That, my good man, is a Two-Headed Tennessee Whiskey Devil! You can tell by the tailless rump and dark snout. The smaller head is normally on the right side, which is why you can't see it in the photo. You sir are lucky to be alive.
I vote Bull Mastiff. Suspiciously similar to the one on your rug in the file pic. Image Unavailable, Please Login
OK, what must have happened is... aliens have decided to visit Earth. Specifically, they chose a small wooded area in the South, near Nashville. Curiously, they chose to be spotted by a walker. Specifically, a walker with a camera. More specifically still, a walker with a camera with internet access and the technological savvy to broadcast images taken to the rest of humanity. However, the aliens were prepared for this. They seemed to have picked him out specifically. Spying either on his home or his online contributions, the aliens managed to faithfully transform themselves into that which we would not suspect... man's most faithful companion. Although, having said that, let us not take that as a comment that would diminish the immeasurably valuable contribution of the companionship of woman. So. There are many reasons as to why they may be here, but I think we can settle upon one thing... we've got to get them drunk. I recommend starting them off with an alcohol free Becks, before surreptitiously moving them on to regular Becks. As they become increasingly uninhibited they may make a mistake and start speaking in their own native extra-terrestrial language rather than the more terrestrial canine "woof woof". Upon receiving this irrefutable evidence from the inebriated aliens, our next step is to contact someone in NASA. They will undoubtedly have protocols for dealing with making interplanetary contact. Unless, of course, the aliens have, in their prior sobriety, anticipated this and did infiltrate NASA itself with their own agents. The mind-boggling ramifications of this are... well... two-fold. First, they probably won't have submitted to the proper immigration procedures for the United States of America and are contributing to the number of illegal aliens - who are probably not paying taxes. Secondly, we're going to have to change the name of NASA's human resources department to the more politically correct "workforce resources"... unless the aliens have proven themselves to be poor employees, in which case we'll have to term it "entity resources" instead. However, while it might be important to make some sort of diplomatic overture here, we don't want to let the aliens know that we saw so easily through their disguise - or they might take it as an insult. This is one we'll have to tread very carefully with, after all, we don't want to inadvertently deny these space travellers their inalienable alien rights - to do so might seriously risk alienating their civilization them from us... and, frankly, it could be construed as inhumane of us to alienate the aliens. At this point, I'd like to call upon the floor (though I mean no disrespect to the ceiling or walls) to brainstorm ways in which we can subtly inform the aliens that their disguises were indeed very good, but that we are peripherally aware of their contributions to our society, and we welcome them to unveil themselves while remaining within the laws of public entity decency - as it must now be called. With tin, Andrew. Image Unavailable, Please Login
