaguarXJ6

    JaguarXJ6 F1 Veteran

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    Is it healthier to take a small tinkle before sex, or, blow your load of little soldiers after a long sexual encounter and then go tinkle when your ready?
     
  14. MarkPDX

    MarkPDX F1 World Champ
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    Is it ok to leave it "ribbed for her pleasure" or should warts be gotten rid of?
     
  15. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Ahhh, my syphilitic compatriot, the questions you ask; they are so self evident, no?

    There is a REASON those sores are there, as you say for enhancement of the experience.

    Let me ask you: If some one who has never had sex, will they have those sores?

    Of course not! So there, that proves their purpose.

    About the burning.... That is simply a sign that you have encountered a "Hottie". so, the burning is a sure sign you are a "playa".


    I'd be careful with the Frank.... seems the sense of humor is rudimentary in that species.


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  16. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    OK this is important. Listen carefully. IT IS OK TO TINKLE BEFORE OR AFTER SEX BUT MOST WOMEN FIND IT DISCONCERTING FOR YOU TO TINKLE D-U-R-I-N-G SEX.

    There are of course exceptions to this rule, but they exist only in California.


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  17. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Ah, Grasshopper, a question of The Great Plan of Life.

    Do you think the viral warts are not also, equal and worthy creations of nature?

    Do you think that the resulting irregular contours are not a gift from nature?

    I think upon reflection you will come to know the answer; that fulminant condyloma is a co-dependent aspect of human existence.

    Ask: Could we live with out warts?

    Ask: Could warts live without us?




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  18. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
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    Girls laugh when i pull down my pants; in high school, they called me 'pinky'... Why did they laugh and what can i do to keep them from laughing in the future...?
     
  19. PeterS

    PeterS Four Time F1 World Champ
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    Well, every morning I pee at 8:00AM. I pinch a loaf at 8:20AM.........I get out of bed around 9:00AM......Anything I can do to combine the two at the same time, maybe AFTER 9:00AM?
     
  20. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Mr. McCoy,

    The situation you describe is more the province of psychology rather than andrology.

    Fortunately for you, as well as other F-Chatters, I not only have vast experience in male sexual dysfunction but also significant insight to the working of the female mind.

    As a defensive mechanism, young girls often laugh when they are confronted with an ominously large male member. They often will try to reduce their anxiety by assigning petty names to a fearsome "Blue Steel Hummer" such as you surely possess, ergo: "pinky". How could it be any other way?

    Carbon, you must face facts; most women are going to be shaken upon viewing your natural endowment. You need to go slow, you need to let them get accustomed to the magnitude of their impending experience, whether they be singly or in small groups.

    Carbie, good luck to you, and hope this has helped.


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  21. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Well, you could, but the real question is WHY would you?

    Again, this is clearly the province of psychology; lets explore.

    When you micturate and defecate in your bed, prior to arising each morning, it is truly EMPOWERING; you are in total control of the household. YOU are the master of the house, YOU can defecate at will WHEN and WHERE you desire. You are all powerful and worthy of fear, dread and respect.

    Metaphorically, many countries and corporations have been controlled in the same way.

    Remember the old saying "A man's home is a man's toilet".


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  22. FarmerDave

    FarmerDave F1 World Champ
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    What is healthier for the family jewels, supporting them with tighty whities, or allowing them to swing freely in boxers?
     
  23. Doody

    Doody F1 Veteran

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    Dr:

    I've been attaching binder clips to my willie for about six years now. I clip four to six on overnight and and always have one or two on during the day. I really like the "medium size" ones. I've tried those gigantic ones, but I passed out from the pain, which was inconvenient given that at the time I was in a meeting giving a presentation at work. Those teeny-tiny binder clips are super-cute - I usually have one or two of those handy and use them a lot, especially right on the tip.

    My problem is that although I continue to find this entertaining, and sometimes stimulating, I now have some pretty serious sores on my skin down threre.

    Is this normal? Should I stop? Should I switch to paper clips (it's tough to get a fold of skin of appropriate thickness for a paperclip, but I have experimented with it (as well as most other office supplies with similar function (my experiments with the stapler only lasted about a month)))?

    Doody.
     
  24. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
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    On a serious note, i always heard that tighty whities kept things hot and constricted down there, thus adversely affecting one's sperm count... i heard that boxers allowed for breathing and lots of room so that the said sperm count wouldn't be affected...


    ...this is exactly why i wear tighty whities... Fruit of the Loom (as well as many other private and public organizations) donate heavily to a fund that pays for all of my underwear needs, in the hopes that tighty whities will constrict me so much that my sperm count will become nil and i will NEVER procreate... :)


    Doc, i don't think it's that... One time, when i was in high school, i went out on the date (yes, THE date, 'cause there was only ONE) and when the girl called me, she told me flat out that we were gonna have sex... When i picked her up, she got into the car with a microscope; i asked her what it was for and she said, "i told you on the phone...!"

    We didn't have sex. :(
     
  25. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Finally, a real question "up my alley" so to speak.

    Clearly, there is much debate on this one ( wouldn't it be easy to suggest that I'm a master-debater on the subject?) so I can only give you my personal thoughts.

    For most people "hangin' loose" is the desired milieu for the personal tackle with one notable exception:

    If you are one to wear short pants and you have an exceptionally lax dartos and cremasteric reflex you MUST wear the super-man style tighty whities or you may not only be arrested for public indecency, but might be prone to injuries from inquisitive Schnauzers.


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  26. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Do you wear pasties on your nipples as well? I'd highly recommend that to complete the "ensemb".

    I would definitely suggest the switch to paper clips for 2 reasons;

    1. You can not only steal them from work, but you can put then back in your secretary's drawer after use and enjoy watching her engage in that habit of putting them between her lips as she organizes papers.

    2. Why they are TOTALLY TAX DEDUCTIBLE!!!!


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  27. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Ummm... too much info even for this thread.


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  28. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
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    LITTLE KNOWN FACT:

    Do you know what the measurement of rearward distance your feet travel in this situation is......???








    TORQUE! :D

    DL
     

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