Aussie joke thread | Page 269 | FerrariChat

Aussie joke thread

Discussion in 'Australia' started by stephens, Oct 17, 2005.

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  1. Ferraridoc

    Ferraridoc F1 World Champ
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    #6701 Ferraridoc, Aug 10, 2019
    A couple of old men in a boarding house got into a fight over breakfast, one hitting the other over the head with his bowl of corn flakes. The heavy crockery fractured his skull, and he later died in hospital, while the alleged offender is nowhere to be found. Police are looking for a cereal killer.
     
    chris0315, Maranello550, greg328 and 2 others like this.
  2. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    #6702 Aircon, Aug 10, 2019
    Groan
     
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  3. Ferraridoc

    Ferraridoc F1 World Champ
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    #6703 Ferraridoc, Aug 29, 2019
    Q: Where do you weigh pies?
    A: Over the rainbow






























    Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie....
     
  4. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    #6704 Aircon, Aug 29, 2019
    How do you wake up Stefani Germanotta?

    Poker face.
     
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  5. Ferraridoc

    Ferraridoc F1 World Champ
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    #6705 Ferraridoc, Aug 29, 2019
    What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
    You don't need to go to a whorehouse to get a lentil on you.
     
    DMWC likes this.
  6. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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    #6706 FazzerPorscheman, Aug 31, 2019
    Bush Jr., Obama, and Trump are standing before God...

    God begins by asking Bush: "George, in what do you believe?"

    Bush: "I believe in free trade and the USA as a strong nation".

    God, seemingly impressed: "You may sit to my right".

    Then God looks at Obama and asks "Barack, in what do you believe?".

    Obama: "I believe in democracy, helping the poor and in world peace."

    God is impressed: "You may sit to my left".

    Then he turns to Trump, and asks: "Donald, in what do you believe?".

    Trump: "I believe that you are sitting in my chair."
     
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  7. Ferraridoc

    Ferraridoc F1 World Champ
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    #6707 Ferraridoc, Aug 31, 2019
    Gee, I didn't see that coming....
     
  8. Ferraridoc

    Ferraridoc F1 World Champ
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    #6708 Ferraridoc, Sep 3, 2019
    To carry on from another thread, apparently, Eskimos can catch polar bears using only a chainsaw and a packet of Birdseye frozen peas. What they do is cut a hole in the ice with the chainsaw, and carefully place the frozen peas around the edge. When the polar bear comes down for a pea, they kick him in the ice hole
     
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  9. knocker

    knocker F1 World Champ
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    #6709 knocker, Sep 3, 2019
    It’s better than nothing


    Sent from my iPhone using FerrariChat.com mobile app
     
  10. Ferraridoc

    Ferraridoc F1 World Champ
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    #6710 Ferraridoc, Sep 3, 2019
  11. IanB

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    #6711 IanB, Sep 3, 2019
    fixed
     
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  12. IanB

    IanB F1 World Champ
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    #6712 IanB, Sep 3, 2019
    fixed
     
  13. Ferraridoc

    Ferraridoc F1 World Champ
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    #6713 Ferraridoc, Sep 3, 2019
    Fixeded
     
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  14. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    #6714 moretti, Sep 3, 2019
     
  15. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    #6715 Aircon, Sep 3, 2019
    Good to see you've learnt how to use quotes.

    Lol
     
  16. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    #6716 moretti, Sep 3, 2019
    :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: the great unwashed
     
  17. knocker

    knocker F1 World Champ
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    #6717 knocker, Sep 3, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2019
  18. Steve355F1

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    #6718 Steve355F1, Sep 3, 2019
    At least you appear to have run out of petrol next to a cafe this time! :p
     
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  19. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    #6719 Aircon, Sep 3, 2019
    Long signature you have there.
     
  20. simon klein

    simon klein Two Time F1 World Champ
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    #6720 simon klein, Sep 3, 2019
    I thought they ran on 98,not Kopi Luwak!
     
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  21. knocker

    knocker F1 World Champ
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    #6721 knocker, Sep 3, 2019
    I’ve never heard of that type of fuel, is it new ?


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  22. knocker

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    #6722 knocker, Sep 3, 2019
    And the foods always good


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  23. knocker

    knocker F1 World Champ
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    #6723 knocker, Sep 3, 2019
  24. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    #6724 Aircon, Sep 3, 2019
  25. knocker

    knocker F1 World Champ
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    #6725 knocker, Sep 4, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2019
    I just woke up from my afternoon nap, I’m still a bit woozy


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