For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in Southern California, here is a copy of the new California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a very new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area. 2004 SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION Name: ___________________ Stage Name: __________________ Agent: ___________________ Attorney: ____________________ Therapist's Name: _________________ Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female* [ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female [ ] Both *If female, indicate breast implant size: _______ Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely opera! te a motor vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No Please list brand of cell phone: ________. If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't: _______________________________________________ (Use extra pages, if necessary) Please check hair color: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead [ ] Other ___________ Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply) [ ] Eating [ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee [ ] Applying make-up [ ] Shaving (male or female) [ ] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience) [ ] Lifting weights [ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ] Tanning [ ] Snorting cocaine [ ] Watching TV [ ] Reading Variety [ ] Surfing the net via laptop [ ] Discharg! ing firearms / reloading Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to: [ ] Shoot at other drivers ___ [ ] Be shot at ___ If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately: [ ] Call the police to report the crime. [ ] Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase. [ ] Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for your 911 call not going through. [ ] Call your therapist. In the event of an earthquake, you should: [ ] Stop your car. [ ] Keep driving and hope for the best. [ ] Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones. [ ] Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9. In the instance of rain, you should: [ ] Never drive over 5 MPH. [ ] Drive twice as fast as usual. [ ] You're not sure what "rain" is. Please indicate your current nu! mber of therapy sessions per week: ____ Are you presently taking any of the following medications? [ ] Prozac [ ] Zovirax [ ] Lithium [ ] Zanax [ ] Valium [ ] Zoloft [ ] All of the above [ ] None of the above* * If none, please explain: __________________. Length of daily commute: [ ] Less than 1 hour* [ ] 1 hour [ ] 2 hours [ ] 3 hours [ ] 4 hours or more * If less than 1 hour, please explain: ____________________. When stopped by police, you should: [ ] Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready. [ ] Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 freeway. [ ] Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit. When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it means: [ ] Her turn-signals are broken. [ ] She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes [ ] She is drying her nails. Which part of your car will wear out first? [ ] The wiper blades [ ] The seat belts [ ] The horn Automatic door locks are good for: [ ] Security [ ] Convenience [ ] Messing with the heads of people trying to get in. The "bright" setting on your headlights is for: [ ] Dark, poorly lit roads [ ] Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way [ ] Revenge If you are over the age of 75, you do not have to complete this test, you are entitled to drive even if you cannot see, hear, or move.
Haha. Very funny. One thing I noticed: Zovirax is an anti-viral med, typically used in the treatment of Herpes. It doesn't really fit with the others on the list, but I'm sure more than a few residents of the state use it on a regular basis!
It probably should be given to schoolkids as a preventive measure. see this thread.http://ferrarichat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39549
WTF! What is this driver's license bs? I don't need no stinkin driver's license. All I need is a golf club by my side. As spoken by Jack Nicholson as they hauled him away. Dr "Here's Johnny!" Who
