Brucisms... | FerrariChat

Brucisms...

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by 134282, Jan 10, 2006.

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  1. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ BANNED

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    Carbon McCoy
    How many of you have been on the phone and heard Bruce chime in with these catch phrases...?


    1. YOUR BEST OFFENSE IS YOUR DEFENSE.

    2. BELIEVE NONE OF WHAT YOU HEAR AND HALF OF WHAT YOU SEE.

    3. LOVE IS BLIND BUT THE NEIGHBORS AIN'T.

    4. DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT THE JOB YOU HAVE.

    5. DON'T LEND MONEY OR TOOLS TO NEIGHBORS, FRIENDS OR FAMILY.

    6. WHEN IN DOUBT, CHARGE SALES TAX.
     
    134282, Jan 10, 2006
    #1
  2. Supra

    Supra Karting

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    Who is this Bruce, and when can I call him?
     
    Supra, Jan 10, 2006
    #2
  3. BWS550

    BWS550 Wants to be a mod

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    BRUCE WELLINGTON
    CARBON


    YOUR A CRAZY BASTARD....BORED AT WORK TODAY???????????????
     
    BWS550, Jan 10, 2006
    #3
  4. MARQ

    MARQ Formula 3

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    Sorry, can't help you out.
    Bruce never calls me.
     
    MARQ, Jan 10, 2006
    #4
  5. Enzo

    Enzo F1 Rookie

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    I have heard them before. Don't forget

    Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer.
     
    Enzo, Jan 10, 2006
    #5
  6. dm_n_stuff

    dm_n_stuff Four Time F1 World Champ Lifetime Rossa Owner

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    I usually get...

    Prior to speaking with him, from my receptionist, "DAVE, DR. WELLINGTON IS ON THE PHONE, HE SAYS IT'S URGENT...THE BLOOD TESTS CAME BACK AND YOU'RE STILL CONTAGEOUS."

    Then I pick up and get....

    "YO YA CRAZY BASTARD, WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED ME?"

    "YO YA CRAZY BASTARD, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?"

    and, my personal favorite,

    "YO YA CRAZY BASTARD, STILL FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT ON FCHAT I SEE."

    :D

    YO, BRUCE, YA CRAZY BASTARD, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?
     
    dm_n_stuff, Jan 10, 2006
    #6
  7. matteo

    matteo F1 World Champ

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    "YO CRAZY BASTARD, GO F*** YOURSELF"

    "GO BUST HIS BALLS"

    "DOES MY A$$ LOOK BIG IN THESE PANTS?"

    "HE CAN GO F*** HIMSELF"

    "GET OUTTA HERE YA STUPID BASTARD"

    did I miss any?
     
    matteo, Jan 10, 2006
    #7
  8. Enzo

    Enzo F1 Rookie

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    The best thing I have heard from him on the phone is the time he told he fed ex guy Happy Qwansa
     
    Enzo, Jan 10, 2006
    #8
  9. AJS328

    AJS328 F1 Veteran Owner

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    "Payfrit"

    "Propaly"

    "Don't ask for Rachmanus from me!"
     
    AJS328, Jan 10, 2006
    #9
  10. AJS328

    AJS328 F1 Veteran Owner

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    Also worth a mention:

    As a result of Bruce's Long Island upbringing, any word that ends in an "A" is pronounced as if it ends with an "R". For example...

    "Hey Andrea-er, why don't you order a pizzer and some soder for us and I'll go to pck them up in the Honder."
     
    AJS328, Jan 10, 2006
    #10
  11. Andreanna

    Andreanna Karting

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    You've said everything I was thinking!!!!!!! :)
     
    Andreanna, Jan 10, 2006
    #11
  12. AJS328

    AJS328 F1 Veteran Owner

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    What about these gems?

    "Awwhh, Cleemom. Wha happened?"

    "Uh huh. I see how you work."

    "You're on my list now!"
     
    AJS328, Jan 10, 2006
    #12
  13. BWS550

    BWS550 Wants to be a mod

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    HEY YOU PRICK, I JUST ORDERED MY EUBONICS DICTIONARY OF PHILLY WORD USAGE AND PRONUNCIATION...GIVE IT A DAY.

    I SEE ALL YOU BASTARDS DONT WORK FOR A LIVING..(EXCLUDING MY WIFE)

    MATTY,MARQ,DAVE,GUS, CARBY.................GO FUUCK YOURSELVES........
     
    BWS550, Jan 10, 2006
    #13
  14. AJS328

    AJS328 F1 Veteran Owner

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    LOL!!! Suck it!
     
    AJS328, Jan 10, 2006
    #14
  15. BWS550

    BWS550 Wants to be a mod

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    BE NICE, ANDREA IS HERE ON THE OTHER PUTER..........FUUCK OFFFFF :)
     
    BWS550, Jan 10, 2006
    #15
  16. Steve R

    Steve R F1 Rookie BANNED

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    Bruce, I've only spoken to you on the phone maybe 2-3 times and I've heard HALF these phrases, sprinkled-in with some profanity. Then, 2 days later a box of batteries arrive in the mail...I see a pattern emerging:)

    How many of us have received a BOB from Bruce?....Box Of Batteries
     
    Steve R, Jan 10, 2006
    #16
  17. Kds

    Kds F1 World Champ

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    When in doubt charge sales tax.....LOL !!!
     
    Kds, Jan 10, 2006
    #17
  18. Enzo

    Enzo F1 Rookie

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    Better question would be

    How many of us OBYGN's have gotten BOB from Bruce?? :) :)
     
    Enzo, Jan 10, 2006
    #18
  19. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ BANNED

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    That is still and always will be my favorite Brucism...


    Pat...!!! OMG...!!! "Dr. Carbon McCoy, OB/GYN" has received a box of batteries COUNTLESS times...!!! LMAO...!
     
    134282, Jan 10, 2006
    #19
  20. jimpo1

    jimpo1 Two Time F1 World Champ Owner Silver Subscribed

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    I can't believe you've all missed:

    Put down the crack pipe!
     
    jimpo1, Jan 10, 2006
    #20
  21. Enzo

    Enzo F1 Rookie

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    Up your meds!
     
    Enzo, Jan 10, 2006
    #21
  22. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang F1 World Champ Lifetime Rossa

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    ROTFLMAO
    This thread is hilarious, but hits the f****** nail so badly:D

    Hi Bros Bruce & Andrea,
    a bit late and as usual for an old man with a bit delay:
    Happy New Year to you & yours 2006 and I`m exciting looking forward to meet you THIS year.

    Wolfgang
     
    Wolfgang, Jan 10, 2006
    #22
  23. AJS328

    AJS328 F1 Veteran Owner

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    Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say that EVERY year! ;)

    (Refer to Carbon's original Brucism #2)
     
    AJS328, Jan 10, 2006
    #23
  24. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang F1 World Champ Lifetime Rossa

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    I`LL be there 2006, promissed!!!
    Get ready & prepared;)......ask the DFW dudes what happened when Wolfgang came all over Texas:D....and this dudes are used with hurricans, tornados and ......you know;)
     
    Wolfgang, Jan 10, 2006
    #24
  25. sparta49

    sparta49 F1 Veteran Owner

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    I seem to remeber being told to "GET OFF THE SAUCE" :)
     
    sparta49, Jan 10, 2006
    #25
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