Aussie joke thread | Page 241 | FerrariChat

Aussie joke thread

Discussion in 'Australia' started by stephens, Oct 17, 2005.

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  1. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
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    Peter
  2. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Nov 1, 2003
    58,225
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    John
  3. Ferraridoc

    Ferraridoc F1 World Champ
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    Jun 20, 2012
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    Patrick
    A mate of mine just got struck off for an "inappropriate relationship with a patient". It's a shame, he was a hell of a good vet.
     
    au-yt likes this.
  4. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Nov 1, 2003
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    Is this the classic "I"m here for a friend of mine " routine ??:p
     
  5. Ferraridoc

    Ferraridoc F1 World Champ
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    No, a classic routine is: "Who's on first?"
     
  6. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
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    Peter
  7. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Nov 1, 2003
    58,225
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    John
    Is he running a driving school ?? :p
     
  8. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
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    Peter
    Lol @new can.... Never mind
     
  9. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
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    Full Name:
    Peter
  10. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
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    Full Name:
    Peter
    Saudia Arabian women will now be permitted to obtain drivers licenses. King Salman, the country's leader, announced Tuesday that the long-established law would be lifted as early as June 2018. The royal decree also claimed that Saudi Arabian women would not need to seek their husbands' permission to obtain a license.

    Saudi Arabia was the only country worldwide where women could be jailed for driving. The strict law resulted in several protests, which also led some women to defy the law. Some have defended the regulation by claiming that it would be inappropriate for women to drive, the New York Times reported Tuesday.

    "We refer to the negative consequences of not allowing women to drive vehicles and the positive aspects of allowing it to do so, taking into consideration the application of the necessary legal controls and adherence to them," the Saudi Press Agency (SPA) said Tuesday.

    The decision comes on the heels of a newly announced Saturday announcement that women would be allowed into sports stadiums for the first time ever. Saudia Arabia, however, is still a highly conservative country. The driving change won't alleviate the nation's women from other forms of repression.

    Wearing 'Immodest' Clothes Or Makeup Isn't Allowed

    Saudi women are restricted from wearing immodest clothing and makeup. Abayas — a long cloak — and a headscarf are often wardrobe staples. Foreigners, however, don't have to wear the headscarf in public.

    There is still room for personal expression or fashion with abayas. Abayas are available in different colors, styles, patterns and cuts, according to The Economist.

    Public Swimming Is Prohibited

    Public swimming pools are only made accessible to Saudi Arabian men. Women are only permitted to use pools in private homes or at women-only gyms.

    "As a woman, I wasn’t even allowed to look at them (“there are men in swimsuits there,” a hotel staffer told me with horror) — let alone use them," Arlene Getz, an editor for Reuters, wrote of her visit in April 2014. "There was a facility for women, but it was the gym that couldn’t say its name. Rather, we had to sidle up to the front desk, ask for the 'make-up room.'"

    Women Are Often Segregated From Men

    Interactions with men are limited in several environments. Several public buildings like universities and offices have separate entrances for men and women, according to the Daily Telegraph.

    The segregation regulations also extend to restaurants, which prohibit women from dining out alone. Restaurants that serve both men and women reportedly have divided eating areas, National Geographic reported in 2016. There is a "singles" section for men-only and a "families" section, which is designated for men, women and children that are close relatives.

    Women Can't Enter A Cemetary Unless They're Dead

    Cemeteries are off limits to women — unless they're dead, that is.

    Vanity Fair in 2010 detailed the difficulties of navigating the country as a female. Writer Maureen Dowd's tour guide informed her of the rule, saying, "Women are not allowed to go into cemeteries. Women can be buried there, but you are not allowed to go in and look into it."

    Women Can't Try On Clothing At Stores

    Trying on clothing in fitting rooms is deemed unacceptable. "The mere thought of a disrobed woman behind a dressing-room door is apparently too much for men to handle," Dowd reported for Vanity Fair.

    Fitting rooms are often absent in many Saudi Arabian clothing stores because they're owned by men.
     
  11. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
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    You can probably work out why I posted this here.

    Ferrari Club Australia National Rally Track Day
    PHILLIP ISLAND GRAND PRIX CIRCUIT

    Ferrari Club Australia National Rally Track Day - Sprint 2

    Practice S2 Scheduled Start 00:02

    Page 1 Issue 1 Start Wed Oct 11 10:33 Elapsed Time 17:40

    ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Pos Car Competitor/Team Driver Vehicle Cap CL Laps Fastest...Lap Gap 1 17 Ferrari Club Australia Colin Capewell Ferrari 458 GT3 4500 8 7 1:44.6824* 2 23 Ferrari Club Australia Trevor Dunemann Ferrari 488 9 4 1:52.9868 0:08.3044 3 62 Ferrari Club Australia Robert Van Essen Ferrari Challenge St 3600 8 7 1:56.8246 0:12.1422 4 44 Ferrari Club Australia Langdon Palmer Ferrari 488 Spider 3900 7 7 1:59.2240 0:14.5416 5 22 Ferrari Club Australia Tony Di Cosmo Ferrari 458 4500 7 7 2:00.5749 0:15.8925 6 72 Ferrari Club Australia Ray Delaney Ferrari 599 HGTE 6000 7 5 2:01.9896 0:17.3072 7 55 Ferrari Club Australia Phil Simpfendorfer Ferrari 599 6000 7 5 2:03.4232 0:18.7408 8 57 Ferrari Club Australia Grant Stephenson Ferrari F430 4300 8 8 2:03.8519 0:19.1695 9 33 Ferrari Club Australia Warren Jack Ferrari 488 GTB 3900 7 7 2:06.9312 0:22.2488 10 54 Ferrari Club Australia Sam Russo Ferrari 360 Modena 3600 7 3 2:07.6659 0:22.9835 11 32 Ferrari Club Australia Peter Island Ferrari 575M 5700 8 8 2:08.1510 0:23.4686 12 40 Ferrari Club Australia Robert Marsh Ferrari 360 Spider 3600 7 7 2:09.5274 0:24.8450 13 38 Ferrari Club Australia Peter Linton Ferrari F360 3598 7 7 2:14.5142 0:29.8318 14 28 Ferrari Club Australia Alister Haigh ferrari F360 modena 3600 7 7 2:14.7171 0:30.0347 15 42 Ferrari Club Australia Fred Milana Ferrari F355 Spider 3500 7 4 2:15.2656 0:30.5832 16 25 Ferrari Club Australia Frank Ferrari Ferrari 512 TR 4995 7 5 2:19.8752 0:35.1928 17 3 Ferrari Club Australia Gordon Axford Ferrari 360 Spider 7 5 2:20.6222 0:35.9398 18 1 Ferrari Club Australia Ken Abrahams Ferrari Dino 308 GT4 2927 7 3 2:21.4913 0:36.8089 19 26 Ferrari Club Australia Andrew Fraser Ferrari 365 GT4 BB 4400 6 3 2:23.2680 0:38.5856 20 65 Ferrari Club Australia Grahame Warren Ferrari 575 Maranell 5750 6 4 2:23.7775 0:39.0951 21 20 Ferrari Club Australia Pip Covell Ferrari 575 Maranell 5750 6 4 2:24.2051 0:39.5227 22 29 Ferrari Club Australia Karen Ho Ferrari 308 GTS 2927 4 2 2:32.4654 0:47.7830 Fastest Lap Av.Speed Is 153kph R=under lap record by greatest margin, r=under lap record, *=fastest lap time ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Issue# 1 - Printed Wed Oct 11 10:53:59 2017 Timing System By NATSOFT (03)63431311 www.natsoft.com.au/results & Dorian DATA-1 Timing by :- Timetronics Pty Ltd - 03 5443 6073
     
  12. simon klein

    simon klein Two Time F1 World Champ
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    Yeah I get it.
    Some folk go out there to have a good time.
    I don't see your involvement anywhere there so don't insinuate against those who do,it's belittling of you.
    Had you competed,then you may have a leg to stand on......besides,I thought Kennykoala did ok for an nearly octogenarian.
     
    kena likes this.
  13. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
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    Been there... Done that.... I don't need to be there to know what's what.

    Incidentally... Check out Millard's time!
     
  14. kerrari

    kerrari Two Time F1 World Champ
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    Oct 22, 2004
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    Terrific day on Phillip Island - managed to get 4 runs in before weather / exhaustion / low fuel sent us home. Great job by Maserati club officials and no big incidents. Lots of happy people!
    island[​IMG]
    island[​IMG]
     
  15. kerrari

    kerrari Two Time F1 World Champ
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    dunno why image pasted won't attach? Appears in the box, then disappears when I hit post?
     
  16. simon klein

    simon klein Two Time F1 World Champ
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    Feb 25, 2009
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    Where?
     
  17. kerrari

    kerrari Two Time F1 World Champ
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    Oct 22, 2004
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    go to the Natsoft website for all the latest.
     
  18. simon klein

    simon klein Two Time F1 World Champ
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    Feb 25, 2009
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    Your link doesn't open
     
  19. Horse

    Horse Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Dec 1, 2005
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    Jon
    How many schools?

    "It be long..." How many schools?

    So bitter.
     
  20. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
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    I didn't post a link.
     
  21. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
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    Full Name:
    Peter
    See? Even you admit it's a joke.
     
  22. kerrari

    kerrari Two Time F1 World Champ
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    Oct 22, 2004
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    Karen H.
  23. Steve355F1

    Steve355F1 F1 World Champ
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    Aug 26, 2011
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  24. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
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    Full Name:
    Peter
    Oh god... Are you rooting her too?

    Does Mrs horse know?
     
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